One night stand questions....

**Britth89** · 11-25-2009 07:20 PM

So I had my first one night stand last Saturday. It was a lot of fun while it lasted. And I promised myself I would have no regrets and no looking back and whatever else but now I am flipping out! I feel like a ho! It makes me sick just thinking about it at all. I mean I know that if I didn't do it I would have "shoulda-woulda-coulda" myself about it forever. So I did. And I was all happy about it till yesterday when I told my friend about it and sh was telling how she would never because there r so many diseases out there and this this and that. And don't go back there looking for that same experiance. Ugh. And now I feel like a ho!

have you ever had a one night stand? And if so how did you react to it?
Also I knew it would be a one night stand because I live in a different state and neither of us are moving and also I was going home on Sunday. So yeah it was very known that it was just the one night thing.
And yes we did use a condom!

**Mes T** · 11-25-2009 07:41 PM

If you used a condom then what's the worry about diseases?

I haven't had QUITE a one night stand, since I knew the guys a little bit beforehand, but whatever, it was close enough.

Your friend is allowed to have a different view point on things, but that doesn't mean that YOU should change how YOU feel about one night stands. Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with them. Sex is natural, and sometimes we just need a booty call. STDs can be a big problem though, but since you're a condom user, then that concern is pretty much out the window!

Be happy, be sexual, be safe, and ENJOY.

**princess88** · 11-25-2009 08:07 PM

personally i wouldn't do it but that is totally okay that you did a loot of people i know do.. your not a ho cuz its your first time and you seriously regret it lol annd you wore a condom. Just think of it like one of those once in a life time things... you had a good time and you dont have a disease. Trust me a lot of people do it.

**Texinator** · 11-25-2009 08:35 PM

Originally Posted by Britth89

And I was all happy about it till yesterday when I told my friend about it and sh was telling how she would never because there r so many diseases out there and this this and that. And don't go back there looking for that same experiance. Ugh. And now I feel like a ho!

You were happy with it, that's all that matters. Just cause your friend doesn't like one night stands doesn't mean you suddenly have to feel bad about yours.

I ain't ever had one and I don't think I ever will but it's your body and you're free to do with it as you please. You were careful and used a condom.. I don't see a problem.

**rcoreyus** · 11-25-2009 10:30 PM

If you enjoyed it (and it sounds like you did) mark it down as a nice memory. Just remember the old adage "its not the things you do that you regret, its the things you don't do". You only get one chance at life - enjoy it.

**Hopeless Dork** · 11-25-2009 10:34 PM

Don't let how your friend feels about sex to make YOU feel bad for something that wouldn't make you feel bad otherwise....

What I mean is, you're a grown up (I assume) and made a choice, you enjoyed it and saw it for it was AHEAD of time and were okay with that...

It wasn't until your friend put her 2 cents in did you feel bad, if you agree with her point of view then let that impact your future choices but don't let it make you feel regretful now over what happened. Theres no point in that.

All life is about is lessons, we are learning something all the time, some good stuff, some bad stuff, some stuff we don't like to remember, some stuff we cherish the memories of... but beating yourself up over something you can't change is pointless.

In my late teens I did the one night stand thing... and it wasn't for me. Turns out I don't enjoy sex without emotional connection, but I don't beat myself up over choices I made before I realized that... it was all apart of what brought me to the point of figuring it all out

You'll figure it all out too... and then everything you know will change and you'll have to figure it all out again but thats life....

Learn from your experiences, decide for yourself which ones to seek and to avoid and don't feel like a ho for doing something that made you happy and didn't hurt anyone.

**Danae** · 11-25-2009 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Mes_T

STDs can be a big problem though, but since you're a condom user, then that concern is pretty much out the window!

I just want to mention that a concern for STDs should still be in place EVEN if wearing a condom. Condoms REDUCE the chance of some STDs, NOT eliminate them.

I believe sex is meant for something much bigger than one night stands. It's okay that you had one, but I feel regret typically will follow each one. It may depend more on the individual, but that has been my experience.

**Mes T** · 11-25-2009 10:41 PM

That's a good point, thanks for making the clarification!

As for what sex is and isn't, yeah, that REALLY varies between individuals. A lot of my friends and I don't put a lot of meaning to the actual act, whereas other people do. I don't think either POV is objectively right or wrong.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-26-2009 04:51 AM

Interesting how the woman feel, and how the men feel.

Let's now go with "age", experience...

I have "huge" morals and that has actually taught me alot about, well, self taught sexual experiences which I can state, were amazing, without a man.

But as I have matured, I've realized, we live one life, and one life only.. If something is mutual, then go and do it...

It brings out the sexual deviate in you, nothing wrong with that at all.. It's an experience, it's what you "wanted" at that time and it's ok.

Let's face it, men do it all the time, aim at the "prize" win, and move on to the next one. That's why you feel like a "ho"... Your doing a manly thing, or are you?

If your morals are usually good, you understand, that you won't and don't want to be used, and that "intimacy" is reserved for a loving partner, but on that odd occasion you want "raw passion" , "sex", "lust" being, and want to be in control, so be it.

Women are "gossipers" and so, they tell the world, wow, this was wicked, I loved it and then the woman being "moralistic" say, STD, STI, etc, (but you used a Condom), or they frown on you because they are moralistic.

Sometimes, your indiscretions, spur of the moment adventures, need to be kept to yourself, because people don't understand, they see it how they see it, not how you felt it and saw it.

If you said, "you felt like a ho" after you did it personally, that's different... But, it's because someone told you it was wrong.

Nothing we do in life is wrong. It's a learning curb, and it's experience and so, we learn from it, be it how to be horny and alive, and be, or be it, that wasn't what I expected and I didn't feel right.

What ever the feeling, it's a learning curb.

Be you.

Always be you.

I am very moralistic but the inner little child has to come out every now and then and say, if you can, I can, but understand, I am in control... It is what I wanted at that time, with that person and that was it...

Watch they don't pester you for a second though and always ensure they are not someone whom is going to give you a bad name, so he knows her, who knows him...

I just think we should be ourselves, but also establish before the consequences, and it's a need to know basis, not a gossip tell and all book..

It may also be noted, that those whom know me, since i joined, know I was celebrant, for 18 months, after my separation, I generally don't believe in one night stands, but I am now very much at peace with myself of whom I am , love whom I am, respect whom I am, and will have a one night stand if that is what I WANT.

Lets face it we aren't all fortunate to end in a relationship, having waiting a while before sex, only to still find that it didn't work and so we move on.. Should we feel guilty about that too?

CW

**Britth89** · 11-26-2009 10:34 PM

Wow you all are so right. I shouldn't let what my friend said to me bother me. It's my life and my body. I should be able to feel the way I want about what I do with it. So thank you all for making me feel better! I really appreciate it!