Thread: Why am I acting like such an over this??

Hiya girls (and guys if there are guys on here. ha!)

I am in a relationship at the moment and I am so unbelievably happy. He is such an amazing guy. Love him to bits.

Im having such annoying feelings at the moment though - which are totally driving me nuts! I Dont even know if this is the case in the slightest, but I am guessing that my guy watches porn and masturbates over it - the same as every guy. He has never said anything about it - so obviously i dont know, but im just guessing that he is. We dont live with each other at the moment, and we live 1hr30mins ish away from each other, and see each other on the weekends, so i can understand to an extent why he would do this (if he does) - but it really upsets me.

Here is the crazy bit.....

I get really annoyed, upset and hurt over the thought of him watching porn - but i use a vibrator a lot. I havent told him i use one (mainly because, well, lets just say he isnt very well endowed bless his heart - and i wouldnt want him to get upset himself.) I sometimes even go to the extreme of thinking other thoughts - so i really dont understand my jealousy/hurt of him watching porn - when i basically do the same in a sense!!!

Its so double standards - but i just cant seem to help it??!!

thank you for your response, and i totally understand what you mean.

I dont use a vibrator because of his small size. in fact, im very happy with it - but i know that he has issues with it, and even when i tell him everything is fine hes always worrying about it. I use my vibrator when hes not there, and if we did move in together (which is what we are planning on doinjg in the near future) I would throw it away as I would see no use for it, as he would be there. Although if i did do that, i would certainly hope that he wouldnt watch porn - as i am there for him kind of thing.

Our sex life is great, so im not using a vibrator to fill a void that i dont have. Its just a means of realease when hes not around.

This is why i confuse myself as to my double standards. I feel that i can use a vibrator when hes not around, and think of different 'sexual scenerios' to suit my needs, but i feel hurt if he watches porn. (even tho, like i said before, hes never said anything to me that would indicate he does). Thats whats confusing me. I dont see why i think i can get away with doing what i do, but get offended when he does the same thing.

Originally Posted by Joey

thank you for your response, and i totally understand what you mean.

I dont use a vibrator because of his small size. in fact, im very happy with it - but i know that he has issues with it, and even when i tell him everything is fine hes always worrying about it. I use my vibrator when hes not there, and if we did move in together (which is what we are planning on doinjg in the near future) I would throw it away as I would see no use for it, as he would be there. Although if i did do that, i would certainly hope that he wouldnt watch porn - as i am there for him kind of thing.

Our sex life is great, so im not using a vibrator to fill a void that i dont have. Its just a means of realease when hes not around.

This is why i confuse myself as to my double standards. I feel that i can use a vibrator when hes not around, and think of different 'sexual scenerios' to suit my needs, but i feel hurt if he watches porn. (even tho, like i said before, hes never said anything to me that would indicate he does). Thats whats confusing me. I dont see why i think i can get away with doing what i do, but get offended when he does the same thing.

Thats why guys watch porn. We need a release! It has nothing to do with you. Only a release. It's not that we would not rather have you, we would rather have YOU! Trust me on this, we love you and care for you, we need you. It is only a way to cope with our needs when you are not there.

I think the biggest fear of him doing it, is the thought that im not good enough for him. That he does it because I dont satisfy him. Female pornstars always appear to be attractive and are always up for anything. Compared to them i feel worthless - in the sense of, although my guy thinks and says often enough that i am stunning, compared to the those girls that he may be watching i feel ugly. Plus there are certain things that the female pornstars do, that i wouldnt do in a million years. I would hate for him to think i am boring and go off me. Thats my fear.

My biggest hurt from it, is the thought of him comeing over other girls in the videos or images. I cant stand the thought of that. Id feel hurt if he did it a lot aswell - it makes me feel insecure that he needs to masterbate to porn a lot, but only have sex with me occasionally. (I know that we live away from each other, so cant have sex alot - but if we moved in to the same house together - if he continued to watch it, i would feel incredibly insecure). and you are right, i do feel hurt that he can masterbate and have strong feelings sexually that dont involve me. Especially over other girls. I think to myself - if he loved me as much as he says he does, and loves the sex that we have, why does he have to watch OTHER girls have sex? The thought of it literally sickens me

and my biggest worry would be that when we do have sex, he would be thinking about the girls that he has been watching in porn - and not on me. Even though my 'Sexual situations' I think of may not include him initially, I only ever think about him when we are actually having sex. I would never think of anything else. Thats why i would be hurt if i found out that he did think of other girls.

I am very much like you when you say that you feel sad inside at the prospect of you guy watching porn. I feel sad as although I use a vibrator when my guy isnt with me, I dont use porn - just my own images in my head. I will be honest, the majority of times i do this, the images are of him - but once in a while thinking of something different gives a sense of excitement i suppose. Ive just got it in my head that porn is so much worse then what i do, as im not actually watching other people having sex, just using my imagination.

You are so right when you say about focusing on the more important things, like how he treats me like a princess. I have never been with someone so caring and who actually loves me for everything. and like you say, humans are jealous creatures, and i am definitly one of them it would seem.

Originally Posted by a touch of grey

Thats why guys watch porn. We need a release! It has nothing to do with you. Only a release. It's not that we would not rather have you, we would rather have YOU! Trust me on this, we love you and care for you, we need you. It is only a way to cope with our needs when you are not there.

See this is what i would love to hear. If my boyfriend looks at porn i would like to think that although he watches it when im not there, when i am there he prefers me over it - if you see what i mean. Im kind of worried about what the guy has said above - with it not being kosher if he is in a relationship with me. I am not living with my boyfriend, we live nearly 2ish hours away from each other. we try and see each other at weekends, but sometimes its not possible. is it still not kosher for him to do it in the respect? Obviously i see it not being right if we are living together, as he could basically have sex whenever he wanted - but living apart from each other, is that still not right?