Thread: What can i do ???? AAAAAAhhh

You are not alone. A lot of relationships have this problem. The lower sex drive partner always controls the physical part of the relationship.

To me it sounds like that he isn't interested, and the excuse of "alpha male" is exactly that, an excuse. (which is a new one to me. In other words, he's controlling you) And you are right about the technique of not asking for it. That never works to get more. The low drive partner just then never thinks about it and starts thinking you are ok with it, and is relieved that they don't have to have sex as much.

The problem is you two are simply mismatched sexually. There are several solutions: you can try to control your drive (good luck), you can talk to him to tell him how important the sexual part of the relationship is to you (and how much you need it to keep satisfied) and suggest counseling, you can stay with him but get some on the side, or you can leave him.

I suggest the talk and counseling. Communication is the key. Then give him some time to change. Then, if that doesn't work, start looking at other options. There are plenty of men out there that will be able to keep up with you. You just happened to fall for one that doesn't.

I still want to find out why people with higher drives always seem to end up with people with lower drives! there are so many women and men who would like it 2-3 times a day, and others who would lke it 2-3 times a year.

How come we are mis-matched???

I understand that what you are saying is sometimes he only wants sex...... butit shouldnt be all the time like the majority of it is. we maybe have sex once maybe 2 times a week 3 if hes off work. but when we do its how i said. when he wants it regarless if i tell him hey i will do this for you. (oral or h.j) and he still doesnt want it so if it were only sex or a relief wouldnt he want it? and i have communicated with him. he said its because he has gotten out of shape and gets tired easily during. And it probably sounded bad when i said "when i want it" but thats the problem. i ALWAYS have to wait for him . if i make a pass i get shut down. and when he finally does want it im so irratated that its always on his terms. never EVER once have i come to him with a pass and we have done it. its always him he always has to be in control of sex..... and i have comprimised. ive done more quickies than ever. just because he said hey just so you know im not going to last longh we havent done it in 4 - 5 days hun. "well u would last if you would want to have sex more" is what im thinking. but regardless trying to make him happy i par take in his "quickie" and feel restless after from no satisfaction. I know ive comprimised way more for his need than he has for mine. I always try to make him satisfied and happy but when i ask for it in return he says later. which never happens. or he says he is to tired. this is bull!! Should i go on a va jj srtike?

I know. like b4 he had an amazing sex drive but its not as it use to be. i thought it was me for a very long time. maybe hes not attracted to me anymore maybe i gained wieght which i have from kids. but come on no one can stay 108 lbs forever. but i think im attractive. so what is happening. why doesnt he want it like i do anymore? hes more into quickies b.js and h.js