Thread: Really need advice, don't no where to turn

Hi, first off I am new to this but don't really know where to go for advice. Thought the people here might be able to help. Also, I am 23 year old male from PA. Okay here it goes...not going to punctuate i just need to get it off my chest..

last night my friend came over, my age and actually wrestles for a college here. anyway we got really drunk at my parents house, and i normally dont drink alot, but somehow i did and i got really messed up. next thing i know we end up in my sisters room and he keeps telling me to put something on, and he like opened her closet and found her cheerleading uniform (shes 17 and a senior in hs) and threw it at me, and again i dont know why i would even think about it but i dont remember what happened i just remember putting on a purple bra and thong that for some reason i picked out, with like hearts connecting the bra in the middle and on the sides of the thong then her uniform and somehow got a hairband on as well sort of stumbling around here room. things get really blurry from there but next time i came to i was on the bed, with my rear in the air and he was having sex with me. im really really scared and not gay and just dont know what to do...can anyone help with what i should do now??

thanks,
-chris

I've been watching this thread all day. Nobody seems to want to touch this topic, not even with a 10 foot pole. Or a 10 inch one!

I just don't know what to say to help you out. Seems to me that going into your sister's clothes wasn't very respectful towards her. How is she going to feel when/if she finds out that you were wearing her thong underwear, bra, and cheerleading outfit while your friend was pounding you from behind on her bed? That's pretty wasted if you went along with all that and then all the sudden realized that your "friend" was raping you.

If this post is legitimate, and you didn't like what was being done to you, you need to cut off your friendship with that guy and be more careful to not set yourself up for that kind of humiliation. If you are afraid that you actually liked it, well, then, you could be bi or completely gay. I don't know what kind of advice to give you to help you deal with that. But you'll work through it and figure it out. I'm sure that there are plenty of support groups available that can help.

If you do realize that you are bi or gay, you should get your own dress up clothes rather than wearing your sisters or moms.

I'd give it 85% on the troll-o-meter.

For the 15%. Your were probably both wasted and don't really know what happened. Best thing you can do is NOT get so wasted again - always a really bad idea.

I agree that all of this was probably just the alcohol.
Either way there is no reason to be scared! Just don't let it happen again (don't let yourself drink so much) and maybe avoid drinking with that friend at all.
Best thing of all is to talk to your friend and see what he has to say...

If it helps try to look at the experience as educational. After all no one truly knows their orientation until they try it both ways!

This is a very touchy subject. It's terrible that person took advantage of you like that, but if this teaches you anything it is to be more careful when you drink, and who you drink with.

Also, if you do end up drinking, stay out of your poor sisters room. If I were her and found out about this, I would probably be disturbed to say the least.

With that out of the way, I hope you are okay. If it happened the way you said, there was probably no lube involved or anything, so I hope you didn't tear anything.

Last, maybe you did enjoy anal sex, but that doesn't automatically make you gay. Most straight men have this idea that anything involving their bums changes their sexual orientation, which is not true. You are only gay if you have feelings for someone of the same sex. Waking up in a drunken stupor while experiencing someone hitting your g-spot is completely overwhelming, and you shouldn't consider yourself gay for enjoying it.

You need to take some serious "you time" and figure out how to prevent that from happening again, and also to find out whether it was the act that made you enjoy it, the alcohol, or the fact that it was a man doing it to you.

I hope all is well.

* I read your message wrong. For some reason I thought you said you liked anal. Let me edit that:

Last, did you enjoy anal sex? If you did than that doesn't automatically make you gay. Most straight men have this idea that anything involving their bums changes their sexual orientation, which is not true. You are only gay if you have feelings for someone of the same sex. Waking up in a drunken stupor while experiencing someone hitting your g-spot is completely overwhelming, and you shouldn't consider yourself gay for letting him continue.

You need to take some serious "you time" and figure out how to prevent that from happening again. And also you should think about whether or not anal sex is something you enjoy. If it is something you would like to do while sober, imagine it with a man and than with a woman and figure out if you like one or the other, or both!

I understand why you are questioning your orientation, but this might just be a really strange way of finding out you like anal!

Good luck to you.

This is a very sad story, I hope you are ok. Of course we all need to be careful of situations we put ourselves in (by drinking and who we hang out with) but I don't think this is your fault or that you should feel guilty that you brought this on yourself. Not that that is the way that you are feeling, I just know from experience, drinking too much, ending up in bed with someone and not remembering how it happened. Unfortunately there will always be people willing to take advantage of others in vulnerable situations and drinking yourself into such a state that you don't know what is happening - well that is not "asking" for it, but you are putting yourself in danger of being in a vulnerable situation.

When you came around and realised what was happening - what did you do? Did you panic or say stop?

I think this is a pretty full on issue to find yourself dealing with, maybe seeing a professional counsellor would be helpful.