Oral performance
My boyfriend performs oral on me, but he knows that I hate giving head. There is just something about it that makes me cringe. I feel terrible for not returning the favor because he does it almost everytime we get intimate. I'm starting to feel guilty and obligated to do it back, should I?
Welcome to the forum. We've had at least half a dozen threads on this, one fairly recent. Why don't you do a page search and see what has been said about this? Some of our regular posters may feel that the subject has been exhausted.
You will also find far more threads on giving bjs than any discussion on oral for women.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I think a common view is that you shouldn't do things you don't want to do, but that it is worth really trying. It matters a lot to some men, not at all to others.
If the two of you have talked about it and he is ok with the situation, then I would say let things be. However if I is frustrated about it, I could certainly understand as to why, but sex, and all related acts should be acts of decision, not of obligation.
If you've had a bad experience I could understand your aprehension with it, otherwise you may wish to simply try it. Have him shower up beforehand to help with the "ew gross" state of mind and just start small. As WC mentioned, there are several threads with some great advice in the "how to" dept.
I never had a problem with it in past relationships. It's not the ew gross factor it's just I can't stand doing it anymore. He knows but I feel bad for not being able to return the favor. I know how to do it, wouldn't say I'm an expert I just don't know if I should cross my own boundaries with him. He says he has no problem with me not doing it, but then again he jokes with me and his guy friends about how I don't give him head.
What is the reason, REAL REASON on why you don't like doing it anymore? Do you feel degraded? Did someone in the past make you feel degraded? I feel like there is something underlying that is stopping you.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
My first boyfriend wanted me to do it all the time he was a real jackass and I don't even know why I did things for him. But everytime I would tell him no, he would in some way everytime con me into doing it. Thats the only reason I can think of that would make me not want to do it
Have you discussed this with your current boyfriend? I mean about the jackass. Not the situation as a whole because from what I understand, you have.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
Yes he does know about it and he says he understands compleltey but I don't think that's the case.
Honestly, I bet that he does understand. Don't confuse not understanding with the fact that he would still like to receive oral from you. Understanding your situation isn't going to make him want it any less, I don't think. He is a man and men enjoy oral sex. That's just life. I don't think that you have anything to worry about. Besides, this could possibly be something that you get over some day.
"All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."
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