Thread: Hot mess- need your input

Originally Posted by c.chandler

I appreciate it. That's what I was thinking. But 5 years, man. Coming up on 6! That's a LONG time to be with someone. I've invested a lot into this. We know each other so well and he really is my best friend and I am his. He's just...I dunno. Not willing to committ. When I found out about the other girl, he lost it. Promised to marry me by this month. Then backed out of it due to me still being untrusting and constantly nagging and questioning him. He said he's paying on a ring that's ready in March. I think he's a LIAR. It's like he can't help it.

UUUGH. Relationships suck. Maybe I should just go out and have some fun.

A few points:

A previous partner invested 18 years and 3 children in a guy who from the outset was clearly a liability (he didn't even tell his parents he we a father for two years) eventually she worked out that he was not the one.

I invested $100k in a company called 'happy ever after' i lost $50k so I put another $100 convinced it just needed a bit more. I lost another $50k so I put in another $500k. I have now 'invested' $700k would you 'invest' any more of you money in this 'happy ever after'

If you're not having fun now, when are you going to have some. Life is short enjoy it

cc-

You are young and open to learning (evinced by posting on here). As other here have stated so well (as the norm), life is too short. Go and have fun. Relationships don't have to suck. Have a great time but move along quickly. Don't get sucked into another long dead-end relationship. I believe that it shouldn't take more than 3 or 4 months to know if they are the right one for you. If you don't 'feel the love' then move on.

Also, I think that the one often will appear where or when you least expect it. Don't beat yourself up try to find prince charming but do remember you have to be proactive in the venture.

Sexuality: be open to new things. Relax and have fun. Personally, I have been with both; women that love oral and women that don't. It's not that big of a deal. There are plenty of other things to do/try that you might just like. Having a strong, health emotional should lead to a much better sex life.

best wishes!

Originally Posted by c.chandler

Problem solved.

Well, part of it anyway.

I see you having a lot of the same problems with whomever you date next, until you sort out your feelings about sex.

Red, I'm pretty sure my sexual issues stem from my distrust for him. Have you ever had sex with someone you thought was just using you? I do not recommend it. Sometimes its good when I can shut out those feelings but more often than not, I have them and that's what's causing me to be all uptight and uncomfortable.