Thread: I Need Some Fun Ideas. To Shock Hiim.

The boyfriend is coming back from deployment training and we've been talkin bout what we'll be doin

I wanna make thiis very exciting. I need ideas what we should do.
I've looked up new positions, but even when I kno I'm rockin hiim he's quiet.

I want to some how make hiim atleast utter some sound. Lol.

Haha. He wants me to put(shave) hiis intials down there..I tried before but its hard. I dont have a trimmer so yup hard..Lol..

I just need fun ideas. I want to get a bit of a shock and make some sound. Lol.

Thank you.

Here's a fun idea that may give you surprising results. I wish I could take credit for it but somebody here suggested it months ago to couples trying to spice things up.

Do a search for bdsm checklist. Find one that ranks sexual activities (like from: 'that's totally gross, no way' to 'OMG I love it when you do that, please don't stop'). It's very important that you can rank the activity to measure the level of interest.

I found one where you can take the test and email your answers to to your SO. Make him take it too before he gets back. For this to work, you both must be naughtily honest. Then go over the answers and see how you both ranked stuff. This was a real eyeopener for us.

I was like, I didn't know you liked that and she was like, well, you never asked, you like that too?

I was so naive when I took this test. There are things out there people are doing that I didn't even know existed! You will learn the definition of freaky sex.

Anyway, find an activity you haven't done before that looks fun to you AND he says will rock his world. Then give him a special homecoming. Good luck!

If you want him to be more vocal, I think you're going to have to tell him. I think some people are just really quite during sex. My bf used to be totally silent until I asked him what was up. He said he was just self conscious about it and afraid my neighbors would hear, etc. I told him that it's better for me if I have an idea of whether or not he's enjoying it. Since I brought it up it's gotten a lot better.

Some spirited costume-roleplaying (cosplay) will ensure a good time (and your antics will become legend among the troops after repeated elaborations during long days of starring at the desert). Most costumes and toys mentioned can be purchased at a well-stocked adult novelty store, or online.

1st night: After all that military training he'll probably need a full physical to ensure he's ready for duty. Luckily for him Nurse Naughty (That'd be you with a white rubber nurse costume) is there to help. Test for nerve damage with a blindfold, some ice cubes, and a wartenberg wheel (it looks like small pizza-cutter). Followed-up with a relaxing massage and finish with a prostate-massage/ BJ combo.

2nd night: It seems Nurse Naughty had a run-in with a patient who got a little over-excited last night. So tonight expect a visit from Detective Badcop (handcuffs, badge, squirtgun filled with Astroglide). Interrogating the suspect about his sex crimes will be easy with your polygraph machine (Its really just a collander strapped to his head and a vibrating bullet/egg electrical-taped around his scrotum.) Write 'LIE' in really large font on a notebook computer and turn the computer around to face him everytime you think he isn't telling the whole truth. Be sure to record the interrogation session with a cellphone or videocamera (You can send him the video while he's overseas. Feel free to threaten him with "more questions" when he gets back if he's enjoying himself). Be sure to end the session with a "standard body cavity search" (you may want to buy a box of latex gloves.... or invest in a strap-on).

3rd night: After the nurse and the detective your BF is gonna say he's tuckered-out. Since you both need to 'work early' you two head-off to bed after dinner. BF sneaks out of bed twenty minutes later to "finish-up some work" (see a prostitute). While he's warming-up the car slap on your skankiest clothes (stained denim miniskirt, torn fishnets, black bra no shirt, motorcycle jacket, way too much makeup) and BF can pick-up Hooker with a Heart of Gold in a dark alley (back of the house). If you're adventuresome you can drive anywhere else and have sex in the car, or you can rent a room at the sleaziest motel in town (or if you're really daring you can give him a hummer in the park after dark... but I'm not paying your "lewd behaviour" fine if you get caught.) Make sure he pays first, Monopoly money is acceptable to your pimp.

4th night (optional): If your BF is really kinky he can visit the dungeon of Mistress Spankenstein (location: your basement). Japanese rope bondage (very inexpensive and a lot easier to do than it looks), watersports, riding crop.... The possibilities are endless, just experiment with things you found when you Googled 'BDSM checklist'. Just remember that a professional dominatrix never has sex with her clients, so he'll have to finish the job himself at the end whilst doing something humiliating (foot worship is pretty common, feel free to make something up). Be sure to record the performance with the videocamera again.... It will make hilarious and sexy watching when you bring it out every year on Valentine's Day.

If after 4 days of this his junk doesn't break off you'll personally raise the bar, not just for sex, but for most professionally produced porn films.

Taser him at the critical moment?

Or hide a friend in the bed?

Shaved, Pierced and Crotchless

Search lola luna underwear

Originally Posted by nostromo

Taser him at the critical moment?


Or hide a friend in the bed?

Taser: A little too shocking and likely to subdue his mood for a while. However, could make for some good ambulance sex later.

Friend in the bed: Superduper idea, but requires a lot of up front discussions and rule making so nobody gets hurt feelings.

Play with his fantasies (if you know them).

Meet him at the door wearing nothing but a bow and a card that says you are a gift from (your name) and he should do whatever he wants with you.

Or give him an instruction manual for his new sex-bot (you). Press #1 to get a kiss, Press #2 to....Leave a few numbers listed as "undocumented"

Or, wear leather and carry a whip. (if you think he likes that sort of play) .

Or - tie him to the bed and tease him mercilessly - bring him to the edge, then stop several times before finishing him.

Or.....

Originally Posted by skipper

Taser: A little too shocking and likely to subdue his mood for a while. However, could make for some good ambulance sex later.

Friend in the bed: Superduper idea, but requires a lot of up front discussions and rule making so nobody gets hurt feelings.

True but he would make some noise..you'd think!
OT a bit but I was watching a doco about selective mute kids last night (i.e. kids who are capable of speech and know how to use language but can't talk in most situations). Theres been cases of kids with this condition breaking limbs and not making so much as a whimper.

I'm a fan of a vocal male as well but have to say that they are a rarity in my experience. I'm not sure why this is, especially when men get very turned on by a vocal partner. I don't think it's something you can 'make' them do, it's gotta cum naturally (pardon the pun). HOpefully if you can really surprise him with something it may release his inner 'screamer'.

A few things I have done for my man :

1. When he came home I took his hand, told him to be quiet and take his clothes off. i then tied him to a chair, put on my favourite sexy tune (Put a spell on you by Credence) an did a slow strip for him making sure there was lots of me touching him in the process and he was unable to touch back. Untie him when you think he can't take any more

2. When you know he's coming home aftre dark one night be waiting for him on the bed dressed in your favourite sexy lingerie (maybe with some long gloves added and definitely with some stilletos). Also be wearing a blindfold and be touching yourself when he comes into the room. When we did this the blindfold stayed on and he got into the 'act' by not saying a word thru the whole thing. Verry hot.

3. Cook dinner for him in a sexy 'maids' outfit with a g-string or preferably no panties and a short skirt. Make sure it's a two course meal so you have plenty of time to drive him nuts watching you. Don't let him touch you but tell him he can have you as 'dessert'. Bet you don't even make it to the bedroom after dinner.

I'm not sure if any of these will give you the vocal response you're seeking but I reckon your chances are better the more you can tease and surprise him.