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Thread: incest - the last taboo?

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    Default incest - the last taboo?


    Another thread made me think of this. Society (western) has become quite accepting of homosexuality, consensual S&M, many fetishes, polyamory. Incest still seems to be in a different category. For "victimless" sexual activities it seems unique.

    (Here I'm considering sibling incest - that doesn't have the power issues with parent / child incest).

    Of course there are genetic reasons why you wouldn't want to have children from close relatives, but these days sex isn't only directed at having children.

    Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT thinking of doing it - it disturbs me as well. I just find it interesting that our society still has this strong taboo.

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    I read once in an anthropology textbook that every society has their own version of an incest taboo, with the closeness of relation varying. There were a lot of reasons listed out, one of them being that growing up close to another person dampens sexual interest in them. There were more, but I don't remember them.
    I disagree that sibling incest would be less damaging than parent/child incest - one sibling must always be older, usually in a position of responsibility over the other, at least as children. And these ideas of seniority continue on into adulthood.
    So if we're speaking of minors, it's a case of one child taking advantage of another ... only describable as abuse. And even in the case of adults, it can still be viewed as abuse or at least an unbalanced relationship.
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    Families are the one place you are supposed to be able to get love that isn't based on sex. Your parents, the ones to guild you, to build your self worth... brothers, sisters, to support you.

    Removing that layer of platonic love and support and have to compete for sexual attention or resist sexual advances from all angles, no safe haven where people just love you for you is a scary thought and would take away , to me , everything that is precious about having a family in the first place.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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    Heinlein explored this in his "Howard family" stories. People who live hundreds of years, he postulated, would cease to be concerned about this once a family member moved into adulthood.

    Look what it got Tut!
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    Isn't babykilling and cannibalism enough?

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    firstly well put HD!!
    it is still very damaging, as it stops the normal development of relationships etc and it is always about power anyway. as a young woman i lived in a community where it was widespread, although i wasnt personally affected it was horrible. the young girls especially were very vulnerable, suicide was not uncommon, drug abuse etc, i cant imagine what it is like to grow up that way.

    if it is taboo, it is for a very good reason.

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    Default Please consider

    Quote Originally Posted by rcoreyus View Post
    For "victimless" sexual activities it seems unique.

    (Here I'm considering sibling incest - that doesn't have the power issues with parent / child incest).

    Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT thinking of doing it - it disturbs me as well. I just find it interesting that our society still has this strong taboo.
    Both my sister and I were raped by our brother. It derailed our lives. more then 40 years later it is still painful despite years of therapy. He was a popular high school athlete and years later and my sister told me that girls his age seemed interested in him (she was in the same school with him) but our home life was very (very, very, very) repressive. It was simply easier to rape us rather then run afoul of our father. My sister disclosed what happened to her school councilor. Nothing happened. The school told my mom (who was a great mom) and dad (who was a really ****ty father) that my sister had too many "home responsibilities" and these should "reduced." Mom who could read between the lines confronted my brother with my sister and he became so angry that, according to my sister, he jumped passed our mom and did something that badly hurt her. The injury was so bad that mom had to deal with my sister, effectively ending the confrontation and any effort to make my brother even consider his actions.

    Years later at a family gathering he did a pantomime of my sister and her teenage sexuality that had our brothers in stitches but was immensely painful for us. She held her dignity and flew home early but she cried with me on the way to the airport. It is not just that he was cruel in particularly mean way. After the rape my sister said she shut down about boys and sexuality in general. The pantomime was about her sexuality before the rape, the very thing the rape took away. It was just another way to control and humiliate her.

    I am not criticizing you and I think that you are trying to ask an open and honest question. But all of the people I've met who have had similar experiences have immensely painful problems in their lives. I realize that these people tend to be people very troubled by their experiences and they represent a particular group within a larger group. But it seems important to recognize that this is closer to the reality for most of us then what I occasionally hear presented as the possibility of an equal sexual relationship between siblings. An equal and open sexual relationship is just not likely to happen between siblings.

    Please do not get the wrong impression, I am glad you asked the question. It is a question that gets kicked around a lot and maybe I am overly sensitive to hearing incest, any kind, described as a victimless activity. I chose the story to illustrate what happened to us because it shows the ongoing nature of abuse, and that the event of abuse can also be a sort of foreplay for humiliations to come.

    You might not even see this as I joined the thread late. But if you do I hope you understand that I honestly believe that you asked what appeared to be an innocent question. This is a long answer with painful contents to that question. But those painful contents should not be seen as a criticism of you for asking the question, only a context for you to consider the nature of the question in.

    Thanks,
    gabrial

    PS I do not want to cast a wet blanket on any discussion. This is my first and possibly only post. I find the info here great but felt compelled to respond.

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    Hi gabrial...

    I understand what you are saying, at the end of your post...

    And, I want to thank you for sharing this... It's important that people see from other people's eyes, a discussion is one thing and if we have any thoughts, questions about things ,then chances are it bothers us and we're trying to see the bigger picture.

    The bigger picture such as you just showed.

    I too think, whether it's your father or your brother, the initial "love" you had, prior, is one of "family" and therefore, a love... that is then destroyed and broken and it would be in my opinion the same result.. The same pain...

    I understand you don't want anyone to turn this thread onto you, but I for one am sorry of what you went through, what your sister went through and I don't think that you can stop people from saying that.

    It's people like you that come onto this Forum and share, the reality of their live, within a topic, that helps everyone... including those who don't have the courage to admit a simular pain.

    Thank you and I hope it won't be your last post... But, I'm glad that you are apart of the Forum, reading..

    Take care...

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE LIGHT IN MY SOUL!

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    gabrial,
    Your story certainly shows why incest is such a taboo, and why it must remain so. Sometimes our society needs to re-learn the lessons that made this so over the past several thousand years of history.
    And maybe consider why other taboos came to be also.

    Your brother will get his reward, though.

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    well let's be clear here. the example described above is RAPE. although incest isn't something i think is a good idea between siblings, or child & parent, it isn't necessarily rape.

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