I went through this with my wife and I have trouble with idea of her having sex with anyone if I'm not there. It feels too much like cheating and I'm not comfortable with it. On ther other hand, I want her to enjoy her sexuality.
We have compromised by finding her female partners who don't mind me being present. Sometimes I participate and sometimes I don't but we share the experience together. Oftentimes the new partner brings baggage too and it can end up being a couple swap. It's made our relationship better. I enjoy watching her enjoy somebody else and she enjoys watching me enjoying somebody else.
You are on some uncharted territory here and you two need to do a lot of talking about what you are both comfortable doing, playing together, playing apart, and what is ok and what is not.
You say you are sexually attracted to this woman and if that's all it is, there are many other women you will be attracted to as well. Find one of them who doesn't mind your husband watching or participating if he's up for that. There are tons of these women out there, but most will be toting their husbands along. You'll likely have to accept that part, they have.




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