I'm madly in love with him, yet, I have absolutely no sex drive...whatsoever.

**asiangrace** · 12-15-2009 04:58 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We are madly in love and I still get butterflies every time I see him. He's so hot... 6 ft, 185 lbs, athletic, dark hair, dark eyes, Italian descent. I love everything about him.
Here's the problem...I have no sex drive. It's not that I don't desire sex from him. He's good at what he does, but I would be content if we never had sex (of course, I have sex with him to please him and I like making him happy)

I even thought that I wouldn't mind him having sex with another girl so I wouldn't have to. (Though I know we'd both never really allow that!)

I don't find myself comparing him to anybody sexually. I just don't have a desire for sex. Period.

Is there something wrong with me?

Nothing turns me on!!

**Mes T** · 12-15-2009 05:20 PM

Is he any good in bed? Has he brought you to orgasm?

A lot of women who don't have sex don't like it simply because their partner doesn't make it pleasurable enough for them!

That's the simplest answer. There could also be something medically wrong, or you just naturally have a low drive. Been to a doc?

**LanaBear** · 12-15-2009 05:29 PM

Are you viewing sex as something you HAVE to do? Is it a chore to you?

You say he is good at what he does... but that doesn't turn you on, correct?

Have you tried being sensual with him without actually going through the whole act of sex? If sex isn't expected, do you feel you would enjoy it more? When your boyfriend wants to get intimate, what goes through your head?

What about steamy scenes in movies or books... Do you feel anything from them?

A lot of questions, I know, but maybe we could help and give you ideas...

As Mes said above, maybe going to the Dr too. Check your testosterone levels...

**rcoreyus** · 12-15-2009 05:51 PM

Do you enjoy sex while you are having it, and just don't feel like it until it is happening, or do you not enjoy it at all?

**caterpillar79** · 12-15-2009 05:53 PM

Was there any time in your life before him or being with him now, that you've ever had the drive at least once?

**Mes T** · 12-15-2009 06:13 PM

Wait a sec, now that I look at your username, I vaguely recall a thread you started about being very dry or something during sex and it was even painful...? I think a lot of the responses to that thread were similar to this one, have they helped at all?

**asiangrace** · 12-15-2009 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by Mes_T

Is he any good in bed? Has he brought you to orgasm?

A lot of women who don't have sex don't like it simply because their partner doesn't make it pleasurable enough for them!

That's the simplest answer. There could also be something medically wrong, or you just naturally have a low drive. Been to a doc?

I always thought that maybe something was medically wrong. I haven't been in a lot of relationships. Two serious ones, and one casual one. None of them did I crave to have sex with, yet, we had great chemistry. Just no desire to have intercourse.
Sex does feel okay when we're doing it and he makes me feel good, but he has never been able to bring me to orgasm without the aid of a vibrator.

**asiangrace** · 12-15-2009 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by caterpillar79

Was there any time in your life before him or being with him now, that you've ever had the drive at least once?

In my last serious relationship, I felt like was able to be turned on a little more by him. We did everything else except intercourse. But even then, I had no desire to have sex with him.

**asiangrace** · 12-15-2009 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Do you enjoy sex while you are having it, and just don't feel like it until it is happening, or do you not enjoy it at all?

I start enjoying it about 3/4 of the way through some of the times. But most of the times, I find myself just wishing it was done. You know how some women are frustrated that their man come too soon? I am the opposite. The sooner for me, the better. Sex, for me, is really just to make him happy. Don't get me wrong, I definitely do not resent that or hold it against him. I just wish it was more fun for me!

**asiangrace** · 12-15-2009 09:17 PM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

Are you viewing sex as something you HAVE to do? Is it a chore to you?

You say he is good at what he does... but that doesn't turn you on, correct?

Have you tried being sensual with him without actually going through the whole act of sex? If sex isn't expected, do you feel you would enjoy it more? When your boyfriend wants to get intimate, what goes through your head?

What about steamy scenes in movies or books... Do you feel anything from them?

A lot of questions, I know, but maybe we could help and give you ideas...

As Mes said above, maybe going to the Dr too. Check your testosterone levels...

Yeah, I hate to admit that sex is really a routine chore for me. For real, I'd rather do dishes than have sex any day. He makes me feel good and he tries so hard. He doesn't know that I have no desire to have intercourse. I don't want to make him feel bad!!

When my boyfriend wants to get intimate, it makes me feel good and special.

When I watch steamy movies, I feel more like "I wish I had that desire!". And I can get turned on by them, but not in a way where I want to jump in to intercourse with my boyfriend.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. The more I answer these questions, the more I feel like there is defintiely something wrong or abnormal about me.

Is it normal for a woman to have almost 100% no sex drive?