Hello lovelies - My friend needs your help :-(

**Joey** · 04-26-2010 02:28 PM

Hello beauties - Hope your all doing ok. My friend Emma is going to hog my account for a sec as she needs some advice, and i thought id introduce her to you guys as your all amazing. So yes, here she is.

Hiya everyone.
I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. We are totally in love with each other, and i have never felt anything like it with any other man. its just fantastic.
We all have our celebrity crushes. My boyfriends is Mercedes off Hollyoaks - which obviously is fine because i have many a celebrity crush! The only thing that has mad me so upset with this whole celebrity crush of his, is that last night, when we were having sex, he actually called out 'mercedes' in bed

I know that its not exactly the same as if he called out his ex gf's name in bed, or some 'real' person off the street he fancied if you see what i mean - but I am hugely affected by this. I am just soooo gutted and sooo upset that he was even thinking about 'mercedes' whilst we were having sex, as he is ALWAYS the object of my fantasies.

When he had called out her name, he was obviously shocked and embarressed. There was this horrific silence and he apologised etc etc, and just said 'i've never done anything like that before - i just dont know what came over me'. he also said that he wasnt actually thinking of her either - which confuses me as he must have been to have yelled her name out.

Im actually at the stage where i just cant face having sex with him. Firstly the whole fact of him calling out another name in bed, but also i cant take the idea of him thinking of another women whilst having sex with me. It makes me feel totally disgusting - almost as if im not good enough for him to think about whilst having sex so he has to think of someone else. Like i said earlier - i know that she is just a character from a soap, and nothing would ever happen between them (obviously!!!!) but i just cant get it out of my head. It hurts so much!

Have you ever been through the same thing? What are your general thoughts on this?

xxxx Em xxxx

**p3375** · 04-26-2010 04:49 PM

First, get over it. I think that happens to lots of people. Well, maybe not calling out names of celebrities, but names of other lovers past or present.

Next, learn to call each other 'honey' or 'lover' or 'baby' or other generic lover names, esp during sex. That way, when it does happen (yeah, it will happen to you too one day), your lover won't be needlessly upset.

P

**Joey** · 04-26-2010 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by p3375

First, get over it.

Shes gone for now (can actually have my laptop back!!) but she will be back online a bit later to see what advice etc people have put - but i can safely say that telling her to 'get over it' is easier said then done.

**WildChild** · 04-26-2010 05:13 PM

I would find that very off putting at the least. Some people, male and female do fantasize about others during sex, it's not all that uncommon. Talk to him about it.

**pretzel** · 04-26-2010 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

I would find that very off putting at the least. Some people, male and female do fantasize about others during sex, it's not all that uncommon. Talk to him about it.

Agree that it would be a big put off.

My opinion, if you're fantasizing about someone else, then you not putting you best effort into making love to the person you're with.

That's just not right.

**lushley666** · 04-26-2010 05:25 PM

I would be very very very angry - he should be thinking about me!! How rude!

**LanaBear** · 04-26-2010 06:04 PM

To be blunt, I'd be pissed. Celebrity, ex, or anyone else, if it wasn't my name, or my nickname, I'm sure he'd be kicked off the bed.

I think you need to talk to him and personally, I don't think resorting to generic nicknames is the solution.

**sourpuss** · 04-26-2010 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by pretzel

Agree that it would be a big put off.

My opinion, if you're fantasizing about someone else, then you not putting you best effort into making love to the person you're with.

That's just not right.

Agreed

**Joey** · 04-26-2010 06:41 PM

Hiya, its Em.

Thank you for your replies. Im glad that my reaction of anger and upset is normal.

We do call each other baby or babe, so that whole generic name calling in bed clearly didnt work this time, and i can assure you that i would never call out someone elses name other then my boyfriend in bed, because he is all i think about.

I spoke to him earlier today on the phone, and he is reallyupset about the whole situation. I told him how upset I am and how ugly i feel and felt when he said it. We are gong to have a big chat about it tonight. I still cant face actually having sex with him. I will constantly be wondering if hes thinking of other women.