Thread: help!!!! argh!!!

ok im 16 years old, yes, im legal, and i have a very serious boyfriend who i would like to have sex with. the only problem is, my hymen is too thick and is excruciating when he tries to break it! I can't go to the gynecologist because my parents would not approve and would call me a .

some one please help me!!!!

First and foremost I will give you some off subject advice, which may come off as a lecture. I suggest you don't have sex! Many people change around 18 to 20 years old and you may find that you feel differently about your boyfriend, no matter how serious your relationship is or how mature you are. I'm 19 so I speak from recent experience. However if you insist on having sex and are 100% sure that you will not regret your decision then I suggest you start off with foreplay.

Oral sex is a great way to get comfortable and relax. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your vagina is. You want as many relaxed muscles as possible. You may want to try a water-based lube (not oil-based, because that will erode the condom) to make things go more smoothly.

As for the doctor, I would suggest you approach your parents from a medical viewpoint. You can let them know that you don't think your periods are normal like they should be. You can start by saying that your menstrual cycle is either too light or too heavy, or that it comes too often or only once every few months. Anything to get them worried about your health may provoke them to let you see a doctor. After you get into the doctor's office, everything is confidential, so you can discuss what ever you'd like.

If your parents stay stubborn, then check out your local Health Department. It's very affordable through some financial aide, and they give you the same treatment as any other doctor's facility. And it's still confidential. No matter where you go, get birth control! If you don't want to admit it's for pregnancy prevention then use the next best excuse, you want to regulate your period. If you're going to be sexually active you need as much protection as possible, especially at your age (and mine too!). After things work out with your "cherry" just remember, protection, protection, PROTECTION!

Sorry it's a little long winded, but I hope I helped. Anything else I can help with just let me know!

Oh boy, here goes.

Your sixteen do not give in to your boyfriends urges. Sure it's ok to mess around however your going to regret it when he breaks up with you and moves on to the next girl. If I were you I'd appreciate what I had and not
lose my virginity. Wait until your older and can appreciate it. It makes a world of difference when your older.

Believe me all these boys with raging testosterones all they want to do is get into your pants. What do they have to lose? I did not lose my virginity until I was 21. It was something to wait for. Give him a test.
Tell him to wait. If he loves you he will. If not he only wants to get into your pants.

catlyons am I glad you posted!

Let me elaborate on what you said.

I was very athletic as a child. I used to play
on the boy's team. My friends were boys,
and I was 'one of the boys', so I heard everything,
they had to say.

They talked about girls as you'd talk about
used tampons. And because I was a good
audience, they'd give me the scene by scene,
they'd go through all the "I love you," , and
then, they'd share their 'war stories' as they
called them.

I remember a girl named Linda, I didn't like her,
she looked at me as if I had a bad odor.

I sat there and listened to Big Glen describe how
he was going to screw her, and getting advice
from Eddie and Larry and the other guys, and
then, he took her out, and they were all passing
remarks, and the next day he was going on with
everything she did.

And Little Glen said he was going try to get off
her too, and Big Glen and he worked it out, like
it was some rpg, how Mike, the face man would
make a play, and how Big Glen would break up
with her, and how Little Glen would console her,
and it worked.

Now if I never heard how boys/men talk when
they are 'alone' I might have been as stupid as
Linda. But having heard them, knowing all their
lines, when I started dating as soon as they
began to run the 'script', I was laughing and
tossing the next line.

I was a virgin until I was 22.
I got married.

I never had to fool around.
I looked good so any man would want to
take me out to impress the other guys.

I didn't even have to kiss a boy good night
to get him running behind me.

I never was insecure, I never needed a man
to confirm my existence.

I learned a man will treat you as crummy as
you allow. And if you don't allow yourself to
be used, you won't be used.

If you allow yourself to be used, they'll pass
you around like a bottle of beer.

Hahaha.. "they'll pass you around like a bottle of beer". I like that.
And it's true in most cases if you're not careful. I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex because you're so young. Yes I know, everyone's doing it, and at this point, you probably know more people who aren't virgins than people who are. But that's besides the point. Do it when you're ready. Do it when you're comfortable with him, and most importantly do it when you're comfortable with yourself. Don't do it because you think he loves you. Because most of the time, guys at a young age don't really know what the "love" is. I don't even know what "love" is. (Also, men "fall in love" quicker than women).

But if you think you're ready, and you think he's "the one", it takes a lot of women a couple tries to get it in. You may not have a thicker hymen than other girls, maybe it's just because you're too tense, or he's too big (haha). Just take it slow, relax. Get him to stick it in, then pull out, and stick it in again, over and over again untill you can get it all the way in. That's the only advice I can give you for the bedroom. I don't think it's necessary to go to a gyno.

Let's be honest...
here's this sixteen year old girl...
wanting to be screwed by a guy she
won't know next year, and someone
who, in six months won't remember
her name...

who happens to have a very thick hymen...
the kind that usually is removed by a gyn
to prevent pain and excessive bleeding...

and we are trying to sound, 'politically correct',
knowing that the only thing boyfriend is
serious about is screwing tiger so he can
tell his pals how it went.

The days of Romeo & Juliet are over...

Sweetheart if you are so afraid of your parents approval you are not emotionally ready to handle sex and the consequences of it. It changes everything. If your hymen is that thick then maybe it is a good idea to see a doctor, not only to get it checked but to talk about your options for birth control and whether you are really ready to do this. Once it is done it cannot be undone. I hope you think seriously about this and not let your hormones or his take control. We want you to abstain because we care what happens to you. don't do anything silly to try and break your hymen yourself, it can cause an infection and you don't want that. See a doctor and discuss this openly with someone you trust. I hope you think seriously about this next step in your life. Just be sure you are ready and not being pressured.

Hi just a note to say that i have to agree that you are not ready emotionally for sex and you are young I was not ready emotionally for sex and felt pressured and gave in and have regretted it ever since i am now getting a divorce cause it ruined our relationship that i let him pressure me into having sex before i was ready and you really need to talk to your mother about this she can help you in this if you let her just go with your instincts on this and perhaps the reason he is having trouble breaking the hymen is you really don't want sex right now and you do need some protection too it is not his job to provide it but yours

I lost my virginity one month before my 16th birthday with my "high school sweetheart". At the time, I thought I could handle it. I couldn't talk about it with my parents either- which should have been a sign to me, since I talked to my parents about everything else.

Now that I'm almost 30 I can look back and see that I did what I did because I wanted to "keep" my boyfriend. All the men I slept with before I got married were really just to try & get them to like me- which is not a reason to do it! The decisions I made then still effect me today.

Please, think about this before you do it. Go to Planned Parenthood (just look them up in the phonebook!) and get information. Get protection. Use it. Really think about how your life would change if you got pregnant or got an STD. Don't make a rash decision that will effect the rest of your life. Please.

Megan

Just wait, think about it how many relationships last when you are 16!! Now you may think we are all preaching to you, and you are right. We've all been what you are going through, and most of us have learned the hard way. I thought when I was 16 that I was in LOVE and I was going to marry this boy... newflash I didn't marry that guy!!! Now 6 years later I've slept with more guys than I have fingers and almost toes!! and I've had HPV!!

and because of HPV I don't have the choice to have my child natural birth or c-section- I have to have them c-section because my cervix is too thin.

And finally I have found the man I am going to marry but I feel like damaged goods from the choices I've made about sex in past. So just wait and if you are in a real serious relationship.. he'll wait and if he doesn't and he leaves, he's not worth your time.

And remember, I telling you thing cuz I've been through all a thousand time before.