What can I do to make sex better for me?

**Yvee** · 04-15-2010 06:52 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now and he has only managed to get me to come one time and even that was in the first 2 months of our relationship. The problem isn't that he can't last long enough but that at some point I just stop feeling anything and then I generally just tell him to finish, which he usually does within seconds. We have talked about it a lot and the problem really bothers him, but to behonest I don't really see any changed, for the better anyway.
I still really want to sleep with him, and although I'm always left unsatisfied I it just makes me want to want him more.
However, as I said, the main problem is that somewhere during intercourse I just stop feeling anything and basically lose interest. Now is there anything anyone can recommend that I do? and tricks, Best positions etc

**Mes T** · 04-15-2010 07:47 PM

Thing is that many women don't orgasm from intercourse. He has to stimulate your clitoris, manually or orally. Do you masturbate (and climax)? If so, you could teach your boyfriend to replicate what you do.

**rcoreyus** · 04-15-2010 09:51 PM

If you can make yourself orgasm, show him what you like (He'll enjoy watching). Then he can learn to use his fingers at the same time you are having sex.

**BasketCase** · 04-15-2010 10:36 PM

As Mes T said some women don't orgasm from intercourse. I am the opposite. it is easy for me to come during intercourse, but when it come to the clitoritis Im numb. lol All women are different. But these things might help.

Oral sex really gets you going in the sac. If you have to spend more time on foreplay, thats fine. Great for some girls.

During intercourse start with something simple like missionary. Lift your hips a bit and have him grind a little. This should help you feel a little more sensation

Play with a vibe or dildo. Find out (alone at first) what gets you to the big O. Then have him do something similar. Fingers are good too. If fingers aren't working for you try palm. Sounds strange but it works better for me. Maybe even a pilllow. Whatever's comfortable. because you can't expect a man to know your body if you don't.

But the question is have you been with other people? Did they get you off? What did they do? If not then you have to do all the exploring with him. Which can be half the fun.
And if you are new to sex and this is your first partner then you prob still have some learning to do, no shame in that. It took me several times to figure out what was good for me.

Next time you hop into bed. Don't go into it thinking of orgasms, penetration, or ultimate gain. Just go in open minded. Willing to try different things. Talk about it while your doing it. If he does something that feels good, tell him.

As for the numbness try lube. If you are not really feeling it, or if you are nervous. Then you may be getting dry. That could cause the numbness. Try the kind that tingles or warms. And to get you really going try KY intense, or some type of female arousle gel. It makes you want it

But just keep trying.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 04-16-2010 07:46 AM

Definitely try some "foreplay" type stuff to get you closer to your climax point before the intercourse begins. Whether by oral, finger stimulation, or toys, have him help you get REALLY worked up before intercourse beigins. I don't know about you two, but I've found that in the beginning of a relationship, the making out is SO intense that by the time you get to intercourse you're ready to explode. But after you get more complacent in a relationship, alot of the making out time is often shortened. Guys don't usually require any sort of foreplay.....but us gals, well, we need to feel emotionally worked up as much as physically.

**Anon_1990** · 04-16-2010 07:51 AM

I need to build up resistance, I too want to cum during making out! I guess thats through years of making myself cum during masturbation, in a few minuites because I'm only doing it for a quick orgasm. Now I'm single again I do the same thing.

**Yvee** · 04-16-2010 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

Definitely try some "foreplay" type stuff to get you closer to your climax point before the intercourse begins. Whether by oral, finger stimulation, or toys, have him help you get REALLY worked up before intercourse beigins.

And what do I do if foreplay doesn't really do anything for me. Sometimes its even painful. I mean at first Iloved foreplay but with me usually as the relationship progresses I start getting annoyed by any type of foreplay directed at me...
And I've never liked oral. Although that may not be my fault, but just the fact that no one has ever made me like it =\

**Beautiful Disaster** · 04-18-2010 10:48 AM

If you like it in the beginning, but slowly stop likng foreplay, have you considered this might not be fully a sexual issue but a commitment, trust, relationship issue?

Do you feel sexually attracted to him?

**jns** · 04-18-2010 12:03 PM

Explore manual stimulation using lubrication. Keep away from direct stimulation of the clitoris if it becomes painful, rather stimulate through the hood. Try doing it for a number of minutes, then relax with other activities, such as hugging and kissing, or even not intimate activity. Then go back after a while and do it again. Try to build up the sexual tension. Never let the stimulation get to the point where you feel no sensation. If you get one climax, try for a second. Or build up almost to the point of climax, and then have intercourse.