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Thread: Asking for Head?

  1. #31
    WH Super Moderator Array sourpuss's Avatar
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    The birth control pill and anti-depressants can both kill your sex drive. I can only imagine that the two together would really put a damper on it.
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  2. #32
    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array PJhavinfunagain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dude123 View Post
    She's been on the pill since way before i met her, and shes been on anti-depressants since well before i met her and nothing has changed same exact meds. We been together a few years. She was totally into sex when we met, like she wanted it all the time and would do anything, it was great. she was so into it and would do it any chamce we got, it would wear me out sometimes, my penis would almost be numb cuz shed want it 4 times in 2 days. But i loved it. After that initial period it normalized as it does in most relationships but it was still at a decent level. After the first yr and a half it totally slowed to a crawl tho. i dont do anythign different im the same exact guy, so i dont know wat the problem is. She never ever initiates until i finally snap and say something and then she does it just to rpove that she does it for like a few weeks but then it goes righ tback to normal. I mean i dunno if its the same for women, but im a guy and i crave sex. Im supposed to if im a healthy male. She doesnt seem to crave it ever. She is just indifferent. Like she cums and moans and screams and she squirts sometimes so i know she is getting off and feeling gfreat when she does. But its like its just a result to her. I don ever see her wanting that result. Its as if i have to initiate and she kinda doesnt really want to and just gives in here or there and then ewventually feels great as she has a massive orgasm. It baffles me. If someone got me to a massive orgasm that made me scream i would want that every day! lol i dont get it, i know im not the best at sex i dont last that long sometimes but i always last long enuff to get her off and she is not faking trust me i feel her squiriting and feel the muscle contractions and see her lose her breath and then see her stuff afterwards. So trust me its not fake.
    I totally believe you. But for someone struggling with a low sex drive it is not so much the having fun while you are there but the getting your mind and body to put everything aside to let yourself get there. You said sometime you have to watch what you say because if it is the wrong thing then no sex is going to happen. This is big around here and DH and I are both learning. If DH makes a derogatory comment to me or the kids then sex probably will not happen that night even if I am totally horny. With most women sex is more in the mind than in the body. I heard a good quote once... for men foreplay is the 10 minutes before sex, for women it is the 24hours before sex.
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  3. #33
    WH Assistant Head Moderator Array LanaBear's Avatar
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    It may do a world of good for her to go back to the Dr and revisit her meds.

    FWIW, her sexual drive can come back.

    I've been with hubby since I was 17, two kids, everyday normal stresses. We were very sexually active until my drive completely vanished in my 20's. Plus, the BC didn't help either.

    The last few years have been wonderful for us. But speaking as a woman who has gone through this, it is very very hard to admit to ourselves, it's easier to blame the man for 'wanting sex all the time' even though, deep down, we know that is not the problem.

    Just my .02.
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  4. #34
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
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    It just seems to be more of an emotional/medical issue here than sex itself. She can be enjoying it physically but there may be something that blocks sex in her mind. This is not an easy situation and I don't think you can solve it by yourself, you could be doing everything right and she still can be seeing it as wrong.

    She needs to visit her doctor again and discuss this or you can join her, or talk to her doctor yourself. I think it's the best choice you have.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork View Post
    If you want more head, make her feel like she's beautiful when she does it for you. Like she excites you and turns you on... that you enjoy looking at her face while she is giving you extra special attention.

    If you say ' can you blow me more'... odds are... you probably won't get blown much more.

    If you tell her how awesome she makes you feel when she does it, how you can't stop thinking about how good she is ... you will get it more.

    If you knew your girl got off one something you did... if it made you feel like a stud, you'd probably LOVE doing it for her.

    Many girls are similiar, we want to feel beautiful and sexy and wanted... if you can make her feel that way about doing that act -- you'll get it a lot.
    **************************************
    I completely agree with you!! Everytime I pleasure my husband he always makes gives me compliments or makes nice comments that makes me want to do it more often. When he flat out asks "baby can you blow me?' I honestly reply... "blow yourself!" I know that's mean but it works. He's learned that I love doing it but can't ask for it! He just better be prepared

  6. #36
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    Default don't u get it

    dude123!!!i am surprised that u do not get it..

    she does not like oral sex but she is giving u because she loves u.....

    so in my opinion if u love her ..then do not push her ...and do not pretend that u r victum here......
    why u have so much obsession of oral sex when there are many other way to enjoy...

    believe me just try to give her normal vaginal sex until she gets orgasm.....
    she will give you sex u cannot imagine...

    oral sex is not end of the world....

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