Told him to stop while he was giving me oral

**silverpen** · 02-02-2010 03:57 AM

A guy (not a bf just a fling friend) was giving me oral in bed after fingering me while we made out etc

This was my first receiving oral and it felt okay but I wasn't getting anywhere with it....my clitoris felt too sensitive to reach orgasm (sort of like after you've orgasmed and it just doesnt want to be touched anymore). So he was down on me for a while and I wasn't getting any pleasure out of it because of this and I couldn't fake it!
I did fake a little bit of heavy breathing and muscle clenching but I wasn;t going to try faking the actual thing, no way haha.

It was quite uncomfortable actually if you know the feeling of your clit being too sensitive (like I said it was the feeling as if I had already orgasmed but I hadnt unfortunately)

So eventually I said his name and sort of told him to stop...I didn't say 'stop' he just sort of came up and I said I'm too sensitive down there and he said Yeah I thought you might be.

So he seemed okay about it and everything was normal after. But thats not my question.

Is it okay to tell a guy to stop? I imagine it would be a bit of an ego damager, I know I would be weird if a guy told me to stop giving oral. But what am I supposed to do! Have you ever done it? Or been told to stop before?

**Airmans Sweetie** · 02-02-2010 04:18 AM

i think it would b ok, several reasons. 1. u r not enjoying it! sex of ne kinda should b fun & enjoyable. 2 u were uncomfortable & that isn't good, u shouldn't have to continue if it is painful, tender, sore, or uncomfortable to u. 3. it wasn't because of him, so tellin him to stop shouldn't hurt his ego if u explain that it wasn't his fault that u r sensitive down there.
i have had to tell my husband to stop many times during sex, i had torn tissue in there & it was very painful. he understood though that even though i asked him to stop, it wasn't his fault. sex should b enjoyable for all involved not just one person.

**manspoint** · 02-02-2010 04:32 AM

Sure you can tell him to stop.

If it's not happening for you, for what ever reason, then YOU do not have to continue.
The guy should only get offended if you don't let him do it another time.
As always communicate, tell him why and any guy should be fine with that...upset that he might have to relieve himself if you are that switched off...but otherwise, these things happen...to men too.
I got the third degree once from my wife because she was giving me BJ and I was somewhere else but I let her keep going. So I was in the wrong (It's okay, my ex wife taught me that I am always in the wrong and I just accept it now).
So don't feel bad about it, just discuss it with him and be sorry.

**stabilo** · 02-02-2010 04:42 AM

It is always fine to stop doing anything you want at any stage, no matter what is happening

Don't ever feel bad about it

**Airmans Sweetie** · 02-02-2010 04:46 AM

as women & our caring nature, we sometimes feel like out of kindness that we should deal with it even though we don't enjoy certain things. but it is ok to speak up, like i said earlier it is about ur's & his enjoyment, not just his & not just ur's

**Megan-x** · 02-02-2010 05:38 AM

You can always tell a guy to stop when u arent comfortable with what is happening. If he is a considerate and respectful guy he will understand, u shouldnt feel bad about it because u should never continue with something that makes u uncomfortable. It isnt like u are saying that u never want to do it again its just u dont want to at that time and that is totally fine

**WildChild** · 02-02-2010 07:31 AM

It's ALWAYS OK to communicate what you do or don't want or like. Just because you weren't into it that time doesn't mean it might not feel fantastic another time. So don't cross it off your list.

**pretzel** · 02-02-2010 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by silverpen

Is it okay to tell a guy to stop? I imagine it would be a bit of an ego damager, I know I would be weird if a guy told me to stop giving oral. But what am I supposed to do! Have you ever done it? Or been told to stop before?

It's your body. If you want him to stop, he darn well better stop. You shouldn't give a rats behind about his ego, how weird it sounds.

Plain and simple. People don't have the right to do as they please with another person's body.

**SixOaday** · 02-02-2010 08:43 AM

Sounds to me like he was in too big a rush when he was fingering you. Did not get you or his fingers wet enough, was rubbing too hard, etc. and irritated your clit. It is only flesh and blood and not all friction is good, think rug burns. By the time he got around to going down on you it was too irritated to feel good. With a skilled lover you could say it was sensitive and they could find ways to keep you in the action without irritating it but this guys sounds a bit clumsy/inexperienced and just telling him to stop was the right thing to do.