New Girlfriend, sex too soon and too much ?

**Jack(UK)** · 03-18-2010 07:30 AM

I want to share my experience with a woman I have recently started dating. To be honest, I don't know what it is exactly that is my problem, it's just that things have moved extremely quickly and it's that which is what I'm questioning. I'd appreciate other WOMEN'S opinions.

I met this lady via a dating site (1st and only time I've ever met anyone through a site before). We did everything really proper, in that we started MSN'ing (like for hours at a time), and then we finally got to talk on the phone and we spoke for around 4 hours. That same day, we decided to meet for a drink. We met at a pub and we instantly liked each other (it's amazing how well we both get on).

So, to re-iterate, we started MSN'ing on the Saturday, continued msn'ing on the sunday followed by lots of texting on the Sunday as well, more MSN'ing on the Monday morning, followed by a 4 hour telephone conversation on the Monday morning as well, when we arranged we'd meet up for a drink that same evening at 9pm. (btw, neither of us drink alcohol).

After our drinks (sparkling water), we went back to our cars and ended up in her's, she was sitting in the driving seat and I was sitting next to her in the passenger seat and I suggested she came over and sat on my lap, which she did. We ended up kissing and I put my hand between her legs. I was slightly surprised that rather than push my hand away, or maybe even worse, slap me and tell me to get out of the car, she opened her legs even more ?!?!?!!

By the way, she's 50 (soon to be 51) and I'm 47.

She didn't want to have sex that evening (I didn't) but suggested that we wait until Sunday (she had invited me to her house). I was fine with that.

The next day (tuesday morning), we were on the phone again for a long time, and it seemed we couldn't get enough of each other, and we were spending so much time MSN'ing that neither of us was getting any work done (we both work from home). So I suggested that we just meet for an hour during lunch (to get our hunger for each other satisfied - BUT I was not thinking sex, just meeting up). She jumped at the chance and so we did. We stopped off a wooded area and parked our cars and I got into her car, and same scenario

That was Monday and Tuesday respectively.

We didn't meet up on Wednesday, but I arranged to meet up with her for a drink on a Thursday evening. The Thursday evening meet was supposed to be only for a couple of hours.

We had our drinks (both on sparkling water) and when the pub was closing, we headed back to (yes, you've guessed it), her car ! Same old scenario, only this time I suggested that we'd be more comfortable in the back seat.

Now throughout all 3 of these meetings, I had never pushed her into doing anything (honest). In actually fact, I am divorced and hadn't had any sex for 18months, and my sex drive has slowed down a lot during that time. But it seems this woman loves sex bigtime.

Then, when it came to Sunday I went to her place where she cooked me a lovely meal. We drank wine in her lounge (1st time alcohol) with a real log fire and watched some DVDs. Then came the inevitable sex. Well, I will simple summarize that she had around 20 orgasms over the space of about 7hours.

All of this is 100% true. And it all happened last week.

I'm going to her place this weekend again, and I'm sure we'll be having more of the same, but I'm just not used to having so much sex so soon in a relationship.

I can't put my finger on it, it'd be easy to say that she's a ?!?!? But I just see it as though she just loves sex and all the joy it can bring. She's really besotted with me, and we' re both very, very compatible. She really likes me and I like her. We're both divorcees (she has grown up children and I have one 6 year old).

I'd just like to know what other WOMEN think about all of this.

I apologize if the language I have used has been at all crude - but what was more important for me to get across was how soon and available the sex was and I really want to make it clear that the desire for the sex kept coming from her side. She did confide in me that her marriage was a disaster sexually as her ex used to make her feel unloved and she totally hated sex with her husband. Her 2nd relationship (9years) was the first time that she really started to enjoy sex. But she has told me that she has never had so many orgasms as she has had with me.

And she can't understand it herself.

P.S. I know that she isn't faking her orgasms.

**WildChild** · 03-18-2010 07:46 AM

Hmmmm. what do they drive? Hummers? Camper vans? I've sex sex in trucks with bench seats and when you are 16 it works, when you are 40 + (I'm in pretty good shape) not so good. In a car with bucket seats, not unless you are midgets. Certainly not for 5 hours

**Jack(UK)** · 03-18-2010 08:03 AM

It's a small hatchback (european car). We're both fine in the car.

But I was really looking for comments on the quantity of sex and sooooo soon.....

**pretzel** · 03-18-2010 08:18 AM

Three questions,

1) Was it something you both wanted to do?
2) Did the two of you enjoy it?
3) Do either of you have any regrets?

I'd say if the answers are yes, yes, and no then it sounds like the physical connection was not only quick but intense.

Nothing wrong with 2 consenting adults having fun in a sexual way.

**Jack(UK)** · 03-18-2010 08:32 AM

Hi Pretzel,

1) yes
2) yes !!!!
3) NO !!!!

I know she is really besotted by me, it's just soooo quick and I wanted to here what other people thought.

**pretzel** · 03-18-2010 08:40 AM

Personally, how quick is really up to the people involved. Sounds like the quickness of it all may be a quirk but an enjoyable one.

My honest opinion (and I know you're looking for a female perspective which I'm not) is that it's how you two feel. Whether or not it develops into a long term relationship I don't think either of you know right now.

She's having fun, you're having fun. Who gives a rat's behind about everything else. That'll come in time.

**Joy** · 03-18-2010 12:00 PM

Well you are both mature enough to know what you want - She is a woman that knows what she wants - I see nothing wrong with your situation at all. If she trusts you and you trust her then its all good.

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-18-2010 12:08 PM

I think for you to call into question her slootyness over being with you so soon, you'd have to call into question your own

Perhaps she was into you, and in need of some physical satisfaction and the right time, the right place, the right person let her feel comfortable enough to get down and dirty fast.

Me and my boyfriend were intimate our first night together, though we didn't have intercourse. I am not easy, I am not promiscuous, I am not a sex fiend, I would not have reacted the same to just anyone.

It was a matter of chemistry and connection and letting myself be in the moment, and him too. And a few years later we still have that.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-18-2010 02:39 PM

40's?

Dating sites?

Been there..........

She may have had so many non-compatible men on those sites, then all of a sudden one clicked.

She drank soda... perhaps that's your first clue, because she didn't drink alcohol until the 3rd date.

She talked to you for 4 hrs before you both met... 4hrs is a long time to talk to someone your not compatible with

You guys MNS'd back and forth..... She's excited like a little girl.

Chemistry

- Instant chemistry..........

She's really besotted with me, and we' re both very, very compatible. She really likes me and I like her. We're both divorcees

And, that's your answer.................it does, can happen, just like that..............

CW

**LilahX** · 03-18-2010 07:12 PM

Did you meet with the intention of potentially having a r/ship, or just to meet someone to have some fun with? Many of those sites are used by people just wanting some uncomplicated fun? ARe you sure you're both 'on the same page' about why you met?

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong about having sex early when you meet someone. My personal philosophy is that sexual compatability is paramount in a r/ship and the sooner you find out whether you are or aren't the better. Nothing worse than getting emotionally involved and finding you can't be honest with someone about sexual matters b/c you don't know how they'll react. I've found it's better to get sex happening when you can be honest (b/c you don't have anything emotionally invested), then they know the 'real sexual you' and if more develops - fantastic.

I don't really understand what you're worried about. She's finally finding her sexual self and you happen to be the guy she's doing this with - win/win situation surely?