Male here, hope thats okay.. question about female orgasms

**Lucas** · 01-25-2010 07:17 PM

Hello ladies

I am 26 years old and have been going out with my girlfriend for about 6 months

In my opinion we have a open and enjoyable sex life, we have fun with it and help each other out if you know what i mean..

The only thing that is of concern is making her climax through penerative sex, I have not been able to do it as of yet

I have made her orgasm during penertration a couple of times, however I use my hands to stimulate her clitoris (in a scissor position usually)

She told me it would be nice if it could happen without 'any help'.. but it seems so hard sometimes, sometimes she gets really close and I end up ejaculating.. It seems as though her being close brings on an orgasm for me

The other night it was about 32 degrees, and we were having sex for about 30 minutes and she got so close but I couldnt keep up the level of energy needed and ended up going soft (Im not to worried about going soft as it was the second time we had sex in this night, and the heat was unbearable and we r still using condoms).. However it was awkward afterwards as she seemed dispondant and distant due to being so close and not arriving

She is relatively new to sex (in fact I was her first, she is 22 years old) and says that she needs to learn better ways to make it feel good

Whenever I finish through sex without making her orgasm I always give her 10-15 minutes to recover then stimulate her orally to orgasm (which only takes about 5 minutes) and we both end up going to bed happy.. however I would love to be able to make her orgasm at the same time as me

She states that these clitoral orgasm are nice, but would like to finish during sex one time, as she says it feels as though it would be a lot deeper and a lot better.. she even stated once that she doesnt like to get close as she can never finish which made me worry

anyway.. I spose any tips/info given would be apprieciated

and I spose i would like to know if there ARE in fact different types of orgasms for women and if vaginal ones are a lot stronger, and of course how to achieve it

Thank you

**danceintx** · 01-25-2010 08:35 PM

I cannot answer whether or not vaginal orgasms are stronger than clitoral because I have never had a vaginal orgasm. I have felt close a couple of times recently but still nothing. From what I have read some women just can't have vaginal orgasms. Mabye your girlfriend can and ya'll just haven't figured out the right way to make it happen, mabye mentally she is not able to let go completely and let it happen. Or, mabye physically she's just one of those women who don't have vaginal orgasms. Every woman is different, and it takes different things to make each of us get to that point.

**WildChild** · 01-25-2010 09:44 PM

Both are good. Very hard to describe the difference.

**pretzel** · 01-26-2010 06:10 AM

Just to add a couple of things,

Love making and the enjoyment of it is a learning experience. Relaxation and the freedom to feel comfortable and confident really go a long way. Time is you ally, so it the future between the two of you. As she matures sexually there will be things that she will find are more pleasurable for both of you. Not being able to speak for the wonderful ladies here and their wealth of knowledge I would venture to say that for many, orgasms are as much emotional as they are physical. Her timelines will not always coincide with yours. Keep that in mind.

**Joy** · 01-26-2010 07:22 AM

Well you both have great attitudes towards it all - fun, fun, fun! Try different depths of penetration and speed. Put on some good music get lost in each other and it will happen.

You don't always have to go fast and hard since you said it was hot and you lost the energy lvl needed due to the heat. Check to see if she is breathing. Believe it or not males and females can kinda start holding their breath the closer they get to climax decreasing oxygen flow decreasing the ability to orgasim. These are the same ppl that hold their breath will working out - decreasing the effectivness of their workout too lol

Sounds like your on the right track good luck

**Disco** · 01-26-2010 08:57 AM

She's only been having sex for about 6 moths. Give her time and she needs to give herself time aswell.

It can take years before women fully enjoy sex.

I only ever get vaginal orgasms so I don't even understand what the fuss is about when it comes to clitoris.

Took me about year and half to start having orgasms.

**angel-lou** · 01-26-2010 03:59 PM

your girlfriend should just relax- thats half the battle, trust me. plus it will take time for her to get used to her own body during sex. the more she worries about it the less likely it is to happen

**sperosi** · 01-26-2010 04:26 PM

silly question, but are you trying different positions? some seemed to work quicker for both me and my SO than others.

**Lucas** · 01-26-2010 05:27 PM

we dont normally try a whole lot of positions.. the one that seems to work the best is missionary when she holds her legs up in the air, she gets very close in this position and I tend to like it due to the deep penertration

For some reason she has an aversion to doggy style, thinking its degrading or something because it has something to do with dogs.. yeah shes a funny girl

another problem also is because shes an ex-virgin and Im quite large (about 9 inches) I have to be really careful in some positions and try not to go to far in

lately it seems to hurt her when I first enter, whereas a little while ago she was saying how good it felt when I first entered her..

**Millania** · 01-27-2010 08:21 AM

Yes there are 2 types of orgasms, clitoral and vaginal..for me as well as most women
clitoral orgsm is easier to obtain.
and the above poster was right about-that some women simply can not have "vaginal orgasms"
to me, and other women I have talked to, clitoral orgasms are much stronger and intense whereas a vaginal orgasm is longer and less strong, but still feels great, either way
You have a larger "member" so she may very well achieve a vaginal orgasm one day
Tell her that doggy style unfortunatley was given a stupid name for a wonderful and easy to achieve vaginal orgasm position! I hope she works with you, and that you can one day do it this way because she will more than likely achieve vaginal orgasm from doggy position
my H and I dont even say-hey I want you doggy style-that sounds so silly, he just tells me he wants me from the "back" and I know what he is talking about and I almost ALWAYS achieve vaginal orgasm this way, its probably the easiest way, and also as you stated-missionary
Tell her she MUST fully relax as well, she will eventually orgasm, it takes a lot of patience and practice with different positions
Try not to focus so much on the clit next time u make love
The less my H focuses on my clit, the easier I have a vaginal orgasm bc my sole attention is on the internal feeling of sex
If my H is rubbing my clit its VERY DIFFICULT for me to have an internal vaginal orgasm. It almost NEVER happens during the clit rubbing lol
SO since he loves mking me orgasm internally, he only rubs my clit like 10% of the times when we make love
I hope this helps
Also-if its hurting her when u enter try Astroglide lube, that is my FAVORITE and most wonderful lube in my opinion, although she is probably "wet" because she is young, if you put some lube on the tip of your "member" before you enter, she will be a very happy girl and you should be able to enter without any pain