Thread: Having sex with someone you don't like

Well my story relates to yours and to the original post.

I have a "complicated" family there has been abuses all my life, some of witch where done to me by my parents they stopped when I grew tall, I was about 13 the last time, my parents still have their dysfunctional relationship and I still live with them. I have no friends I moved to town 3 years ago and I hated it and I still do, I don't go out to do anything "fun" I missed out my teen years my parents kept me from going anywhere, homeschooling. When I was about 10 my whole primary school was in a “real school” I remember being very social I was miss popular, I had real life friends until I was 13.
I have this neighbors who have a son that came for a visit on Christmas 09 and on Christmas 2010 I talked to him occasionally and didn't really care for him or liked him or was grossed out by him. In mid January he was still here and he asked me out we went to the movies we made out. The next day I got in a huge fight with my dad the guy heard everything. I went out with him upset and he gave me some lecture about my own family telling me this and that and I didn't pay attention to it, we had sex it wasn't enjoyable. I met him the next day for the same sex. Then I started talking to him on the 4 night and he became very insulting, at a moment I was sitting and he was behind me and tried to choke me it hurt, but he stopped… He was upset and insulting me and my family lecturing on how childish I was blah, blah…

He left the next day I had him on Face book and my friends (virtual) told me "don't eliminate him you'll give him too much importance" so I didn't. I got into my depressive state which is very hostile I'm very mean when I'm depressed and I couldn’t tell why it was, until last night I realized it's because I didn't eliminate him I realized the immensity of what he had done to me and my nothing reaction to it. So I woke up and eliminated him even though we never spoke again after the fourth night not even a comment it sort of itched in me.

I'm telling this cause it relates to almost all the comments I read, it is true yahoo is very hostile to this things, it's also very true that perhaps me growing up with my parents telling me how stupid I am how incapable of relating properly how ugly etc, sets a mind to not realize when you are being hurt!
The smallest things are an alert on who is not welcome to come in, I learned something and I told one of the friends who said not to eliminate him, I learned to respect myself, I've been alone all my life and I'm not having sex until I find prince charming! At the first insult WALK AWAY or send him OUT! Don’t live with that. Meaningless sex… Hmm… even 4 that you have to find someone that's respectful! Or else don't talk to your f**buddy you won't like what they say.

My family is terrible in so many ways but I'm the only one who gets to say that. They made vibrators for a reason! I find more love in hugging myself than a fake hug by someone else, my parents may allow that sh**t between them but I won't allow it from anyone I don't allow it from them since I turned 13 and I could fight back, well the same thing is for strangers.
This blog helped me a lot we are not alone in this world and we do learn from mistakes. I was feeling disgusted with myself, reading this made me realize it's not taking me anywhere. I got a job and I'm saving to move out of my parent’s house 4good!
If he’s not worth it it’s better to just be alone…

Thank you all so much!

My family is also abusive, lucky for me it's only my dad and his side. My mom and step-dad are amazing, but my father is the biggest a**hole. He lies, he insults me, he makes fun of me with his friends or family and allows them to do the same, sometimes even encouraging them. I once asked my mother why she divorced my father, and 13 years later he has shown me. They all have. I was lucky to have my mother to build up the minimal amount of self-esteem they tore down. I thought I was stupid, ugly and hopeless all because they told me I was. I was even more hurt by the fact that he helped them do to me what they did to him. I finally realized when I was 18 that if they weren't proud of me now they probably wouldn't ever be. Now that I've grown more I can see what they see - someone that thinks for herself and isn't afraid to question. That's all. That's what they wanted to squash.

I got a job and I'm saving to move out of my parent’s house 4good!

It's not worth your time to be vindictive. All you can do is accept that these are your parents and that you never have to be like them. I GOT LUCKY. I could have had the most abusive relationship because god knows I thought I DESERVED that. My SO turned out to be an amazing guy that I am still with him, but it could have just as easily gone the other way. They took away all my self-esteem because they thought that could control me, but they were wrong. Your parents were wrong too. Hopefully you are or can one feel proud to be who you are. I am now, and I make my boyfriend, mom and step-dad proud too.

I know it takes a lot of guts to question why your parents do the things they do and admit they were wrong. It also takes guts to admit a mistake and have the courage to deal with it and learn from it. I may be a complete stranger, but it seems to me that you've got guts.