Thread: porn help

I don't personally have issue with porn, then again i don't have issue with my guy looking at chicks in the street either, i'm bisexual and i look at people, my friend is straight and she looks at people.....it's harmless really but why not try watching porn with your man, it can bring some excitement..... other than that i'd say there are way to many real things that cause problems in a relationship, like real cheating etc, i'd suggest to just let it go, honestly unless it's some kind of sick or illegal freaky porn it's just visual aids, don't take it personal but everyone fantasises and i hang around with ALOT of guys, and not one of them hangs to long with chicks that are to hung up on themselves

oh my gosh, that sounded so harsh, please read that in a way knowing there is no harshness meant in my words, i'm kinda straight out but i never mean harm!

Originally Posted by CJT61106

Exactly! Im so glad that your husband gave it up! Congrats!

He didn't give it up. They never do. A man is going to look at porn whether you like it or not. And no matter how much you tell him it hurts you or that you're jealous... he will only tell you he doesn't so that he doesn't have to hear it. Men think it's because you are too insecure with yourself, your relationship, and your body that you don't like him watching porn. My advice, suck it up and learn to like it! Men cannot change the fact that they are pigs. Plain and simple. I don't care how perfect he is. Men like porn. Period

Originally Posted by CJT61106

The only way to put this is-He is addicted to porn and he's commiting adultry and you should either divorce him or tell him if he doesnt seek help and quit watching immediately you are goin to leave him-it is grounds for divorce- he is commiting adultry by lusting after these other women-he is thinking of them as ya'll are having sex and you dont turn him on as much as they do-he's not in love w/you or he would stop-its that simple-its hard to take in and you probably hate me for this-but im tellin you the truth-you have got to see it-as said above-what do you think he would do if you started watchg male porn-double standard-he's perverted and needs to get a life-i know its your husband-but he is not in love w/you! you do not need to be married and wasting your life and your SEX(i didn't use love making because intercourse w/out love is SEX)you could be someone who loves you and is obsessed w/you and YOUR Body and gets rock hard from YOUR body and YOUR body only! Get out while you can-or make him see the light-and if he doesnt quit when you threaten to leave that right there should be reason enough to see it's more important to him that you are! Good luck and sorry for the bitter truth-but Im tellin you as a woman of God please take my advice! these forums like these just make me want to hunt these men down! so all i can do is write! w/love your sister in Christ!

I must agree with this one. It's not YOU. You could be the hottest thing since toast bread, and it won't matter. Your man is addicted to porn... and will always be. It's a sickness.... and often leads to more issues even worse than just looking at porn. It can lead to physical abuse, infidelity, etc. Your best bet is to get out while you can, and find a man who is turned on by YOU. It will make a world of difference in your relationship in every way. Don't live with a porn addict.

Originally Posted by KD22

First of all...don't feel bad about getting upset at the porn watching. You're entitled to get upset! Secondly, try not to blame your body as the first reason behind it. He may love your body but not so into the positions you're into. Sometimes married couples have to get creative with food, or wigs, or furniture but I definitaly definitaly don't agree with porn. It can make a man think that women are SUPPOSED to look a certain way, and SUPPOSED to be subserviant, and that its ok to treat them poorly. and its not. Make sure he knows how you FEEL about the porn issue not just how mad you are. Let him know that you want to feel desired - not just that you want to "get some"

Other than that honey - *sigh* I just wish you didn't have to go through this - but many of us do (me included) but thankfully I have a wonderful husband and when he found out I wasn't just jealous but also HURT and lost my self confidence because of it - he was willing to give it up ...there is hope

He didn't 'give it up'. They can't.... any more easily than they can quit smoking. He's just not letting you know he's still doing it. He'll check it at work, or when you're not home, but he's still into it..... it doesn't just 'go away' that easily.

Suzette.

Your bitterness is blinding you. Perhaps you've been hurt by porn - why would that cause you to rob this person of her encouragement?

Are you truly of the opinion that there are no men who have been able to put porn away for the sake of their marriages?

Perhaps you should visit this site, simply an example of many out there:

Blazing Grace: Sex addiction - porn addiction - pornography - recovery

Originally Posted by chairman

Suzette.

Your bitterness is blinding you. Perhaps you've been hurt by porn - why would that cause you to rob this person of her encouragement?

Are you truly of the opinion that there are no men who have been able to put porn away for the sake of their marriages?

Perhaps you should visit this site, simply an example of many out there:

Blazing Grace: Sex addiction - porn addiction - pornography - recovery

Yes, I have seen porn destroy marriages, destroy children, and destroy lives, so I guess I have some bitterness. I will not say NO man can cast it aside once he is hooked, but it will not be something done easily. If he doesn't see the evil it creates, he will not do it. He won't do it just because his woman wants him too. They get something from that that very little can take the place of. It's not a sexual thing, it's a control issue, and a sick fantasy issue. Like someone mentioned earlier, ... they enjoy seeing women as sluts, as objects, not as equal humans.... and it takes a desire and plenty of counseling to get past that. I am also not referring to teenage curiosity, ... I am referring to grown men, who have relationships, and still choose to view porn of any sort 'on the side'. No woman can seriously say that porn isn't belittling to women in any form. If a woman says it's okay, ... then she has little respect for herself, and for other women. My opinion of course.

Originally Posted by SuzetteV

Yes, I have seen porn destroy marriages, destroy children, and destroy lives, so I guess I have some bitterness. I will not say NO man can cast it aside once he is hooked, but it will not be something done easily. If he doesn't see the evil it creates, he will not do it. He won't do it just because his woman wants him too. They get something from that that very little can take the place of. It's not a sexual thing, it's a control issue, and a sick fantasy issue. Like someone mentioned earlier, ... they enjoy seeing women as sluts, as objects, not as equal humans.... and it takes a desire and plenty of counseling to get past that. I am also not referring to teenage curiosity, ... I am referring to grown men, who have relationships, and still choose to view porn of any sort 'on the side'. No woman can seriously say that porn isn't belittling to women in any form. If a woman says it's okay, ... then she has little respect for herself, and for other women. My opinion of course.

I have lived with this in my marriage of 20 years and I have to agree with everything Suzette has said here. It's like a horrible disease that has stricken your marriage. Whether the wife tolerates it the best she can and stays in the marriage... or she says "I want a better life than this" and leaves... it DESTROYS marriages. I use to think I was just jealous or being unreasonable about the porn but after 20 years of this ****, I've come to realize why it bothers me so much. It's because I want the same loving respect for my feelings that I've always given to him. It's because it continually drains any respect I have for him. It's because it has dictated our sex life (what little there is).... he rarely wants it with me (a living breathing human being) or when he does, he is selfishly satisfied only by degrading me. It's a control issue over women. During normal "healthy" sex, he's very bored. Porn will destroy your relationship... and you!