First Time Sex & Emotions?

**pinknfwuffy** · 04-30-2010 03:03 AM

I don't particularly like saying this, but two weeks ago I had sex for the first time. It was wonderfully relaxed, safe, and with someone I care about. The thing is, I have been highly emotional about it ever since and feeling very confused. A few hours afterwards (when I was alone) I felt this surge of emotion that I can't quite explain, other than it wasn't saddness or regret -- even though I did in fact cry. It just felt like something needed to be let out.

I worry because I very much like him, enjoyed the time we spent together, and continue to see him regularly. He knows how I feel, communication has been very important for both of us, but (1) I can never explain how I feel completely because I don't know even know what it is and (2) I'm afraid if I keep being so emotionally preoccupied it may potentially interefere with what we have going.

Even now, this doesn't even seem to make any sense to me. If anyone has any advice or opinion I would be so grateful. Thank you.

I realize this might not be the appropriate board for this topic but sex is the core factor and I was hoping to gain insight from that aspect just as much as the emotional/relationship perspective.

So confused.

**sungem77** · 04-30-2010 04:16 AM

i think it's normal and healthy to have a lot of feelings when you're in a sexual relationship and when you have strong feelings for the other person. being intimate with someone is a very vulnerable thing. its not something you do with everyone you meet. and being sexual with someone especially if the sex is good and exciting can engender many strong feelings.

**jns** · 04-30-2010 04:22 AM

It sounds like your body and brain released and continues releasing a bunch of in-love chemicals that you are reacting to. Being emotionally on the edge and crying easily are part of reaction. Your logical self cannot process this, after all you like your friend very much, but you are not in love with him, or are you (rhetorical)? Love, itself, can be irrational and being in-love is often very irrational. It is very hard to rationally explain something that is irrational. You have to decide whether you want to pursue this irrational path or the logical, rational one.

**stressed** · 04-30-2010 06:12 AM

It's normal you feel this way, like jns and sungem said.

I was awake for 36 hours (!) after my first time and felt very different, confused, good, had mixed feelings, couldn't think straight, wasn't sure what would happen next etc.

Fortunately and eventually, this stage passes. You don't have to worry about it at all.

**pinknfwuffy** · 04-30-2010 05:29 PM

Thank you so much, all of you, for replying. It is reassuring to hear a lot of these feelings are normal, and may ease with time. It just amazes me how one act (granted, a complex one) can make you feel so crazy and feel so unstable! I thought I was losing my mind. Again, thank you.

**shaunzie89** · 04-30-2010 08:15 PM

I totally know how you feel. When I first has sex I felt very emotional, confused, had mixed feelings about it, etc. Sex and intimacy is a very emotional and connecting experience. Just give it some time.

**Ieshia** · 05-01-2010 10:23 PM

I feel like it's really all in your head. You have been taught that sex is something that will completely change you, or you should wait until marriage or until you're in love, or that girls who have sex are bad, girls aren't suppose to like sex, sex is a bigger deal than it is, your sexual behavior defines you as a person etc. These kind of things can trigger such emotions after sex. It's not actually something different about you, it's how you are handling the situation because of the way you've been socialized.

**Faerunner** · 05-01-2010 10:45 PM

I too experienced this after my first time. When it happened the only way I could explain it was that I was crying because of the possibilities. Not necessarily good or bad, but a mix: "oh god, I just fell even more in love with this person, and look at the life we could have ahead of us; I'm so lucky; what if he leaves; what if he doesn't leave, what will/can/should we do together, what will mom think, I'm so happy, was it good for him?"...all wrapped up in one big emotional ball. It does fade, but I think it's worth experiencing.

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