Thread: Premature question

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

You're calling her boring in bed, and she very well may be... you are saying you are fed up, as you really do sound like you are. All I am saying is that going against her wishes, she says stop and you say 'nah, i know what you like' can be very emotionally devistating for a female. You say you want more of a sex life with her and I hope that you get that. I am just warning you that by forcing something on her when she says no or stop is likely to get the opposite of what you want out of the situation.

It sounds like your premature ejaculations have taken a huge emotional toll on you. You are projecting that she doesn't like sex with you because she wants to be on top when you have it? Women are strange creatures when it comes to their orgasm. Some don't get one at all and can't even masturbate themselves to one but still enjoy the sex for the closeness of it, the intimacy.

Some can come really well really easily and anywhich way but some have very regimented ways to achieve orgasm and can only seem to find their o in certain positions and even then not all the time.

You guys really need to communicate or your just going to be frustrated.

If you think she is sexually selfish, does her selfishness appear out of the bedroom? Does it always have to be her movie choice or no movie? What she wants for dinner or no dinner? What I am asking is , is it always about her wants and needs and not yours or is it balanced in the non sexual ways?

she does like to get her way out of the bedroom often, tho its not terrible, she compromises somewhat. not great but i can deal with it. The bedroom stuff bothers me tho, its like how dare i even ask for anything, thats the impression i get from her. Like how dare u ask, ur lucky u get anythign at all. Maybe thats not true but it sure seems that way. Im just bored with it and i do feel unwanted cuz im usually the initiator and she doesnt even want me to go down on her. she only wants me to go down on her for a few mins cuz she cant get wet otherwise and its like a brick wall when i put it in. I feel like i have no purpose sexually to her, thats the wrost part, i just want her to want me to do stuff for her in bed. is that weird that ifeel like that?

Dude, you just described my wife. She rarely ever initiates, she never orgasms, she won't let me go down on her, she won't go down on me unless I shower, she didn't ever let me play with her breasts or suck on her nipples until recently. She's not a sexual person.
But she's learning to be now, with my help.

Anyway, back to your problem. You need to have a heart to heart talk with her to tell her how frustrated you are with yourself for cumming so quickly, and that you feel bad about not being able to last longer to please her more. Then when she realizes that you are there for her first, start up the conversation about what she could do to help you to spice things up more.

You are being too hard on yourself for your problem, and she probably isn't that interested in sex so she never initiates or wants to do anything different. There are asexual people in this world that are indifferent to sex and wouldn't miss ever miss it.