Thread: too hot to handle- high sex drive

you missed one option, agree to an open relationship.

now before get flamed or jumped on, i do not necessarily agree with them, believe that they are hard to have without having all sorts of issues, and can end up causing a split instead of doing what they are "supposed to be". but it still is an option.

I have often wondered if with many couples where one has a high drive, and the other a low drive, if the person with the low drive would really be that upset or bothered with an open relationship as long as they knew the marriage would last.

I think he's got intimacy issues. He doesn't have to worry about emotional attachment when he's masturbating to porn, but he does have to when he's having sex with his wife. But if he's afraid of getting too close emotionally then sex isn't the only problem area cause it'll extend into the rest of the relationship.

I don't want to cause any problems, but from what I know, when a man turns down sex something is seriously wrong here. Either he isn't confident he can satisfy you (you are WAY too much for him) or his needs are being met elsewhere. You need to find out why. Or just try crazy out of the blue things to see if they get his attention (aka grab his package while he's driving, hop in the shower with him, randomly let him "catch" you naked, etc) If those things never get him going it is possible that someone else could be stealing his sexual attention from you, or he has psychological or hormonal issues that he needs to see a doctor or shrink about.

I did forget that one. It should work very well. The problem is that the person who doesn't want sex often doesn't think its a problem - and won't see any reason to open the relationship. Imagine the question "What, I'm not enough for you???"

The truthful answer of "no", however nicely put will likely lead to tears and a "go do whatever you want then".

Originally Posted by sperosi

you missed one option, agree to an open relationship.

now before get flamed or jumped on, i do not necessarily agree with them, believe that they are hard to have without having all sorts of issues, and can end up causing a split instead of doing what they are "supposed to be". but it still is an option.

I have often wondered if with many couples where one has a high drive, and the other a low drive, if the person with the low drive would really be that upset or bothered with an open relationship as long as they knew the marriage would last.

Your problem is all-too-common, and as long as you don't have children, you have no reason to live any more of your life like this.
Give him an ultimatum: figure out what his problem is, whether it's physical, psychological, or simply a lack of interest in you, or get out.

Originally Posted by caterpillar79

Sounds like you've exhausted all means.

I once read across a similar tone in a thread and remember it was suggested that maybe it's time to tell DH to try an open relationship.

My thoughts exactly. If he truly isn't into sex and wants you to be happy, this is something he should be ok with.