--->OBJECT<--- Of HIS Affection

**nmbr1** · 04-07-2010 12:12 AM

A Brief Bio.. I've been seeing a guy for going on 5 months and we have had sex Every Time we have seen each other, MINUS ONCE.

He asked if I could come by tonight and I did. I wanted to relax, Watch tv. I was tired, He could tell I was. As he sat between my legs, I lay my head on his back, Close my eyes, Wrap my arms around him and hold him, Slowly falling asleep. It Felt AMAZING. He told me I made him feel good. Hearing that meant alot to me... UNTIL he grabs my hand and puts it on his (edit).

I have to say this hurt me, In 5 Long Months we have had sex EVVVERRY DAYYY, Minus 1. I wanted to just enjoy each others company without taking it there

He tells me he needs me. We have sex. I made it VERY SPECIAL for him. I think that in the back of my mind I already knew this would be our Last Time.. I realized that I Don't Want This Anymore.

Am I Making A Mistake? If so, Y do I feel so USED?

**Hopeless Dork** · 04-07-2010 12:27 AM

If you feel used and he doesn't care about you feeling that way, then you are not making a mistake in ending the relationship.

But if you haven't told him how it makes you feel... you haven't given him a chance to behave in a way that respects your feelings.

He might want sex every day and if you go along with it and make it special and whatnot... he might not even realize he is making you feel used. So if you haven't told him how sometimes you would rather just cuddle with no expectation of sex you might want to try that approach first before ending the relationship.

If he thinks your request is unfair, then he is being very selfish and not considerate of your feelings.

**WildChild** · 04-07-2010 04:52 AM

TALK to him.

**LanaBear** · 04-07-2010 08:27 AM

I agree with the others. You need to talk to him. If you just go along with it every time, but haven't told him your feelings on it, he's had no opportunity to change. It will probably be a big slap to the face if you tell him you are ending it because you feel used.

Talk to him, give him the chance to do things differently based on what you tell him you want out of the relationship.

That is, of course, if you really want to stay together, if not and you are looking for an excuse to end it regardless, then continue on.

**caterpillar79** · 04-07-2010 08:55 AM

Assert yourself and talk to him. If you won't do it, who will? I understand how you feel. In fact this is one of the many factore that ended my first marriage. Practice asserting yourself and your wishes NOW.

**nmbr1** · 04-07-2010 10:14 AM

*Hopeless Dork*, You Hit The Nail On The Head… In Fact You All Have In Saying That I Should Talk To Him Because I Haven’t Talked To Him About This. Hopeless, .You have made me realize that I AM being Very Unfair, And U R Right, I haven’t given him a chance to fix this.

*WildChild*, You Were Short But To The Point, I Thank You Because It IS Just That Simple

*LanaBear*, I TOTALLY AGREE, I Haven’t given him the opportunity to change, I have gone along with it Every Time So I SEE Now how he could get the impression that there is Nothing Wrong. He is a good guy, He At Least Deserves The Chance..

*Caterpillar*, Assertion is EXACTLY what I need.. Thank You, I will keep that word in my head when I talk to him.

Thank You All For Your Words Of Wisdom, They Are So Greatly Appreciated.

**cuff** · 04-07-2010 04:46 PM

If he's showing you affection by doing normal boyfriend/girlfriend type things other than sex, I think you jumped the gun. You have to remember, we're wired differently, so you may be having "this feels amazing" thoughts, while he may be interpreting his feelings differently. He may be caught up in the moment, as you, but it's coming across differently.

Now, if you feel all the relationship is about is sex from his side. Then I can see how you'd feel used. You shouldn't want that anymore. If he has strong feelings for you, it will be shown other than sex.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-07-2010 06:30 PM

Don't let your past interfere with your present, and therefore, your future.

Most "ladies" at some point have felt used, betrayed, and just a sexual object.

But, when put into a situation where you've been together for months and your partner, loves the feeling he/she gets from the intimacy that you both share, it's called love... It's called, intimacy.. Whilst foreplay is part of it all, it's still a bond and one that is enjoyed and therefore, practiced over and over...

It's completely different than, in those 5 months, all he does is come over, sleep with you, fall asleep, leave and so the day begins the same again, on each occassion... That's when you can feel the way your feeling, it's that gut feeling.

Otherwise, as I said, don't let the past get in the way of your present, and therefore, your future...

Intimacy is a beautiful thing and there is and should be no fear.

Sex, is exactly that and you know, in your heart, that's what it is, there is nothing intimate outside of it, ever...

Learn the difference between the two in relationships, so you can give and feel free, or leave and say pfttttt, go get it elsewhere buddy

CW

**nmbr1** · 04-07-2010 08:49 PM

*Cuff*, *CW*, I Never Thought Of Things That Way.,

*Cuff*, I NEVER considered the fact that Men And Women Are “Wired Differently” (I Love How U Put That). I Feel So Silly. I Have Never Had A Relationship With A Man Before so there is a lot that I am IGNORANT To. Thank You For Opening My Eyes To That Fact. I too think that I jumped the gun.

In reference to what CW wrote, May I ask you a question? In Men, Is There A Difference Between SEX And INTIMACY? Or Do They More Or Less Come Across The Same???

*CW*, You too have made me realize that I haven’t been too smart in dealing with or even trying to understand this situation. If I had to pick now, After reading what you have written, Whether he and I have Intimacy or Sex, I would say INTIMACY, 100%. He definitely takes the time to Do Things that.. Any woman would love done, Things that Unfortunately, A lot of Men probably wouldn’t always do.

To be HONEST *CW*, After we sleep together, I wait for him to fall asleep so I could leave. He says he Hates When I Do That. You mentioned FEAR, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL, I'm Scared. I'm Scared To Talk To Him About Things, Real Things, Feelings..

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-07-2010 09:10 PM

Is that *Cuff or *Cough*

Horny - Sex -Raw on the spot passion
Sensual - Sex - Intimate
Sexual - Sex - Intimate/Raw & Horny/sensual

That's how I describe it.

Then there's - "Non feeling sex" or "Chemistry sex" where two people get together for needs, wants, sex, or she thinks it will turn into something but he is there purely for "chemistry", "attraction" or "getting some"...

So, you are really asking " non feeling sex" and as that's not the case with you, at all, then you have nothing to worry about do you, therefore, nothing to fear, therefore, you can feel free to be you 100% and stay and not run, when he falls asleep... He is in love with you, it's evident to me

CW