Thread: help, i'm just not good in bed

hmm...where to start.... i want you guys to picure a nice painted wall... yh, i'm like that... emotionless.. dead, a stiff board and i just dont no what to do about it. i'm one of thse people who dont talk about their problems but cover it up and whats worse is i turn it into a joke, i'm in so much emotional pain that i'm laughing. it's reached a point were we'r tired of this no spark. to be honest, the only time we had fun was when we'd be sneaking around to see each other and even than we never got anywhere in terms of sex.. lool we had serious issues too embaressed to say.

i'm 22, he's my first, been married 5 yrs (yup 17 year old) and still in love. i've had this problem through out my marriage. its like i want to but when we get down to it i shut down so poor guy i'd be like by the end of it "well done, you did great"

for myself, i dont think i can really enjoy it till i'm happy with myself caz honestly i hate my body, my 34JJ's make me depressed, the streach marks from the weight gain when my pcos went bad is horrid not to mention sooo much unwanted hair to a point i have to put in capitals feeeMALE.i hate my size 14-16 and wish i was my 10-12. it's strange that i'm always being told how beautiful i am and always have guys after me and i know i'm beautiful yet feel soo ugly caz i know it's just a face...take the face away and than what.

so yeah.. i'm hopeless but what i really want advice on is how i can please him. ask me to be creative and decorate a house and i'll have u saying wow but ask me to be creative in bed an u'll be waiting 5 yrs. i've thought of blind folding...but have noooo idea what comes after that.how we have managed to produce a son i have no idea. i've thought of dress up.... have no idea what i do nxt. got toys.. yh it ended when it started. got a vibrator for myself thinking maybe if i tried on myself there might be a glimer of hope... aaa..no. he tried it on me... yh the wall came back. it was just too weird.

now i no what ur gonna say "talk to him" he's a goody2shoe, like the perfect husband and dad but boy we suck when it comes to that and what makes it worse is i feel shy to talk to him and even if i do.. he's just as bad as me.. he doesn't no what to do as well, i dont want to hurt his feelings eventhough he knows he sucks and he's to shy to research, he just wont.

dudes...duddets.. what do i do. i dont like to be seen without clothes i dont no how to do a strip tease. i dont no where to touch ..... i've humiliated myself enough lol

good night

your friend
stiff board aka brick wall

why dont you both try some kind of sex therapy?
im sure they would help you emotionally aswell as ideas in the bedroom cos i think emotionally is what you need more help with ie confidence etc.
find out where it stems from with help and you wont recognise yourselves!

thanx babe, i'ma look into that

Sounds like both of you need a big shot of confidence. I understand that the side effects of the PCOS can mess with your self esteem, but both of you need to learn how to communicate with each other, about sex, about issues, and so forth. Are you gonna laugh at him? No. Is he gonna laugh at you? No. So why the shyness? You love each other and you're married.. the other person is the one you're supposed to be able to trust more than anyone else.

Once things are better with the self consciousness, you two can experiment more and figure out what you like sexually. You can have some fun 'play time' this way.

It's possible to have lots of extra weight, lots of extra hair, stretchmarks, and so forth, and still be very sexy.. especially if you think of yourself as sexy and project yourself to others as sexy. It's your attitude that matters most.