Thread: Found Out My Bf's Bi Sexual..Need Advice!!

Ok, so let me start this off by saying me and my boyfriend have been together now for 8 months and have been friends for over 8 years. i would have never expected him to be bi sexual by any means. the entire time i have known him he has been with a long term girlfriend. Although he has only been with 3 other girls. Anyways one day i had this strange feeling and i read some of his msgs on facebook. finding one From him to another guy talking about giving him head. i read the date on the msg and it was when he was with his ex girlfriend and only about a month before we got together. i confronted him immediately and he denied it at first but a few moments later he admitted to me hes never told anyone that he is bi sexual and that he has talked to guys online when he wa with his ex girfriends. he has told me he slept with 2 other guys before. I keep finding random e-mails from the past and let me mention none of these e-mails have beenf rom when we have been dating. He has told me that he only did those thigns when he was with his ex girlfriends beacuse he was confused and not really happy in the relationship he was in with them. but when we got together it changed everything and that he loves me more than ever and would never do that to me. I have contracted HPV from my boyfriend and all of this has been really overwhelming for me to get over. I am doing my best to ignore it.. and continue with our relationship.. i love him to death and our sex life is amazing.. should i just ignore this and accept the fact that he is bi sexual until i find out if he cheated on me or has talked to other guys while we're dating?? i want to pleasure him as much as i can but i dont want him to be thinking about other guys while we're having sex.. should i give in and try to ask him if he would like me to do things to his anus? or watch gay porn together? i am very confused and feel he still wants to have gay sex with other men when we're together. Sometimes during sex i am wondering if he is imagining me as a guy? are these my own issues i shuold get over?? please help

There have been multiple threads posted here about the same subject. Do a thread search and see what you can find.

But in answer to your question just because he's bi-sexual doesn't mean that he can't be any less faithful than someone who's not. It's all up to his "character" as a person as to whether or not he's a faithful partner not his sexual orientation.

Take a look within yourself and you need to decide if him being bi-sexual is something you can live with or not. If not then you need to move on.

If you can continue with the relationship then until he's shows (may or may not ever happen) that he cannot be trusted, I say give him the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

Don't ignore his bi curiosity - it's not going to go away. Many many more guys are bi than will readily admit b/c there is still a taboo around it.

If you don't have an issue with bisexuality in general, let him know you're ok with him exploring this side of himself - with you. You could start with just fantasy talk, and if you were able to deal with it, perhaps look for a bi guy for a threesome. As long as yr well prepared and it's handled properly that can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. I find it totally hot seeing my man do stuff with another guy (but that's me).

Try experimenting to see if he likes you playing with his anus. Just venture down there in the general course of touching him and gauage his response. Remember tho that he may have a negative response b/c it's unexpected or he hasn't thought about you going there but make sure you reassure him you're ok with it and if he likes it - you like it. If yr not that keen on using your fingers, get a small dildo (and loads of lube).

Sure, watch gay porn with him if he likes it. It'll be a good way for you to see how you react to the whole m/m thing too if you haven't given it much thought.

Open communiction is the way to go here and he needs to know to be careful/safe about anyone he/you both may meet.

I just spent some time composing a note to you regarding your advice, but I realized that it would be a public thread, so.... once again I keep it to myself.

But the time writing the response felt very good. I wish I could share it with you.

It refreshing to feel that some do understand.

Originally Posted by LilahX

Don't ignore his bi curiosity - it's not going to go away. Many many more guys are bi than will readily admit b/c there is still a taboo around it.

If you don't have an issue with bisexuality in general, let him know you're ok with him exploring this side of himself - with you. You could start with just fantasy talk, and if you were able to deal with it, perhaps look for a bi guy for a threesome. As long as yr well prepared and it's handled properly that can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. I find it totally hot seeing my man do stuff with another guy (but that's me).

Try experimenting to see if he likes you playing with his anus. Just venture down there in the general course of touching him and gauage his response. Remember tho that he may have a negative response b/c it's unexpected or he hasn't thought about you going there but make sure you reassure him you're ok with it and if he likes it - you like it. If yr not that keen on using your fingers, get a small dildo (and loads of lube).

Sure, watch gay porn with him if he likes it. It'll be a good way for you to see how you react to the whole m/m thing too if you haven't given it much thought.

Open communiction is the way to go here and he needs to know to be careful/safe about anyone he/you both may meet.

Thank you for your kind words. I do understand. As I said, I know for a fact that bi curiosity among men is not unusual buit many feel they can't broach it with their partners. Your man is lucky you didn't just brush it off or worse, be totaly disgusted. Good luck to you both.