catherine87

Im 22 and i have a very high sex drive, im always "horny" and i would love to have sex with my partner everyday, but he only wants it once a week!!

We had a very good sex life when we first got together, we would have it 2, 3 or 4 times a day sometimes but its now fizzled down to once at the weekend (if im lucky!!) i have a child from a pevious relationship and so does my parner Ian, we have now got a 9 month old baby together. Ian is 35 so he is a bit older than me but it has never been a problem for me.

We do have good sex we enjoy trying different things, living out fantasies and watching porn and chatting with other couples, Ian has always been a huge perve so for him not to want sex more of corse makes me thiink that it's something to do with me, that im not good enough, i cant keep my hands off him i wish he would be like that with me.

So getting to the point!! I cant stand the- in my eyes- lack of sex i am getting, should i just accept that this is how my sexual relationship is or should i try and do something to decrease my sex drive?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated,
Many thanks
catherine x

LanaBear

IMO - why would you ever want to do something to DECREASE your sex drive. No way honey!!!

Have you talked to him about this, the drastic reduction in sex between the two of you? Of course you are feeling a bit put off, if it was good at a time, but not any longer, it is going to leave you with doubts.

Talk with him and find out what is going on with him? Is he masturbating, having his own solo parties, maybe that is the reason for the once a week sex. If that is the case, then obviously that needs to change.

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WildChild

Join the club we should have sub section of the sex page for missmatched sex drives!

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catherine87

Thank you for your comments, Ian will watch porn on his own when im not here to get him in the mood for as he calls it good sex!!!
This doesnt bother me, however when im out of control horny and he is not in the mood it ends with Ian sleeping on the sofa. I know this doesnt make our relationship look very good but it is fantastic we both love sex he says he is too tired at night with working early, i understand this but i wish he would take my needs into account sometimes.

Hopeless Dork

If hes watching porn to get him 'in the mood' then not using said mood on you because he's too tired, its kind of counter-productive. A wise young man on this board once told me and I agree... guy's don't watch porn to frustrate themselves.

That doesn't mean some don't watch it, to get excited then have sex with their partner... but if he's not having sex with you , I would guess he's spending up his energy.

Once a week for a 35 year old guy seems to be a bit off in the desire department. He's likely masturbating. And thats fine, just if he layed off a bit he might have more of a need for sex with you... EVEN if he's tired.

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kira

Why does he end up on the couch? Are you pushing him for sex to the point he decides to sleep elsewhere? Are you starting an argument over it? If he did that to you how much would you feel like having sex at a later date? Lots of women shut down on their partner exactly for the reason of feeling harassed, pressured, or inadequate over sex. I'm sure the same can happen for guys if there is something going on that makes them not feel like it.

This doesn't make it sound like he's masturbating... When I read that I wondered why he has to watch porn to get in the mood to have sex with you. Is he not turned on as much to have sex with his partner or could there be a physical problem here? If the only way he can have sex is to get turned on by porn something is wrong. Either with your relationship or physically with him.

I think you need to sit down and have a talk. Ask him if he is masturbating to porn or only having sex with you. Ask how he feels about the relationship and if there is anything wrong. What can you do to make him feel less tired and stress so he might be in the mood for sex? Then if it turns out his sex drive has really dropped suddenly and is not the result of masturbating often or something emotional with the relationship go talk to a doctor. His testosterone levels may be too low. It happens to some guys as they get older and can nearly eliminate any sex drive as well as lowering energy levels and mood.

nightqueen

Have you talked to him? Has something changed between you two?