1st time having sex

**110109** · 11-29-2009 11:06 PM

0k well i have n0 one i can talk to about this so i was hping someone can tell me if its normal for it to hurt the first couple of times? My boyfirend and I tried this weekend a few times and he wasn't able to finish at all because i would stop him when it would hurt. I thought getting it in was the worst part but when he got going it just hurt and felt so uncomfortable. We tried some different positions to see if it would be better for me but couldn't. When i would find a position that was good for me and didn't hurt as much it was working for me and his position hurt me too much. I felt bad that I couldn't go through with it. After a few tries yesterday and today I'm just frustrated because i felt like i was killing the mood even though my boyfirend assured me i wasn't and that it was ok. I just want to know if its going to last long or if its even normal to have it be too painful to go through?

**spazalrina16** · 11-29-2009 11:12 PM

my first couple of times it hurt. one good rule is to relax. if your are tense, it will hurt. just relax and dont feel ashamed if you need to stop. its not fun for you if it hurts. good luck!

**dieseltech24** · 11-29-2009 11:19 PM

ok.. well its like this, im a guy so i know about it. Unless this dude ur with is having some mental problems he isnt enjoying it if ur not... and its not good to make yourself do it just for him to get his... thts not what sex is about. What me and my old girlfriend used to do(because she had the same problem) was to start out with an immense amount of foreplay... if you catch my drift.. get it looser... relax.. make sure its not dry sex also.. cause that will cause it to hurt..

hope i helped...

**LanaBear** · 11-30-2009 12:14 AM

Try to relax more, yes, I know easier said than done when you are anticipating pain... Go for more foreplay, you need to get good and worked up. For women, foreplay increases blood flow to the vagina and clitoris which helps produce natural lubrication from the vaginal walls.

You may also benefit from having a small bottle of lube in case you need further assistance. The first couple of times, the slicker you are, the better off you will be.

And practice makes perfect.

**Mes T** · 11-30-2009 12:30 AM

I'd recommend exploring yourself with your fingers there, a LOT, beforehand, so you get at least some idea of what it will feel like! Trust me, it'll help. Some women expect men to put their fingers and penises there but won't do so themselves, which is very backwards thinking in my opinion.

By doing this, you'll also get to see if you have a hymen at all. You'll gain a lot of information.

For the record, my first time was like.. "... Ohh.. really? Really?" It didn't hurt at ALL, and it wasn't all that pleasurable either.

It took some practice.

**kira** · 11-30-2009 12:48 AM

Try making things a little more slippery. Being more aroused would be ideal but when you're new at it that can be difficult so grab a bottle of lube. Make sure it's safe for condoms (water based) if you are using condoms. Other lubes may last longer and make things even slicker but also may dissolve condoms. I had a bottle of I don't remember what lube spill in a drawer and it dissolved not only condoms but other inexpensive vibrators and rings. Gotta make sure you know what mixes and what doesn't when you are buying lube or just get water based and you'll be safe no matter what.

**x.st.angel.x** · 11-30-2009 03:09 AM

Its normal to for it to hurt the first couple of times, if the pain is unbearable try using some lube. If thats out the question then try relax as much as possible

Good luck!

**Reena_Smart** · 11-30-2009 09:50 AM

It is normal, since you might have strees.. So I recommend you to relax and try to enjoy it, stop thinking of anyone, just you and your boyfriend.
Relax is the most important, after trust, which I think you should have

**reilu** · 11-30-2009 02:19 PM

lol yes it completely normal!! I don't know of any girl who it wasn't uncomfortable for. It could be lots of reasons, and combinations. Your tight, he's really big, he's really big AND your tight, you aren't turned on enough because of fears anxieties selfconsiouness etc etc so you aren't wet enough. They say the first five times of having sex with someone you arent usually very good, cuz your just getting to know their bodies. My friend told me she took ibuprofen before she had sex for the second time ever, and she claims that helped. IDK but hang in there

**110109** · 11-30-2009 02:53 PM

Man i can't tell you guys how much i love this website.Im so happy that i found this because i really felt so lost and had no one to ask. I just really didn't expect it to hurt so much. I thought that after the first time then it was all good but we couldn't even finish any of the times. We must have tried like 6 times! I mean we did the foreplay and we were both ready but once he started going it hurt so bad. After a the first two times it didn't hurt when he went in but when he would push. I felt like throwing up and started to get cramps.lol.i know it sounds crazy.and the position that was most comfortable for me was just missionary, very slow but he couldn't get in to it and the position he liked hurt like . He kept lifting my legs up and the pain was so much worse that i would instantly lose the mood and tighten up. It was just a mess. Nothing like I pictured. I felt so embarrassed and bad. I know he was expecting it to be great like i was and it was so frustrating for me that I just told him I didn't want to try anymore because it was getting me frustrated and self conscious. I kept having to stop him and he told me he wasn't even fully in me yet and i just freaked out because it already hurt like . After a few times I just felt bad in a way that I couldn't just take the pain and that I kept leaving him hanging and unsatisfied. It was just overwhelming.