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Thread: premature ejaculation fetish? is this crazy?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array wolvesinthethroneroom's Avatar
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    Default premature ejaculation fetish? is this crazy?


    This post is not your standard complaint about premature ejaculation or a search for a cure.
    I was looking for a mature forum to discuss it and decided to register here after browsing through several health, sex and relationship oriented forums. I almost didn't browse this one and was surprised to see men on here when I did, but everyones posts seem mature and genuine, hardly what you find on most other sites where sex is discussed.

    I'm a fit, active, non-smoking and attractive man, I run, eat healthy and am in the gym often. I'm currently in Iraq and you can guess what I do for a living.
    I have been sexually active since I was 15 and have never had a problem meeting women, I've never been married (partly because of my love for meeting new women) and I'm in my 30's, I just love meeting and dating new women, though I currently have a girlfriend who I am faithful to.

    I have always been praised for the size of my penis, the first time I realized I was endowed was when I was about 17. I'm not one of these guys that brag or exaggerate, it isn't the greatly exaggerated and universally claimed 9 or 10 inches that you see talked about all over the internet (more like 7.5), but it's very girthy and that part is what the majority of women I've been with love.
    It no doubt has given me confidence with women and I'd be a liar if I said the ego didn't like it, but I'm very modest about it and never hint about it when I'm dating a girl, nor have I ever been part of size conversations with my guy friends.
    Honestly the women I have been with have made much more of it than I ever have and using my best guesstimation, 7 out of 10 women that I have been with have made repeated compliments about my size since I was young and probably only 3 out of 10 have made negative comments about my lack of stamina.
    This is probably why I've never been as distressed about the issue as a lot of other men seem to be.
    It is a bit confusing because women, at least on the internet claim that stamina is more important than size, I imagine why I heard mostly compliments is because they didn't want to damage my ego, understandable and appreciated.

    Obviously size isn't enough, so the reason I'm posting this is about an issue I have which that is nothing to brag about and is, for most men, quite embarrassing. It's been a constant companion since my first sexual experience, though I didn't think about it or worry about it until I was in my early 20's. I quickly learned to control it, or manage it, so to speak. I learned to sense early enough when I was going to ejaculate and I would then quickly stop moving while staying inside the girl or would squeeze my penis at the base and pull out, depending on how aroused I was. I usually had to stay still or out for a good minute but I could then go back it. No doubt very disruptive to any build up of climax the girl was having.

    While these techniques allowed me to stay hard for up to an hour (torturously) it did not enable me to give good vigorous sex, basically I couldn't thrust in and out more than 3-5 times without some kind of interruption, which is a much shorter amount of time than most men who typically complain about PE. Lots of men can go in and out consistently for several minutes before ejaculating and it is still considered disruptive to sexual satisfaction and intimacy for both partners. I have never lasted even 30 seconds of constant thrusting.
    Obviously for almost every woman I slept with, the admiration of she had for my aesthetically pleasing penis, or the ecstasy she felt from my girth quickly turned into her simple frustration at me not being able to simply give it to her good.

    I learned to finger the clit the right ways, massage the gspot, give good oral while doing that, talk dirty, all kinds of things a lot of other guys I knew were too lazy or too timid to try, but I always felt like I was letting the girl down and at times it was embarrassing to not be able to last and thrust in and out of her.
    My penis head is quite large, larger than my shaft and is quite sensitive even though I am circumcised and have worn boxers or no underwear at all since I was in my early teens, which is nothing different from most guys. For a year during my mid 20's I did 'edging', controlling my ejaculation when masturbating, bringing it to close ejaculating then stopping, repeatedly for at least an hour each time, trying to learn how to build stamina during sex. All it seemed to do was make me orgasm harder, which wasn't a bad thing, but it didn't cure my lack of stamina.

    In my late 20's a girl who had known me for many years, would come over to my place several times a week, no emotion or romance involved, we would just hang out and have sex. She had known about my problem but we didn't really talk about it.
    While having sex with her during this time I began to let myself ejaculate a little when I'd pull out. I'd go right back in do a few strokes and then come out and let it shoot some more. After a few months of this I found myself ejaculating a good amount of semen and only feeling a mild orgasm and I would stay hard. I could pull out and shoot a few spurts without touching it and then I could go right back in. I was actually so swollen and rigid during these episodes it was marginally uncomfortable, however it she found the extra swelling impressive, this was a big boost to my confidence finding out I could do this and that my penis seemed even larger when I would do this.
    Yet the stamina did not improve and ultimately I began to realize I would always have this issue. I gradually began to worry less about it as the fact that I could ejaculate and stay rock hard was impressive and many girls found it fun and arousing and it distracted from the fact that I couldn't give it to them normally.
    A lot of women I'd meet and have sex with without much romantic interest would give me a 2nd chance in bed, but I often was honest with them and let them know that if they needed orgasm from vigorous intercourse then I wasn't their man. I'd come a long way from being totally ashamed of it in my late teens and early 20's.

    Soon after this I met a woman older than me, she was 32 I was 26, we ended up dating for 5 years. She was able to grind on my penis while I held still, on top and in missionary. My head pushing against her cervix and my body rubbing her clit she would have amazing orgasms. I often had problems holding back even staying still, but when I did ejaculate before she had climaxed I would stay hard so it didn't matter. She loved that I could do that and it didn't seem to matter that in the 5 years I never stroked in and out of her without stopping for more than a few maybe 30 seconds.
    If only all women could do that! Just kidding, it's not their fault, I don't expect them to adapt to me, I'm the one that is different.

    I've never had a girlfriend break up with me over my inability to last normally, though quite a few have asked frustratedly why I can't last and didn't understand why all the typical 'treatments' or exercises did not change it (I've tried many). I assured them all it was because they were just so hot haha.

    Enter 2009, I still have the issue and my current girlfriend does not mind as she can climax while riding me and she pretty much worships my size, taking pictures of my penis and bragging to all of her friends. It has even been a casual topic over drinks with her giggling girlfriends about my size and rapid ejaculations, but in a joking way, not in a ridiculing way. Obviously, I am not embarrassed about it anymore and am comfortable with how I am, even grateful as there are millions of men more concerned about size than I am about PE.

    Why I'm looking for opinion or comment is that I've found myself over the past year masturbating and becoming extremely aroused by the memories of all the times in my youth that I came before entering or immediately after. It seems I've feti****ed what were at the time extremely embarrassing situations. I even have found myself becoming aroused thinking about my girlfriends female friends talking about my issue.
    I have been a member of a large penis forum for about 3 years and this year is the first time I've admitted to my issue on there.
    I'm not ashamed that I find these memories erotic now, I just don't understand. I searched 'premature ejaculation fetish' and unsurprisingly there is nothing on it other than links to a few sparse mentions in sex forums. There are far stranger and weird fetishes out there, but this one is just so off the wall that noone is into it.

    Are there any men who have had even a slight arousal to this issue or a situation he had? Are there any women who would find it erotic?
    I'm not into humilation, like you commonly find in cuckold fetishes or small penis fetishes, I just get a rush seeing a womans reaction to my sudden ejaculation. My girlfriend is used to it and after she orgasms on me I roll her over and do my 10 second thing in her, but since she expects it the rush isn't there.
    It is not exactly the kind of fetish you choose to have, it has just happened. I can't talk to my buddies about it, unlike fetishes about women in stockings, boots or secretary glasses-which I like too- but those are very vanilla , plus they do not give me the same rush as a girl going down my pants and me shooting all over her hand before she gets me unbuttoned or me busting as I'm entering her, getting half of it on the bed (that actually happened the first time with my girlfriend. Yes I know it's strange to find that erotic.
    Is this the oddest fetish or what? How would you ladies react if your boyfriend admitted to this fetish? I haven't told my girlfriend yet. I think that's what I'm looking for is female commentary on how to approach it with her and what she might think, from a womans perspective. Is it a turn off that a guy would find arousal with something that every other guy would find very embarrassing?
    Men are welome to comment on this too, just remember I'm not looking for consolation or advice on how to cure premature ejaculation!
    Thank you to anyone who read this long post!

  2. #2
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    I don't know that this is a fetish so much as something you have become accustomed to. As long as your lady freind is fine with it, it works.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  3. #3
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    I don't think you have a fetish for premature ejaculation- You have a fetish for being humiliated (which is probably why it turns you on to think about her and her girlfriends talking about your problem).

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    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array PJhavinfunagain's Avatar
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    Can you go more than once? Does it last longer the 2nd time?

    I know when Dh is not getting much he gets off pretty quick. When I want things to last I do him first so I know the IC will last longer.
    "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."
    Helen Keller

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    Junior Member Array wolvesinthethroneroom's Avatar
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    I can go more than once, I recover pretty fast. I usually am out of semen though by the time I ejaculate the final time and I go limp. It's weird, the ejaculations I have after that aren't as good and I produce little fluid, which is mostly clear.
    I have honestly wondered about the humiliation fetish, I just don't think I do, unless I'm not aware of it as it is only in the context of not lasting long.
    It's the situation and the woman's reaction, not really what she says after it. I've had some mean things said and have been ridiculed, but it's not those situations that arouse me. It's the whole act of doing it, the woman seeing it, maybe talking about it yes, I can't really pinpoint one thing that causes me to be turned on by it, hence the confusion.
    I am very outgoing, alpha male type otherwise, maybe it's why I'm turned on by my issue, it's kind of sexually submissive? Or it's not exactly a display of virility or manliness and it contrasts with myself otherwise, my job by nature requires a great amount of manly and dominant exertions, maybe this is my escape or release?
    Thank you for the comments, I'm open to any suggestions. I won't die if I don't figure it out, but I'm curious by nature and sometimes other people can help you self-analyze and find a way to deal with your own issues.

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    It could be that rather than retrain yourself your mind (clever things that they are) found a way to find pleasure in this behavior. I think I would find it frustrating to deal with in a relationship especially starting out, but obviously there are women for whom it isn't a problem.

    If this isn't preventing you from having a meaningful relationship than you're ok.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  7. #7
    Junior Member Array wolvesinthethroneroom's Avatar
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    Interesting take, I have wondered if I am 'feti****ing' it to overcome it in a way. It isn't causing problems in itself but I guess my ultimate question is- should I tell my girlfriend that it turns me on? Will she think I make it happen and can somehow control it and choose not to last longer because it turns me on? Which isn't true.
    I want to be honest with her about it and we are very open about our fantasies, but I feel apprehensive about being candid about this one.

  8. #8
    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array PJhavinfunagain's Avatar
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    If you and your gal genuinely care for each other I say talk about it. I have had some difficult conversations with my DH lately (married 8 together 11 years). I told him how nervous I was but wanted to have a frank discussion. He appreciated my honesty and wanting to be more open about our sex life.
    "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."
    Helen Keller

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    Dude your post is very long, but for pre ejaculation, look into kegal exercises. They are the real deal. You have to stick with them though. You'll see a difference in a few weeks

  10. #10
    Welcome Committee Club Array dr.mansview's Avatar
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    Dude your post is very long
    i think u just paid W I T T R the ultimate compliment..bet he was hoping it would come from a woman however
    a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..

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