Sex question from a dude

**dude123** · 02-09-2010 11:44 PM

Hope its ok to post here as a guy but anyway, i have some sex questions and wanted females opinions. Nothign major here but some things ive been curious about. Do girls like being cummed on? Like not on the face but say on the chest? Always wanted to do that with my girl we been goin out 3 years and i never did. I never came on any part of her in 3 years.
I suggested it a few times and she talked me out of it for this reason or that. She wasnt at all mad she just seemed to not want me to. She told me once that she has had that done to her before by past bf's yet she didnt let me do it, kinda makes me mad. Should i just not ask and do it one day in the heat of the moment and see wat happens? She cant possibly be pissed at me for that can she? I think its really hot and would love to do something different for a change sex has gotten really boring. Missionary or her on top and nothing else.

Another question, is it wrong to ask my gf of 3 yrs to titty (edit) her. I was always to scared to ask. I really want to cuz shes got huge boobs but im afraid shell be pissed. i dunno tho cuz i hear guys say all the time that a girl will do anything u want in bed as long as u dont make them feel like they're being slutty. Does anyone on here let their guys do that?

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-10-2010 12:09 AM

I think, you have been with her for THREE years... you should be able to communicate to her your feelings, wants, desires, fantasies. You should know hers, or be asking her hers if don't already know.... plus those things change over time... what once someone might think they don't want to do they might be excited to try at another time.

If she specifically said no to you coming on her, you shouldn't just do it since you already know how she feels about it. It will come off pretty disrespectful if she's already stated she didn't want it... if she hadn't said that, it would be different.

Why not one night when cuddling ask her about some of her fantasies, share some of yours. I am sure any woman would be happy to hear their mans fantasies that are focused on THEM... things you are desiring to do with her. Don't tell her you are bored unless you want to start an argument and make her feel unnappreciated (will work against your goal of having better sex, for sure)

Be sure to say words like erotic, sexy, beautiful, intimacy, fantasy, love, and avoid words like slutty, nasty, dirty. Its how you paint the picture that makes all the difference.

**stressed** · 02-10-2010 05:27 AM

Talk to her about it as in a fantasy, but not in a way that you'd sound pressuring, like HD said. You can ask why she doesn't want you to do it and you can tell that you only want to because you find her so sexy and beautiful and it has nothing to do with being disrespectful to her. That it's not about you 'using' her but you wanting to do more things with her because she's so hot and you've been thinking about it. If she's totally off it then you need to discuss this with her in more depth, as there are deeper reasons behind why she'd say no right away before even trying it with you. Maybe her ex treated her badly overall and now she connects this with disrespectful men.

**dude123** · 02-10-2010 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

I think, you have been with her for THREE years... you should be able to communicate to her your feelings, wants, desires, fantasies. You should know hers, or be asking her hers if don't already know.... plus those things change over time... what once someone might think they don't want to do they might be excited to try at another time.

If she specifically said no to you coming on her, you shouldn't just do it since you already know how she feels about it. It will come off pretty disrespectful if she's already stated she didn't want it... if she hadn't said that, it would be different.

Why not one night when cuddling ask her about some of her fantasies, share some of yours. I am sure any woman would be happy to hear their mans fantasies that are focused on THEM... things you are desiring to do with her. Don't tell her you are bored unless you want to start an argument and make her feel unnappreciated (will work against your goal of having better sex, for sure)

Be sure to say words like erotic, sexy, beautiful, intimacy, fantasy, love, and avoid words like slutty, nasty, dirty. Its how you paint the picture that makes all the difference.

Well she never said no, she just talked me out of it a few times. Other guys did it with her. I think im gonna just do it. She barely ever wants sex in the first place, i should get somethin i want at least once in a while.

**stressed** · 02-10-2010 05:54 AM

Hmm you seem to be more unhappy with your sex life overall. You need to mention this to her as letting things be can make it worse. Find out why she doesn't want sex, ask her what she'd like to do, make it more about her for a while to make her interested in it again, try new things, be romantic and give her compliments. Make her realize that this is something wonderful for both of you that you wish you had more of.

**dude123** · 02-10-2010 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by stressed

Hmm you seem to be more unhappy with your sex life overall. You need to mention this to her as letting things be can make it worse. Find out why she doesn't want sex, ask her what she'd like to do, make it more about her for a while to make her interested in it again, try new things, be romantic and give her compliments. Make her realize that this is something wonderful for both of you that you wish you had more of.

Ive tried to talk to her 3 times in a year and half since we moved in together. She just throws a fit. She screams and sobs uncontrollably and says irrational things. I say it as nice as i can too. I tell her that were young and have no kids or a mortgage and should be doin it more than once a week. We never ever do it more than once a week and she never ever inititates! It makes me feel crappy and i feel like im begging. It shouldnt like that when ur in ur 20s with no kids or a mortgage. She starts sobbing and screaming like a nut uncontrollably for hours and then when she clma down she says that she does inititate (even tho she 100% never does) I am always horny cuz im a guy so trust me if she wanted to have sex she would make it happen. if im lucky im able to get her to do it once a week and never more. its causing me to have performance probs too. Im 28 and now im losing my erection during sex which never happened to me ever before with any girl. I also cum too soon alot cuz i am so nervous now that she already doesnt want sex with me, if i cum too fast shell make me wait another whole week or two cuz it sucks. It messed with my head. Earlier in the relationship i was hard as a rock and never was a minute man. Back then she loved sex she wanted it more than me almost it was great. As soon as we moved in it was like she had me and didnt need to do anything to keep me around anymore cuz she already had me. I never shoula moved in with her yet. i shoulda waited. Once u move in with a girl they got u by the balls. Is just so frustarting cuz weve ive tried 3 times to discuss it with her, each time telling her that i love her and im attracted to her and thats why i wanna do it more, and i dont get why she doesnt and each time she throws a fit and sobs for hrs. she literally sobs and then starts lying, and saying that she inititates and that i dont initiate very much which is totally irrational its the opposite im always horny and trying and she never tries ever. now its so unfair cuz now i have perf problems and i went to a dr he check me out and thinks its 100% mental. she did this to me, and her not wanting to do it often is not letting it resolve itself which they say is usally wat happens. each time we have sex 2 or 3 times the next week cuz she makes an effort too for once. Then the next week like clockwork its back to once a week or less and it stays like that till 6 months go buy and i cant take it anymore. number one im horny cuz im 28, number 2 it makes me feel unwanted and sux, and number 3 wtf! if we dont have sex in the prime of our lives in our 20s right now when will we? We r engaged now in 5 yrs well prob have kids and then sex is pretty much over. Wats wrong with her?

**dude123** · 02-10-2010 06:18 AM

Originally Posted by stressed

Maybe her ex treated her badly overall and now she connects this with disrespectful men.

Well then maybe i should treat her badly too, nice guys always lose. Early in the relationship she gave me road head, wanted to 69, she gave reg head whenever she had her period, she tried any position. Now if i suggest 69, she says nah. If i suggest another position she says nah, if i ask to cum on her she says nah. She blows me once every 3 or 4 months now if im lucky, and one time i asked if i could stand up cuz she was on the couch already and she in a snotty way said no sit down and made a face. i wanted it a diff way for once is that so bad? We do nothin different ever. Its missionary for a few mins, and then she goes on top to finish. She always cums even tho i dont last long i hold it as long as i humanly can for 5-6 mins and she cums and screams. But she never tries to please me it sux. Next time she comes before me im gonna pull out and shoot on her . too bad.

**PJhavinfunagain** · 02-10-2010 06:36 AM

Ok there is definitely something going on here... Has she switched birth control?

Did former boyfriends just do all these things to her and she did not like it? Sounds like maybe you are the first one to even ask or care about her feelings so she is striking back in a way.

There is definitely something going on with her that she is wanting to close off or is resentful of sex. You need to either throw in the towel, or be super loving and not just tell her what you want but sit down and discuss what you BOTH want out of your relationship. Maybee there is past abuse you know nothing about.

Good luck!

**WildChild** · 02-10-2010 06:36 AM

How much foreplay do you do? How often do you cuddle with her and carress her and just see how turned on you can get her?

**PJhavinfunagain** · 02-10-2010 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by dude123

Well then maybe i should treat her badly too, nice guys always lose. Early in the relationship she gave me road head, wanted to 69, she gave reg head whenever she had her period, she tried any position. Now if i suggest 69, she says nah. If i suggest another position she says nah, if i ask to cum on her she says nah. She blows me once every 3 or 4 months now if im lucky, and one time i asked if i could stand up cuz she was on the couch already and she in a snotty way said no sit down and made a face. i wanted it a diff way for once is that so bad? We do nothin different ever. Its missionary for a few mins, and then she goes on top to finish. She always cums even tho i dont last long i hold it as long as i humanly can for 5-6 mins and she cums and screams. But she never tries to please me it sux. Next time she comes before me im gonna pull out and shoot on her . too bad.

I know you are upset but if you care about this girl we both know that treating her badly is just a bad idea...

You need to let go of the past and sit down together and look toward the future.

and if you truly love this girl you would not even consider doing something to her you know she does not want! It really does not matter if you want it... if she does not then it is OFF LIMITS!