My wish list - Page 2

**StillLearnin** · 10-30-2009, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Theresa

Some sound like alot of fun. Some not so fun (just my opinion). Would you talk to my husband please????

Theresa, if you talk to my wife I'll be glad to talk to your husband.

Or, maybe you and I should hook up, and they should get together. Just kidding!

Here's what we need to do with young couples in love (or think they are): get a bunch of couples in a room and let the married and divorced adults with experience match them up. Go around the room and match interests, personalities, and sex drives. Then there might not be so many unhappy marriages and a lot less divorces.

**caterpillar79** · 10-30-2009, 09:15 AM

It's not all about sex, StillLearnin - well, at least for me. Being a woman, I realized that I can never open up sexually to my partner if my emotional needs that he needs to care care of are not met. I have been in a marriage where the husband just took what he wanted, and I felt so worthless, used, and abused. I stayed that way for 7 years, for I thought I was supposed to (that's what I was taught to be in my culture - to be submissive). But then, I made a brave move to stop it...

Now, I found that special person who tries his best to reach out to me. He was able to transcend the wall I have build due to this trauma. And I am happy, that I can finally do whatever it is that we feel like doing, both our fantasies and all.

Looks like it is best that you start hosting dating parties there!

**StillLearnin** · 10-30-2009, 02:00 PM

I know it's not all about sex. I've been a loving, caring, and supportive boyfriend, fiance, husband and father for the past 25 years. Marriages are give and take, and I've been all give. I've tried everything in the book to get her to understand my needs, but it took some drastic measures for her to understand that I'm serious about making some changes in my relationship, one way or another.

**StillLearnin** · 10-30-2009, 02:14 PM

I'm not giving this list to her. Yet. Our marriage just reached a positive turning point a couple of weeks ago. So I'm being patient before I introduce anything like this to her.

See my other thread so you understand what I've been going through, and my character. I would never be abusive, physically or emotionally, or neglectful, or demanding and just take what I want from her. Sure I've had a lot of frustrations, but I would never lash out at her or the kids. She asked me to write out what my needs are, so I did. And she finally understood. It's looking good so far. Wish us luck.

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-marriage.html

**WildChild** · 10-30-2009, 02:37 PM

Wish you all the best in this. Hopefully it will lead to a deeper, more satisfying connection for both of you.

**Theresa** · 10-30-2009, 03:59 PM

My husband and I get along wonderfully. I am not sure when the last time we had an argument. We do things together when we can, sit and visit for hours and love to be with each other.

I also know that sex is not the most important thing in a marriage but it is necessary for a healthy relationship.

By not taking care of each other sexually is a very frustrating. It is hurts when you try so hard and get nothing in return.

Antonia · 10-31-2009, 01:19 AM

Most of your wish list can be fantasies. If whatever you stated excites you, then it is a sexual fantasy. You do have a lot!

10-30-2009, 09:15 AM	#12
caterpillar79 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: MidWest, USA Posts: 1,365 Blog Entries: 52	It's not all about sex, StillLearnin - well, at least for me. Being a woman, I realized that I can never open up sexually to my partner if my emotional needs that he needs to care care of are not met. I have been in a marriage where the husband just took what he wanted, and I felt so worthless, used, and abused. I stayed that way for 7 years, for I thought I was supposed to (that's what I was taught to be in my culture - to be submissive). But then, I made a brave move to stop it... Now, I found that special person who tries his best to reach out to me. He was able to transcend the wall I have build due to this trauma. And I am happy, that I can finally do whatever it is that we feel like doing, both our fantasies and all. Looks like it is best that you start hosting dating parties there! __________________ Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

10-30-2009, 02:37 PM	#15
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,230 Blog Entries: 5	Wish you all the best in this. Hopefully it will lead to a deeper, more satisfying connection for both of you. __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

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10-30-2009, 02:00 PM	#13
StillLearnin VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 75	I know it's not all about sex. I've been a loving, caring, and supportive boyfriend, fiance, husband and father for the past 25 years. Marriages are give and take, and I've been all give. I've tried everything in the book to get her to understand my needs, but it took some drastic measures for her to understand that I'm serious about making some changes in my relationship, one way or another.

10-30-2009, 02:14 PM	#14
StillLearnin VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 75	I'm not giving this list to her. Yet. Our marriage just reached a positive turning point a couple of weeks ago. So I'm being patient before I introduce anything like this to her. See my other thread so you understand what I've been going through, and my character. I would never be abusive, physically or emotionally, or neglectful, or demanding and just take what I want from her. Sure I've had a lot of frustrations, but I would never lash out at her or the kids. She asked me to write out what my needs are, so I did. And she finally understood. It's looking good so far. Wish us luck. http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-marriage.html

10-30-2009, 03:59 PM	#16
Theresa Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: SW ND Posts: 230	My husband and I get along wonderfully. I am not sure when the last time we had an argument. We do things together when we can, sit and visit for hours and love to be with each other. I also know that sex is not the most important thing in a marriage but it is necessary for a healthy relationship. By not taking care of each other sexually is a very frustrating. It is hurts when you try so hard and get nothing in return.

10-31-2009, 01:19 AM	#17
Antonia Banned from WH Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 25	Most of your wish list can be fantasies. If whatever you stated excites you, then it is a sexual fantasy. You do have a lot!