No sex: he won't change

**pretzel** · 04-08-2010 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by grrrr

Thank you all. I know. He's also on BP medicine.... it's a big old mess....

Oh, and he doesn't "do" anything else. it's up to me to get me off. Thank you for validating that I'm not being the selfish a-hole in the relationship. Now I can just accept it and hope that my urges go away.
Also, thank you for letting me know about the health risks that a low T have - that's very very good information to have.

You are all the best! Thank you again for your thoughts, advice, and caring.

I'm sorry. You do that and you've admitted defeat. There are an awful lot of us who have accepted it, and then come here complaining.

You're way too young (and I'm 51 so your husband at 50 isn't done yet) to have to "accept" this.

**grrrr** · 04-08-2010 10:02 AM

Thanks, Pretzle. Sometimes I just feel like I'm in a pickle or a bad dream.... I'm not the type to stray, and I won't leave him, so I guess just giving in is easier.

My family loves him.... I love his family.... I freaking love him.... I'm in too deep to leave - but I'm definately going to talk to him and his doctor about checking his T levels - even if I can't be intimate with him, I certainly want him to be as healthy as he can be.

Thank you again, all of you for your advice, and an outlet to vent!

**pretzel** · 04-08-2010 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by grrrr

Thanks, Pretzle. Sometimes I just feel like I'm in a pickle or a bad dream.... I'm not the type to stray, and I won't leave him, so I guess just giving in is easier.

My family loves him.... I love his family.... I freaking love him.... I'm in too deep to leave - but I'm definately going to talk to him and his doctor about checking his T levels - even if I can't be intimate with him, I certainly want him to be as healthy as he can be.

Thank you again, all of you for your advice, and an outlet to vent!

His health would be top priority.

It's a nightmare. I'm 3 years into it myself with my wife. I won't stray either, but the day is coming rather quickly when the costs (emotional, sexual) outweigh the benefits.

**grrrr** · 04-08-2010 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by pretzel

His health would be top priority.

It's a nightmare. I'm 3 years into it myself with my wife. I won't stray either, but the day is coming rather quickly when the costs (emotional, sexual) outweigh the benefits.

It's really awful when the vows totally take over... and the "good" people adhere to them. They should update them... "in sickness...blah blah... stubborness and selfishness...."

**pretzel** · 04-08-2010 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by grrrr

It's really awful when the vows totally take over... and the "good" people adhere to them. They should update them... "in sickness...blah blah... stubborness and selfishness...."

I need to use that for my sig line.

That was fantastic.

**grrrr** · 04-08-2010 10:31 AM

Seriously. The laws change daily. Why can't the fundamentals keep up? Turning bitter.... Okay. Now I'm back!

**rcoreyus** · 04-08-2010 11:15 AM

This is so common. I wonder what percentage or people are unhappy with their sex lives? (I am). It is miserable living with someone who isn't interested in intimacy and who doesn't understand how depressing it is to be rejected all the time.

**grrrr** · 04-08-2010 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

This is so common. I wonder what percentage or people are unhappy with their sex lives? (I am). It is miserable living with someone who isn't interested in intimacy and who doesn't understand how depressing it is to be rejected all the time.

This is exactly the point. When does it stop? I can understand being bitter about a job - hello it's called "work" for a reason - but I'm sorry, sex is actually something that's important. It actually makes people feel better - irony is an evil thing.

Loot at this site, there are a lot of people unhappy with their sex lives - the people who actually talk about it on here are a microcosm of the population.

At least this site makes me feel better - and there are actually some great people to add perspective and great advise to all of us woeful folk.

**grrrr** · 04-08-2010 12:10 PM

My "evil" side wants to email the "hubs" at work to tell him.... but I shall just watch.... watch and see what happens. Perhaps there is hope. Doubtful, but "perhaps" ---- we shall see.