Surface vs Penetration?

**Browneyes20** · 02-04-2010 06:54 PM

I have been wondering since I've started becoming sexually active if there is something wrong with me. When I masturbate I have little 5 second tingles of pleasure but nothing more unless I constantly keep at it, but when I have sex I feel nothing. I don't feel any pleasure at all but I mostly thought it was just my partner or maybe I haven't found my nitch yet, but it feels better to have my surface rubbed rather than intercourse. Can someone explain why? I also have no sensation in my nipples. I feel really jipped here after reading about the satisfaction people get. Is there anyway to get some kind of feeling? They only react to cold temperatures

I would really like to explore and share things and get people's advice but it's hard to talk to people around me because they are so different from me.

**WildChild** · 02-04-2010 07:10 PM

From what I've read, a lot of women don't feel much from nipple stimulation but do from touch to other parts of the breast, you'll just have to experiement to find out what works for you.
Your clitorus has 8000 nerve endings, so of course that's where it all originates from. Those nerves have to come from somewhere and how they travel through your vaginal and labial areas have a lot to do with how you can be stimulated there. It really is true that your mind is your biggest sex organ. Recent studies of women's brain activity when viewing sexual images have shown similar arousal levels to men and women who have reported being non-orgasmic have brain activity that indicates orgasm. This means they aren't accepting the experience. So what is going on in your head is huge in arousal and orgasm.

I really like the book, The Orgasm Loop, because when I read it I recognised that she is essentially teaching what I've done on my own. So I figure it ought to help other women become orgasmic. You might want to read it and see what you can do with it. At the very least you would be no worse off. I have a feeling you just find yourself having a whole lot more fun.

**PulpFiction** · 02-04-2010 07:12 PM

Well your surface - im sure your taking about your clit. Of course this feels better when stimulated compared to the vagina. The clit is a very sensitive spot

While having intercourse try a position where either your boyfriend or yourself can stimulate it. I'm sure thats it.

**Browneyes20** · 02-04-2010 07:17 PM

So are you guys saying you can't really get satisfaction through penetration without clitoral stimulation? I'm sorry that rhymes haha

**PulpFiction** · 02-04-2010 07:19 PM

Well it all depends on the person, maybe you need both. Just give it a try

**LedZeppelin** · 02-04-2010 07:42 PM

Of course penetration can give great pleasure. But like everybody mentioned it all depends on the person. You and him need to explore eachother. Experiment and find out what you like. Or maybe your boyfriend is just bad. Who knows. What I would suggest is first of all talk about it. Second of all continue to masturbate. Locate your G spot and Deep spot and see if you enjoy that and if you do there are plenty of sexual positions that allow for this type of stimulation. Tell your boyfriend to check out OrgasmArts.com. Very quality site with lots of quality info on how to please your girlfriend. Just dont get down on yourself. Everybody is different. You both just have to find out what works best for you

**holetoledo** · 02-04-2010 07:47 PM

I have just recently started being sexually active, too, and I found that it takes a while to 1) adjust to his size and 2) figure out what feels good to me. Unfortunately, I don't have any nipple sensitivity either but it feels good when he touches the undersides of my breasts. Also, I'm not sure if it's because my body isn't used to being penetrated but it still really hurts upon entry, so it takes a bit for me to warm up to any kind of pleasure he's doling out... I found that I can't come unless there's clitoral stimulation, either. Try out different positions. For example, I recently found that I like it when I'm on my tummy because from that angle, he can hit my g-spot a certain way and my clit also rubs against the mattress.

**LilahX** · 02-04-2010 08:31 PM

I also feel jipped as I have practically no sensation in my nipples, yet I have a friend who can orgasm from nipple stimulation. All it means is that we are all different and have to deal with whatever we have been dealt in that regard. Our nerve ends just must be more deep seated than others.

Re not feeling much from intercourse that can be for a few reasons

1. lack of experience in you not knowing where your gspot is, and your guy not knowing either - read up, experiment with fingers and toys

2. different positions work better for sensation for different people. 'Doggy' is better for the penis making contact with the gspot

3. your guy not being experienced enough or patient enough to try different things (positions, tempos, rhythms) to find what works best. The best lover I ever had made a point of really finding out what felt best for each woman. Some guys I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Yet with him it just blew my mind from the first moment of penetration.

4. it gets betrer with age and experience - just enjoy the process and learn about your body by yourself and with your guy. Don't rush it or stress abou it. Think sensual rather than sexual for a while.

**p3375** · 02-05-2010 02:56 AM

Agree with LX above - takes time and experimentation to see what does and doesn't work for each person.
I've been sexually active in one way or another for almost 20 years (yeah, yeah - old as heck) and I'm still finding new avenues of pleasure.
It's like exploring a whole new world - if you keep looking and have an open mind you will continually discover great new stuff!

P

**manspoint** · 02-05-2010 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by p3375

Agree with LX above - takes time and experimentation to see what does and doesn't work for each person.
I've been sexually active in one way or another for almost 20 years (yeah, yeah - old as heck) and I'm still finding new avenues of pleasure.
It's like exploring a whole new world - if you keep looking and have an open mind you will continually discover great new stuff!

P

Slight correction.....Not "old as heck". A fantastic age!.....I'm finding my 40's are the most sexually fullfilling years thus far. It just keeps getting better with age. Can't wait till I'm in my 90's LOL. Could also be circumstances but I aint complaining!