Maybe the best description is that she enjoys the orgasm, but doesn't like the sex that gets there. BTW I have tried a very wide variety of things in bed to find something she likes.
Originally Posted by Texasred
Sounds like she doesn't particularly like the sex act, and just wants to get it over with as quickly as possible?
This scenario sounds familiar to me!
Hey they sound familiar! I can add 'we need to tidy the house before (insert some visitors) come' or 'the kids are awake' or 'tomorrow night (which doesn't happen)'.
In short - on the priority list it's bottom. It's not always like that just most of the time for us.
Last edited by nostromo; 01-12-2010 at 09:50 PM.
I'm inclined to ask, "Are we married to the same woman?"
LOL!
I've asked my dw, and that is in fact the answer she gave me: she's not interested in sex, but she "likes it ok once I do talk her into it"
BFD
I've gotten tired of that attitude.
This sound like a variation on the forced sex fantasy theme. Supposedly it allows the woman to disassociate from responsiblity for liking sex, thereby continuing to be "good" because they don't want sex. That way they can enjoy it but aren't guilty of wanting it.
I don't understand this thinking but apparently it's behind the purported popularity of rape fantasies.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Well actually there are times I don't feel like sex on my own but tell my husband he can do things to convince me of it. Occasionally I go look at porn or read stories to get me more in the mood because I know he will want to. It's not that it sounds like a bad idea my sex drive just got switched off for some reason and has to be turned back on before I can get aroused irregardless of my feelings for someone. With some previous boyfriends though where things were not going well that was all the time. I never felt like it on my own. For 2 years I never felt like it without something to make me interested. This relationship is actually a huge difference since sex drive off is about 1 week out of every 2 months and sex drive set to maximum is about 5 weeks out of every 2 months. I did have a very high sex drive before getting in to bad relationships though. There could be some people who are that way naturally so even if things are good it's like that.
That would explain why she's so tired all the time
Maybe. We did play with bondage for a while (years ago and at her suggestion after some hints from me) and she seemed to enjoy it. But this is a tricky game with someone who doesn't communicate. One time (not after any particular session), she let me know that "some of the things you are doing really make me feel like I'm being forced". Then she wouldn't tell me what (I asked as nicely as I could). So that ended our bondage games. (and made me feel really terrible as well).
It is interesting (and a problem) that discomfort makes her orgasm faster. (discovered when I found that being rough gave her a fast orgasm, but she complained later that it was uncomfortable - again not enough communication for me to do anything about it except just be gentle).
I'm pretty sure she doesn't want me to be more forceful in initiating sex - when I tend at all in that direction she gets angry. Always a minefield though - she won't tell me what she wants, just gets unhappy if I stray into something she doesn't like.
Yes - we need to communicate more, but she isn't interested .
Hi I'm back! It's really good to see lots of responses.Thanks dude. Long foreplay works, but sometimes I sleep off after the FP coz I'm also tired! anyway I'll definitely make use all of your suggestions and the good news is that she seems to get back the urge.
Thanks
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