Sex, Frustration, and Anxiety.

Discordia's Daughter · 10-28-2009, 05:12 PM

Hello All,

I would like some suggestions, insight, advice, wisdom - I'm not picky.
Here is the situation: I'm in a very loving relationship - the only one I would insert the word love in. Mutually, we know this is a life-long partnership. He is, to me, my best friend, lover, and soul-mate (not to sound corny - I just need to explain a bit).

But, as of late, I've been sexually frustrated.

Our sex life is (was) great - there is a lot of desire and passion. Lately, however, I've been experiencing a sense of panic and anxiety when we begin. This is quite a problem - my partner is upset because, not that long ago, I was beginning to come without touching myself or masturbating, only with him stimulating my clitoris.
True, things have been stressful (what with moving back to Kingston and other nuisances).

I think I've been putting too much pressure on myself, setting my own expectations of my sexuality too high. I tend to psyche myself out. He reminds me that I am a satisfying and fantastic lover (I've made him come, on two occasions, twice - immediately after the other). Somewhere along the line...I've forgotten how to enjoy it myself, maybe, how to relax and let go.

Please, any suggestions or words of wisdom from anyone? I start to dread being intimate...fearing I'll get another panic attack. And I love him. And so, I need your help!

**blondie80** · 10-28-2009, 07:02 PM

I would suggest just doing what you say and relaxing, if you set yourself up and your expectations then your going to let yourself down its like sitting there and thinking just have an orgasm already your focusing on that so much that you can't relax and enjoy the sensations. Go for a bath or something first anything you find relaxing and it will come back in time, just try and stop worrying about it so much.

**Texasred** · 10-28-2009, 10:34 PM

I'd almost suggest you two plan a "date," where you go out, have some fun together, drink a little wine perhaps, then come home and do what comes naturally, without worrying about it - just for fun. Don't pressure yourself, just enjoy yourself.
Relax!

10-28-2009, 05:12 PM	#1
Discordia's Daughter Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Kingston, Ontario Posts: 1	Sex, Frustration, and Anxiety. Hello All, I would like some suggestions, insight, advice, wisdom - I'm not picky. Here is the situation: I'm in a very loving relationship - the only one I would insert the word love in. Mutually, we know this is a life-long partnership. He is, to me, my best friend, lover, and soul-mate (not to sound corny - I just need to explain a bit). But, as of late, I've been sexually frustrated. Our sex life is (was) great - there is a lot of desire and passion. Lately, however, I've been experiencing a sense of panic and anxiety when we begin. This is quite a problem - my partner is upset because, not that long ago, I was beginning to come without touching myself or masturbating, only with him stimulating my clitoris. True, things have been stressful (what with moving back to Kingston and other nuisances). I think I've been putting too much pressure on myself, setting my own expectations of my sexuality too high. I tend to psyche myself out. He reminds me that I am a satisfying and fantastic lover (I've made him come, on two occasions, twice - immediately after the other). Somewhere along the line...I've forgotten how to enjoy it myself, maybe, how to relax and let go. Please, any suggestions or words of wisdom from anyone? I start to dread being intimate...fearing I'll get another panic attack. And I love him. And so, I need your help!

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10-28-2009, 07:02 PM	#2
blondie80 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 119	I would suggest just doing what you say and relaxing, if you set yourself up and your expectations then your going to let yourself down its like sitting there and thinking just have an orgasm already your focusing on that so much that you can't relax and enjoy the sensations. Go for a bath or something first anything you find relaxing and it will come back in time, just try and stop worrying about it so much.

10-28-2009, 10:34 PM	#3
Texasred Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: North Texas Posts: 124	I'd almost suggest you two plan a "date," where you go out, have some fun together, drink a little wine perhaps, then come home and do what comes naturally, without worrying about it - just for fun. Don't pressure yourself, just enjoy yourself. Relax!