Thread: Sex is STRESSING ME OUT

This is a difficult situation. I do think its important to be sure there aren't other religious differences that could be a problem in the future. I single out religion here because many people think it is a subject where it is wrong to compromise.

Waiting years sounds very difficult. I wish I had a good suggestion for you.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

This is a difficult situation. I do think its important to be sure there aren't other religious differences that could be a problem in the future. I single out religion here because many people think it is a subject where it is wrong to compromise.

Yes, I understand what you mean. The one thing he won't compromise on is living together before marriage. His family doesn't live near us at all, but if they ever found out they would disown him. Finding this out broke my heart because all I want is to live with him, and knowing that I can't until we're married makes me want to cry. I have to do a lot of sacrifice for this relationship, but even then it's worth it because once we're married, we can do anything we want.

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Seems you have a good man there with good intentions and honour...

Wishing you all the best with it all, have patients and find the ways in which it can work for both of you.

CW

Thank you for your advice and wishes! This situation was making me crazy, but this forum really helped me think it through and stay positive. Now I'm even more certain of my relationship and how important it is to me.

Thank you!

Beckers, you and your SO live in the same city, away from his parents?
If so, well, you can still keep different residences but stay at each other's place as much as you want. Nobody will ever know, and will probably be afraid to ask.

As far as his religion issue and premarital sex: he's been having sex with your regularly for the past two years. Why all the sudden did he have a change of heart?

You need to be completely sure that his religious beliefs are compatible with your sexual needs before you marry him. He could change later in life to be much more conservative and reduce your sexual relations even further because he feels that it's dirty or sinful, or whatever the reason is. Find out now exactly where he stands. You will have to read between the lines with his responses because he'll tell you what you want to hear because he loves you and doesn't want to lose you.

At the moment we live near each other, but who knows where we will be after we graduate. We do plan on visiting all the time, but it's still not the same. Another important reason I wanted to live together is to save money. We're trying to save up, so we can be financially ready for a marriage and a family some day. It's hard to do that if we are living separately, spending a lot more on rent then need be.

The change of heart is due to how guilty he feels whenever we have sex. He's been slowing down a lot lately, which is why i started this page, but then I found out it's because of his faith and not his sex drive.

And yes, I see what you are saying. He said that when we are married nothing and no one will be able to keep him off of me (lmao), but we don't know how many years will pass before that happens. And I'm not sure if his sex drive will actually change by then. He's basically in his peak now, at 22, and he's not acting on it fully because of his faith. So he thinks there won't be a problem in the future, but neither of us no that for sure.