Eye contact?

**stressed** · 04-28-2010 07:47 AM

How common is it that your man doesn't look at you during sex or oral? My fiance has his eyes closed 95% of the time. It's not that I turn to look at him often either, it's not easy to do during oral and it's impossible during sex as he's all over me, but when I do his eyes are closed. I thought men enjoyed looking?

I asked him once about it and he told me that he closes his eyes because he wants to enjoy to feeling to the fullest, but reading a few posts here made me want to tell him about it again.

Any ideas?

**jns** · 04-28-2010 08:34 AM

Guys like to close their eyes for many reasons. First most is to fantasize about an ideal situation. This does not mean about another woman. Could be but probably not. Maybe about the shape of the gf's waist and butt. Maybe about her privates. Maybe about her breasts. Maybe about hundreds of different things that, in the right context, turn him on. Keeping the eyes open may take too much brain processing, when the brain is best put to use to reach the point of no return. A mental picture can be better, because it is about something that is a turn on and requires much less processing.

At the same time, the other senses are heightened by closing of the eyes, similar to turning off the lights, but with the ability to glance out before going back in the fantasy. Touch is heightened, sound is heightened, smell is heightened as is taste. When doing oral, I often like to close my eyes to hear better, smell better and taste better. Many times you are so close to the object of your action, it is out of focus or may be the same scene continuously. No point in looking, except occasionally, get heightened senses instead.

If a guy is lying on his back, looking up at the lights in the room, he may close his eyes to not have them hurt by the brightness. Women may close their eyes for the same reason. Of course, he could be going to sleep if he is very tired or bored.

The best time to look directly at the gf, at least in my opinion, is when you are in a kissing session, because you can look directly in your gf's eyes and see the urge to kiss in her. Of course, looking in the gfs eyes when you climax is also a big turn on, especially if she returns the look.

**ItsASecret** · 04-28-2010 08:14 PM

My guy has his eyes closed during oral as well. He says it is just to enjoy the feeling which makes sense cause I do the same. However I do not know how often he is closing his eyes or not because I have this insane fear and anxiety of looking at people in their eyes in the first place. Having his penis in his mouth and then looking up is actually quite embarrassing because I am not a 'look at what I am doing' type of girl. During sex he is looking at me or trying to look at my privates, he knows if he looks me in the eyes I will close my eyes soon. Guys are more visual but I guess sometimes they just want to close their eyes feel it through their other senses.

**alterview** · 04-28-2010 09:59 PM

Personally I am a eyes wide open/lights on type of guy. I really enjoy a lot of the visually aspects of sex. It's not always eye contact that I am focused on... When your lover looks at you in that way as a sexy person it is quite a turn on. Also, for me, having a super sexy lover that I adore and love very makes for very pleasing visuals too.

Stressed-

I wouldn't stress about it though; to each their own. If you would like more eye contact ask for it in a sexy way. That can be a turn on also.

cheers!

**A Dying Breed** · 04-28-2010 10:53 PM

At least for me, I can't have good sex unless me and the girl can lock eyes with eachother. I'll keep my eyes closed alot during oral (both giving and receiving), but if I'm in the position to face my girl, I'll never take my eyes off hers. Locking eyes during sex is immensely hot.

**Rakastaja** · 04-28-2010 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by A Dying Breed

At least for me, I can't have good sex unless me and the girl can lock eyes with each other. [...] I'll never take my eyes off hers. Locking eyes during sex is immensely hot.

I agree, it is hot for sure... but if I don't lock eyes with my (amazing

) lover: i can still have sex, no doubt!
His whole body is a complete turn on to me and watching ALL of him is the main reason why I like it better with the light on.
I am soo done with "having" to close my eyes with the wrong person just so I can fantasize been somewhere else (at least!)
I believe that closing your eyes at times is great but if my lover was closing his all the time that would probably worry me a bit.
There is so much to see and watch, I don't want to miss out!
and btw: if the watching is great it can carry on as your own little porno movie in your head after, for days...

**stressed** · 04-28-2010 11:40 PM

I think I'm more like ItsASecret, I generally don't look people in the eye (unless I talk to them, of course, but you get the idea), let alone during oral. But I do take peeks at times and he has his eyes closed. I've found eye contact a huge turn on in the past, so I suppose I have to practice it.

I'm not worried about it, I don't think he fantasizes about anyone else, at worse it would be imagining a fantasy that would include me, or just some kind of fantasy, but nothing I'd find inappropriate. It's more like wanting to know how common it is for men to have their eyes closed during oral. As for sex, it seems like it depends on the position (and we have some way to go on that subject).

I'll follow alterview's advice and ask him to look in a special way those times I want him to look at me.

You guys are great, I love your answers.

**Yvee** · 04-28-2010 11:40 PM

I personally always take closed eyes as a good sign. Maybe it has to do with the fact that when I'm in pleasure I close mine, I don't really know. And my boyfriend on doesn't close his eyes at all and it annoys the *** out of me

But honestly I wouldn't worry about it!

**stressed** · 04-28-2010 11:52 PM

Come to think of it, a few days ago he told me that I looked at him in a special way, which he found very sexy and beautiful and this led to sex (I don't recall looking at him like that intentionally, but it's nice to be told so anyway). Also, a year ago he told me he likes looking at me during oral. Maybe he does look at me but our timing is wrong... and since I don't look often I can easily get a wrong impression.

Your posts have actually helped me realize where it can also be my fault. If I'm not the one who looks at him often, or show/tell him I enjoy it, then I can't expect him to look at me every one of those few times I do, or expect him to look every time. Simple and dumb of me I guess, but I hadn't thought of it like that before...

**stressed** · 04-28-2010 11:54 PM

Originally Posted by Yvee

I personally always take closed eyes as a good sign. Maybe it has to do with the fact that when I'm in pleasure I close mine, I don't really know. And my boyfriend on doesn't close his eyes at all and it annoys the *** out of me

But honestly I wouldn't worry about it!

That's a very interesting point of view! Thank you.