Mess around with another woman

**Tiger** · 02-02-2010 04:00 AM

Rite girlies I have been thinking about this for ages. I am very happy in my relationship(im a woman btw) with my lovely man. However one of my sexual fantasies is to mess around with a woman. I made the mistake of telling my bf this and now he thinks I want a 3some(something that he is very happy about). I don't want a 3some and I have expressed this, he is now saying that he would just be happy to watch us. This is my fantasie and I don't want my man there!

Has anyone had a girl on girl experience, and how did your boyfreind react to being left out?

**manspoint** · 02-02-2010 04:08 AM

Tiger

You don't want your BF to be present. Fair enough. What about me?

No seriously, what about me?

No really. This is every mans (well almost every str8 mans) wildest dream.
You must have a very open relationship for him to be okay with it.

Does this mean he can have a man-man fling?
The gender is really irrelevant here. Can he have a fling with another woman; another person?

**SixOaday** · 02-02-2010 07:53 AM

Well I have pretty much always enjoyed both men and women, but there are several caveats. First, I think you need to deal with how this fits in your current relationship. yes all men fantasize about it, but I have frankly found very few who are really comfortable with it on a continuing basis. They expect to be the full center of attention, but rarely are. After all, most have trouble fully satisfying one woman at a time. I am not monogomous despite having a live in girlfriend/bedmate and other partners of several years standing. All understand at the beginning what to expect from me. If you and your boyfriend have expectations of monogomy from each other, don't just assume being with a woman doesn't count. If you do this, there is a very good chance he would consider it "cheating". You need to deal with expectations between you and your boyfriend before you go down this road, and understand he may not accept it as ok. While I encurage exploration, you may have to decide whether the current relationship is more important to you. You might also ask yourself if part of the reason his desire to participate doesn't appeal to you and you are not sure you want to share him. If it is true for you, is it not rue for him too.

As far as exploring sexual expression you have not tried before, your instincts are right. I find it best to do so on a one on one basis. Your partner for the exploration should understand you are exploring and be someone you can trust to respond to any request you make to stop or change what is going on. The nice thing about women is most of them don't quit on you before you are satisfied.

**WildChild** · 02-02-2010 07:58 AM

Manspoint makes a good point. You are in a relationship. Is it an open relationship? If not better keep it in the fantasy catgory.

**LedZeppelin** · 02-02-2010 01:39 PM

I agree with WildChild. If its not an extrememly open relationship then if you were to act on that fantasy it would be considered cheating. But if your husbands okay with it and it doesnt exceed your moral and ethical values then why not ?

**heryseshta** · 02-02-2010 01:43 PM

Isn't a relationship about compromising? If he is willing to let you do it and just watch well...That's a lot more than most men would say! And it would also probably fulfill one of his fantasies. If it isn't an open relationship though I would say it would be cheating to leave him out.

**newhere808** · 02-02-2010 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by heryseshta

Isn't a relationship about compromising? If he is willing to let you do it and just watch well...That's a lot more than most men would say! And it would also probably fulfill one of his fantasies. If it isn't an open relationship though I would say it would be cheating to leave him out.

If it isn't an open relationship I would call it cheating period, same-gender doesn't dictate whether it's fooling around or not.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-02-2010 02:31 PM

Tiger, I'm sorry but the moment you enter a relationship it is meant to be exclusive.

Fantasties can only be acted out mutually and as that's not the case, you have to decide if you want to lose your boyfriend or stay with him and keep that fantasy as exactly that.

Off course, it's a man's dream (not all actually), to either watch, or have a 3 some, but it's not a man's dream to sit at home, knowing his lady is in bed with another person, without major problems.

CW

**Texinator** · 02-02-2010 02:43 PM

Threesomes are for fantasies and single people. They typically don't work in committed relationships.

**sinner** · 02-03-2010 02:19 AM

if its just you and her and you dont want him there and he is not okay with it then it is cheating. just because you are the same sex doesnt make it okay think of it this way what if he said can he have sex with another woman but doesnt want you involved? its the same. if you are in a committed relationship then its you and him no third parties unless you are both comfortable with it.