Thread: He can't cum

Originally Posted by stressed

But they do. Just spend half an hour to browse our threads. Do all these guys have serious psychological or medical problems? All of them? There are women who do that too. Wouldn't you agree that a man who hasn't masturbated in 4 days would want sex more than someone who has been masturbating 3 times a day, every day? I don't feel the same need if I masturbate daily than when I don't for a whole week and I don't even have testicles.



So, if I man is used to ejaculating only in a certain way by using his hand, because that's what he does every day, that does not affect his ejaculation with his partner in any way at all. It doesn't affect his nerves, or his attitude, it's only because of a serious issue going on in the relationship. Hmmm... I disagree.

First question, what I'm saying is that him masturbating and not having sex with his partner is the effect of another problem. Everyone else is saying that masturbation is causing the man to not have sex with his partner. But what I'm saying is that the masturbation is a product of the problem of not having sex. They masturbate because they can't/don't want to have sex. Maybe it's as simple as the fact that they don't love their partner any more. I don't know what the reason is. But if a man was sexually aroused by his partner, was completely healthy physically, was healthy emotionally (wasn't depressed, or bothered by something else) he would be having sex with his partner because it's just the better deal.

Second question, if he's using his hand every day and not having sex with his partner it's because there's something in that relationship or something with him that is preventing him from having sex with the partner. I don't know how you drew the conclusion that masturbating causes nerve damage (I don't completely understand what you meant by that). As far as his attitude I also don't see why that would affect the man's attitude. You mean his attitude toward his partner? Yes, maybe. But if he had a good attitude toward his partner he probably wouldn't be masturbating instead of having sex. So maybe that's the problem that's keeping him from his relationship.

Please explain the nerve thing though. Almost ever single boy in the world masturbates before he loses his virginity. Then when he has sex he just has sex. And if he's not a virgin but is in a dry spell he'll masturbate for that period of time. Then when he meets someone to have sex with again he'll have sex again.

Originally Posted by stressed

But they do. Just spend half an hour to browse our threads. Do all these guys have serious psychological or medical problems? All of them?

I know that might seem far fetched to you. But you're being biased. It can seem like all these stories represent the entire population. But they don't. They represent the men who have that problem. So you see this huge collection of men and think "this can't be all of them".


For instance, let's say that you sit at the bottom of a river that is know for a having a huge variety of fish. But for whatever reason only salmon swim to the bottom of the river where you sit. The rest stay upstream. Eventually you would say to yourself "this river is only full of salmon. There are no other fish here." But there are. You just have to go look at the river from a different angle.

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

That lead to men being much more creative, much more able to orgasm to a variety of stimulus. Thereby not conditioning themselves to only respond to a specific criteria.

Where before it was real uncommon for a man of 25 to not be able to get an erection with his gf, or be able to orgasm during sex... its becoming a more and more widespread issue (the 'porn creep' I was reffering to earlier)

Yes, you're right. It's entirely possible that the men can't get off because they're conditioned to only ejaculate with porn. I'll buy that. I don't believe that is the cause of all the problems, or even most of them. But I can buy that it sometimes happens.

Remember, correlation does not equal causation. Just because you see porn and masturbation present in the problem it does not mean that it is causing the problem.

Originally Posted by redbull

Yes, you're right. It's entirely possible that the men can't get off because they're conditioned to only ejaculate with porn. I'll buy that. I don't believe that is the cause of all the problems, or even most of them. But I can buy that it sometimes happens.

I don't think its the cause in all cases, but I do think it might be worth it for a guy to lay off the porn / masturbation when having this issue to see if it doesn't improve the problem as it would be the least invasive way to recover if it was.

I've read some young guys post here, that they are concerned that they can't orgasm with their partner, or have trouble getting it up...

" I masturbate twice a day and never have any problem "

"Um... do you masturbate twice a day and THEN try to have sex with your partner?"

"yeah? why?!"


I think some guys have masturbation so ingrained in their daily routine like showering and brushign their teeth that they don't see how it can possibly have an effect on their sex life when they obtain one.

For some guys, it doesn't and wouldn't... but for the average guy, orgasming twice in one day is already going for broke...and thats using his exact specific necessary visual stimulus and being touched in the exact way his body responds to...

Going for a 3rd round with a woman that isn't bent over the hood of a car in 7 inch heels and is providing a vagina rather than a death gripped palm... is going to make it harder than it has to be. Is all I am sayin' :P