MrsDeadCeleb

my boyfriend and i have been together six months now -though you'd think we'd been best friends all our lives. he's ten years older than me at 30 and fairly sexually experienced. he however is the only man i've ever enjoyed sex with and i absolutely worship him, he can do no wrong. our sex life is fantastic, it really is, except for one single problem...
as i mentioned i am highly sexually inexperienced and he's not. i know i'm good at most things, but his favourite position is with me on top. i really want to please him but i just don't know what to do!
i don't feel self-conscious and i don't particularly have any hang ups about my body, but i'm just hopeless!
we have tried a few times but it's just embarrassing -for both of us, i imagine. what do i do? i just don't seem to get it.
i just want to please him and he keeps insisting i go ontop but it's getting to the point where i'mscared to cos it's so humiliating and it makes me feel afterwards.
any help would be much appreciated, especially from the guys -what feels best for the man?

Explorer44

I guess I'm not sure what it is that isn't working for you...comfort? movement? what to do?


A little clarification?

MrsDeadCeleb

well, i just don't know what to do! grind? bounce? what's the right way to move, do i roll my hips or what?? lol, completely useless.

to be honest, i know i could be pleased this way cos when i'm moving around.. putting it bluntly, my clitoris is being stimulated anyway.. but i want to please him like he pleases me. i love him so much. i don't want our sex life to be something that is dreaded by us.

what technique feels better for the man?

SFDad

I am not sure what you could be doing wrong. Is your BF complaining or are you worried he isn't enjoying it? As a guy, I like being able to lie there, play with my partners goodies and not have to really to perform. I like it both when a woman grinds slowly, or slides up and down- the only tricky part there is not to let the man slip out. But really, I can't remember it ever being not good. Really- if you are turned on, he likely would.

Oh- reaching back and stroking testicles is a big turn on for me. Or looking when my wife looks me in the eyes and strokes herself with me inside her. Lots of goodness in that position.

Mes_T

You can just ask him what he likes, have him place his hands on your hips and guide your body to move the way he wants it to.

In any case, an ex of mine said it really well: "If I see that YOU are enjoying yourself, I'll automatically start enjoying myself too." I think to an extent, this is true in many situations, this being one of them!

StillLearnin

Try placing his hands on your hips and your butt, to help show you what he likes. He can guide the movements. Also place his hands on your breasts. Sit upright to give him the full view of your face and breasts. I think that's one of the best positions for a woman to show off her beautiful body, which is a work of art. Plus, here's a real sexy tip: lean forward and offer your breasts to him, and your nipples to his mouth. That gets me going every time...

An important safety tip: Don't go too fast, or too high, which could cause you to pop out, and possibly land hard on his erect penis, which could break it. I've heard some horror stories. Ouch. (please don't let this possibility ruin your confidence)

coolguy0005

what you are thinking is what is termed as extra conscious ....remember when men's is hard it like every type of play done on it ...when u are doing it just close ur eyes and start enjoying without actully trying to quantifying the pleasure ....carry on all the movements....if u want to actully know what he likes just play a game with him.Both of u can actully do a verbal sex exciting each other with words of like what u like to be done to u and what u would like to do to him and responding to each other moves .it will not only established a communication amonst you ..will also give u understanding of what each of u like ...in that may may be u will find that whatever u are doing to him is actually pleasing him very well ....bingo

MrsDeadCeleb

hmm, well he's a very tactful man and i know he would never intentionally make me feel bad but he mentioned the other night that, because he works twelve hours a day, it would be nice if he didn't have to always do all the work (fair enough). both of us have very high sex drives and are quite sexually aggressive but with him i don't feel like i can be (though he wants me to be). i am rough with him and quite dominant, but i never feel like i can just dive on him or really take the lead because for either of us to really enjoy ourselves he would always end up on top, which of course defeats the purpose of me being like that anyway.
he's never told me that he doesn't enjoy it, but he has never come with me on top of him, and usually during sex he gets quite vocal but, again, not with me on top.
partly, i'm terrified of hurting him. he mentioned to me a while back after i asked why his penis sometimes bends when he's inside me (causing pain for both f us) and, in his words: "some fat b*tch sat on it and broke it". that's also me completely contradicting myself after telling you he was tactful, but there you go.
anyway, his penis also curves up and apparantly if i was to lean back while riding him it could be quite painful for him? he's also very well-endowed which makes the whole thing much more difficult, and he hates having his balls touched anyway due to an accident when he was a kid.

it. in general i am very sexually confident but because of this i'm holding back. i jus can't switch my brain off, constantly wondering if he's enjoying himself, if i'm doing it right... in all honesty, trying not to come lol.

but so far you have all been very helpful, thank you. any more suggestions would be much appreciated, i think i may need speaking to as if i am a deaf foreigner.

alterview

as long as this isnt the case all the time and you dont mind indulging him on this matter...

on occassion this is nice; kind of like being treated to a nice massage. first thing to do is get in the roll (yes, like a rolling play fantasy) by focusing on pleasure (both yours and his) and nothing else. tell him to lay on his back on the bed, maybe even blind fold him to start with. get him going with playful foreplay with a little oral included. get on top and grind away with full abandon until you have your orgasm (its okay to be greedy some times). then maybe pull off the blind fold and work on longer strokes and maybe even finish with a little more oral and hand stimulation. do with enthusiasm and encouragement. it great to be naughty; make it fun.

just my thoughts on the matter. i love having my gf on top. the view is wonderful and i know that its the position where she has control and can get off the easiest by grinding. i love feeling, hearing and seeing her pleasure. though, like your bf, its not the easiest way for me to get off. some times it does take switching to another position for the last few minutes. if this is the case with him and you feel like you are having a tough time getting him over the very top of the mountain (so to speak) then tell him (like demand) that you want to feel him come from behind (or what ever position gets him there the easiest).

there are many other possibilities... just have fun and focus on the collective pleasure.

cheers!

SM2

It seems to me that if you were doing it wrong he wouldn't keep requesting it.