"first time" question
my new girlfriend has never had sex before. we have very strong feelings for one another, and although i have offered to wait, she wants to have sex soon. i would like some advice on how to make her first exprerience comfortable at least, possibly pleasurable. this is kind of embarrassing to mention, but she is concerned because i am larger than average, and i am even not sure how this is going to work. any response would be appreciated.
I would be sure to have plenty of foreplay first to make sure she is a lubricated well. I would also be sure to enter her very slowly, and to take it very slowly at first too to make sure it hurts as minimally as possible. If it's her first time, she might be a little tense even if she doesn't mean to be so I'd say to just be patient, take it easy and be sure to tell her to let you know if anything hurts, feels good, etc.Originally Posted by hchinaski
Good luck!!
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
-Andy Rooney
It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward
Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale
Exactly! As kygirls says, take things slowy and remember its about having fun together, if it doesnt happen the first time, try again an other day. And maybe try oral sex first, that will probably relax her
Make sure to use lube, even if she is wet.
Foreplay - lots of it. Clean up both of you (hygiene is important) - maybe shower together. Try oral first if she feels comfy with it. Set aside some lube should you need it. and then do it slowly.
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
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Wet isn't enough, she should be about dripping.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Yes, I agree with WC.
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
Register! | Rules/FAQ |Contact Mod| Contact Admin
It helps to not only enter slowly, but thrusting in and out a little bit at a time helps- using her wetness gets your member wet as well, making it easier than hitting a dry spot on your member. sorry if that was confusing, but i know it helps
thanks for all the help. we do tend to engage in a lot of foreplay, and i dont expect that to change, and she does get very wet--i can feel her through her clothes. she has already had several orgasms and so i dont think that lubrication will be a problem. i have read that it may be advisable to stretch the hymen little by little with touch before penetration, and my girlfriend has suggested that maybe we should work up to it in this way. any thoughts on this? i have used touch a few times and she is verrry sensitive, so i want to be careful. her extreme sensitivity makes me think that there is no way around it being painful for her the first time. is this inevitable?
Haven't visited this site in weeks but i am still somewhat concerned about this issue. My girlfriend has no experience with sex before me, and i am going very slow with her.
Every time we are together, she is essentially experiencing something brand new. it is fun for me, and i dont mind being patient, even though i sometimes feel like i am going crazy when we get to a certain point and cant finish.
We dont get to see each other that much, so our progress is slow. we havent gotten to penetration yet because we are both worried about it hurting her. lubrication is never an issue as she gets very excited, but her vaginal opening is very small. i can only fit my finger in--and i can only do that in a way that is comfortable for her from one angle.
I have been slowly inserting my penis up to a point in an effort to get her more comfortable, and have been trying other ways to stretch her hymen so that it wont break and cause her pain.
We are both enjoying things as they progress, but i still wonder how it is ever going to work without breaking the hymen. i have tried to broach the subject of just doing it and getting it over with so she can start to enjoy it, but even i didnt like the way that it sounded. Any advice?
I guess, my worry is that it is not possible for her to stretch enough for me to fit, no matter how much we work at it.
Last edited by caterpillar79; 12-08-2009 at 06:21 PM. Reason: paragraphing for better readability
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