Cheating on husband constantly

**Yankee_Mama** · 04-02-2010 11:04 PM

I don't know what my problem is. I am not a sex addict or anything but I have cheated on my husband now with like 4 different men on multiple ocassians. These men just seem to turn me on where he can as well. These men just make me feel so good. He is on vacation now until next Friday and our daughter is away out of town. Leaving me alone at home and I can't stay faithful. Even when he's home I can't. I really do love him but the men I sleep with are amazing in bed. Like my gardner came over and I ended up having sex with him in my husband's bed. He came onto me and I didn't stop him. I even had sex with my husband's son who is about 25. I know it's wrong but I can't stop it!!

I just like two try new men everyday or so. I cheated on him today with a man I knew for like 3 days. I don't want to tell him either because he might leave me. I don't know what to do. Any advice?

**sourpuss** · 04-02-2010 11:20 PM

A new man every day?

**Yankee_Mama** · 04-02-2010 11:21 PM

No, just four different men many of times.

**sourpuss** · 04-02-2010 11:23 PM

If you know that it's wrong (which it is), then either stop doing it or leave your husband and be single where it doesn't matter how many men you sleep with.

**jns** · 04-02-2010 11:33 PM

If you want to cheat and get away with it you have to be much more discreet and further more, not do it so close to home. It would probably be best to quit and beg forgiveness if your husband finds out. Hopefully he is the forgiving type or doesn't mind you getting side action. Illicit sex can be very exciting and addicting.

**Yankee_Mama** · 04-02-2010 11:34 PM

I have tried. It's very hard to not give into sex.

Originally Posted by sourpuss

If you know that it's wrong (which it is), then either stop doing it or leave your husband and be single where it doesn't matter how many men you sleep with.

Thank you, JNS for your advice

Originally Posted by jns

If you want to cheat and get away with it you have to be much more discreet and further more, not do it so close to home. It would probably be best to quit and beg forgiveness if your husband finds out. Hopefully he is the forgiving type or doesn't mind you getting side action. Illicit sex can be very exciting and addicting.

**BasketCase** · 04-03-2010 01:37 AM

First off I would like to make it clear that I am not here to judge you. But if your asking for advice I will help you. I cheated on a man I was with for 3 years, my first love. We are not together anymore and he never found out, but I feel guilty everytime I think about it. It was the biggest mistake of my life. This was a man I loved. He loved me back and what I did was wrong. I feel like it was what ultimatly broke us up. I couldn't deal with what I had done and had to get away. As for you I hope you deal with it better. First you need to talk to your husband. Tell him everything. If he chooses to forgive you then you need to have a serious conversation about what the ground rules are in your relationship. Either work it out that you both may 'stray' from time to time or that you stop the cheating and devote yourself to him. A marriage without openess and honesty is doomed to fail. But if you decide not to tell him then you really should try to remain faithful. If you do love him then it wpn't be that hard.

**Little** · 04-03-2010 05:59 AM

I'm not sure whether you meant in your post that your husband DOES turn you on or DOES NOT.
If you're cheating, there's a problem. With you, with him, with them, with the dynamic between you and them. There's something you're not getting that you need ... maybe you need to be poly-amorous, if that's the case you should communicate those desires to your husband. Some people are into that. Others ... not so much. It could be the end of your relationship. But obviously there's something missing, so it could be for the best.

**Mes T** · 04-03-2010 07:18 AM

I think you gotta spend some time looking within yourself to find out WHY you're doing this. Maybe talk about it with a counselor? Because this is not normal behavior for someone who loves her husband.

And also, I don't know if this matters, but you might want to consider what kind of impression you're giving off to the people who know about this.

**AnneHathaway** · 04-03-2010 02:22 PM

I don't think you do love your husband. Love goes hand in hand with respect and if you had either of those feeling for him you wouldn't cheat on him.

Maybe you love him but are not IN love with him? Big difference. You probably also know him well enough to figure out how he would/will react to your infidelity.

But whatever his reaction, he needs to know the truth so he can decide what to do. You are betraying him and not being honest.

Also, have you though about how unfair it is that you are potentially exposing him, and yourself, to dangerous and deadly diseases? The days of hopping in the sack with someone and having pregnancy as your biggest worry are long over.