Thread: What happens on ur 1st time?

Having sex at thirteen is not advised, mostly because it's illegal.
But it's illegal for a reason. Your body and mind are still growing and developing. You haven't reached even your full height yet, let alone your full sexual maturity.
Your boyfriend has misgivings for good reason. He could probably get in a LOT of trouble for having sex with you, and yes, he could end up hurting you. First time sex depends on the person, it could hurt a LOT or it could not hurt at all. And really, preparing your body to have "normal" sex is a long time coming. It may not stop hurting for many times, 3 or 5 or 15 or 6 months after you begin having sex. You have to be mature to be able to be patient and composed through that.
The best thing you can do to ensure that your first time will be beautiful and as unpainful as possible is to WAIT. Maybe you should re-think it when you become 16 and you get married? In that case, it would be legal AND you would be a little bit more mature.
Though that begs the question, why are you getting married at 16? You have your whole life ahead of you to tie the knot. If your marriage is destined to last, it can also wait until you don't have to have parents' signatures on the certificate. Your life and his will change drastically as you become adults, leave high school, and leave your parents' home. Being married can make this harder.
Give yourself lots of time to think over all your decisions. Don't pressure yourself OR your boyfriend into sex if either one of you isn't really ready. At your age, you may feel like your body WANTS to have sex, but I assure you that it isn't ready. Waiting never hurt anybody, but having sex too early can do all kinds of damage.

At your age I was far too curious about my body I didn't have the attention span to be curious about someone else's and that's what sex is, wanting your partner and your partner wanting you, where you spend all your time on them, versus yourself. Don't have sex, you're still learning about your own body. And I state again, there is no harm in waiting.

I suggest, masturbation. I might get flammed for that one, but I was masturbating at 11 and I knew my body better than any of my girlfriends did, I knew how to bring my own orgasm easily by the time I first had sex (19). As a plus if you've masturbated, even used some small toys, it likely won't hurt the first time, less he's like extra, extra large. My first time didn't hurt at all, but I also had an experienced partner.

I'm almost afraid to answer because of your age. I agree with other posters that you are too young (we were all 13 at some point, and we remember what it was like).

If you go ahead anyway, be absolutely sure you do not risk pregnancy or disease. Either can destroy the rest of your life. I can't emphasize enough how important this is - that sort of mistake is something from which you may never recover.

If you do decide to be sexually active (again I think a bad idea), you could avoid intercourse and do other things for each other.

16 is also much too young to get married, at that age you have no idea what you want out of life. (again I was 16 once (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) and I remember what it was like).

I heard that the younger you lose your virginity the more it hurts. The painful part is the breaking of the hymen, which over time gets thinner. It would also take more time for your body to heal and actually enjoy sex. So that in itself is a great reason to wait. I actually feel that waiting until graduating is a good idea before actually having sex. The complicated relationships with the people around you, trying to figure out what you want to do with your life and also you are just growing into the person you want to be. Adding sex into the mix can just add extra heartbreak.

Have you thought ahead at all? What if you become pregnant? It can happen, and it does happen more times than not. You won't be able to finish school, you or him or both of you are going to have to get a job to support the baby and yourselves. What are your parents going to do if you become pregnant. Do you really want to raise a child right now, do you think you could possible give the child everything it deserves at such a young age? These are the important questions that need to be faced when you begin to have a sexual relationship. At 13 you still have alot of living and fun to be had, sex is serious, it's not something to play around with. And you have PLENTY of time to get to that point. What are your reasons for needing to rush and have sex? Both of you should sit down and make a list of why you need to have sex right now and what the benefits are if you wait. I think if you put it down on paper you will both find the right answer.
I don't want to tell you what to do or not to do, because I know as a young lady when adults tell you "don't do that" it makes you want to do it even more. But if you think you are mature enough to have sex, then you need to be mature enough to face all the consequences of having sex. Not just pregnancy, but diseases, and the emotional feelings you are going to have before, during and after. It is a VERY emotional moment for a woman, and it can never be taken back once it's done, it's done.

I won't tell you not to. If you want to, go ahead. But be VERY aware of the consequences. Know that if you have sex and get pregnant at 13, you will be stuck with a terrible decision (to keep the baby, adopt, or abort) which will have consequences that will follow you for the rest of your life.

I've known plenty of women both through my job and as friends who chose to have sex at 14 or 15, and most of them got pregnant. None of them are successful now and none of them are happy. One of them ended up with 3 kids and a slacker husband, living in a broken-down trailer park at 21 years old, dancing in clubs for a living and trying to deal with one daughter who was severely developmentally disabled, possibly because the mother smoked and drank during the pregnancy. Her first kid was born when she was 14. She was trying her hardest to clean up and get out of the trailer park, but it looked like she never would, even with outside help from Child/Youth Services who came by every week to make sure the trailer was clean enough (it rarely was, because she worked so hard to feed the kids that she was too tired to clean). It was a tragedy, because the woman was smart, pretty, and worked very hard, but she was frustrated (which made her angry, and angry parents are not good parents), didn't have much support from family, and had too many mistakes in her past.

Don't be that woman.

Masturbation is a great option. Start on your own, especially if your boyfriend is scared of sexual intimacy, and when you know what feels good to you, he can learn too! Touching each other through clothes, cuddling, hugging and kissing, sleeping next to each other, mutual masturbation and a whole lot of other things can be alternatives to sexual intimacy which can still help your relationship feel "close" and "sexual" without some of the risks of actual penetrative sex, and can be good build-up for your wedding night

Whatever you decide, please be safe. Learn how to use condoms or get on birth control and make sure it's working (it can take a while for pills to re-set your body's hormonal balance, and make you infertile) before you have sex... and because you are so young and it -is- technically illegal, I'd advise at least waiting until the age of consent so that your boyfriend doesn't go to jail if your parents find out.

Don't do it. Plain and simple. You will regret it.