Thread: porn help

he is perfect in every way to me besides the porn thing. i have talked to him about it and he has told me that it's just something he likes to do by himself. every now and then it really pisses me off and i can't help but think theres something wrong with me. and i do feel like he's in some way cheating behind my back...b/c let's face it he is looking at other chicks... but it really only bothers me when he does that but then doesn't give me anything. one day i was buging him all day trying to get him into me...but nothin. then just kidding around i turned on a porn for a few seconds and he was like rock hard, at first i didn't really think anthing of it i was just happy to get some. but while we were having sex i couldn't help but think.. i wasn't the one to turn him on, or why does he need to look at other chicks to get horny. so of course sex wasn't that good for me and it showed, so when he askes what was wrong i told him what i was thinking, about him getting rock hard over porn, and all he said was " it's hard to explain". I just don't think he's atracted to me anymore. it's really starting to cause big fights

I think one reason men like porn, is because for some sick reason they like to see women treated as sluts

Originally Posted by lori0479

I think one reason men like porn, is because for some sick reason they like to see women treated as sluts

...why would a woman live with a man with that opinion and feeling about women?

I absoulutely agree with you. I feel the same way b/c it has happened to me. I told him I feel ugly in his eyes and yes I also feel as though he has cheated on me. Just recently I told him I was going to start looking at men and he didn't like that very well.

It has nothing to do with you. He's addicted to porn.

Originally Posted by mellybelly

he is perfect in every way to me besides the porn thing. i have talked to him about it and he has told me that it's just something he likes to do by himself. every now and then it really pisses me off and i can't help but think theres something wrong with me. and i do feel like he's in some way cheating behind my back...b/c let's face it he is looking at other chicks... but it really only bothers me when he does that but then doesn't give me anything. one day i was buging him all day trying to get him into me...but nothin. then just kidding around i turned on a porn for a few seconds and he was like rock hard, at first i didn't really think anthing of it i was just happy to get some. but while we were having sex i couldn't help but think.. i wasn't the one to turn him on, or why does he need to look at other chicks to get horny. so of course sex wasn't that good for me and it showed, so when he askes what was wrong i told him what i was thinking, about him getting rock hard over porn, and all he said was " it's hard to explain". I just don't think he's atracted to me anymore. it's really starting to cause big fights

I don't think porn should start fights between you two. It sounds cheesy (hate that word haha) but sit down with him one night, doing something he likes (or maybe standing up, ya know if your playin golf or somethin) and casually bring it up. Tell him exactly how you feel, and ask him to explain why he wants porn over you.

To me, I would much rather have the real thing than porn, however when I'm not with the gf, porn isn't so bad. Is it possible maybe you could slightly incorporate porn into a sexual relationship? I know your worried about him not being attracted to you, but that might not be it. My best suggestion is try and talk to him. Don't let it start a fight though.

I guess really there are just a lot of possibilities. If you can find out what exactly goes on in his mind, maybe you can solve the rest of it. And about him getting turned on by porn, I wouldn't really worry about that. Most guys get... yeah, when they see porn, thats normal. However if it doesn't happen with you, then that is reason for concern. I say talk it out, but remember sex isn't everything.

Oh.. and sometimes, guys just need that "alone time," however if it happens often, then thats probably a little more than typical. =]

Originally Posted by Hazanko

I don't think porn should start fights between you two. It sounds cheesy (hate that word haha) but sit down with him one night, doing something he likes (or maybe standing up, ya know if your playin golf or somethin) and casually bring it up. Tell him exactly how you feel, and ask him to explain why he wants porn over you.

To me, I would much rather have the real thing than porn, however when I'm not with the gf, porn isn't so bad. Is it possible maybe you could slightly incorporate porn into a sexual relationship? I know your worried about him not being attracted to you, but that might not be it. My best suggestion is try and talk to him. Don't let it start a fight though.

I guess really there are just a lot of possibilities. If you can find out what exactly goes on in his mind, maybe you can solve the rest of it. And about him getting turned on by porn, I wouldn't really worry about that. Most guys get... yeah, when they see porn, thats normal. However if it doesn't happen with you, then that is reason for concern. I say talk it out, but remember sex isn't everything.

Oh.. and sometimes, guys just need that "alone time," however if it happens often, then thats probably a little more than typical. =]

..most guys get turned on waking up..

First of all...don't feel bad about getting upset at the porn watching. You're entitled to get upset! Secondly, try not to blame your body as the first reason behind it. He may love your body but not so into the positions you're into. Sometimes married couples have to get creative with food, or wigs, or furniture but I definitaly definitaly don't agree with porn. It can make a man think that women are SUPPOSED to look a certain way, and SUPPOSED to be subserviant, and that its ok to treat them poorly. and its not. Make sure he knows how you FEEL about the porn issue not just how mad you are. Let him know that you want to feel desired - not just that you want to "get some"

Other than that honey - *sigh* I just wish you didn't have to go through this - but many of us do (me included) but thankfully I have a wonderful husband and when he found out I wasn't just jealous but also HURT and lost my self confidence because of it - he was willing to give it up ...there is hope

The only way to put this is-He is addicted to porn and he's commiting adultry and you should either divorce him or tell him if he doesnt seek help and quit watching immediately you are goin to leave him-it is grounds for divorce- he is commiting adultry by lusting after these other women-he is thinking of them as ya'll are having sex and you dont turn him on as much as they do-he's not in love w/you or he would stop-its that simple-its hard to take in and you probably hate me for this-but im tellin you the truth-you have got to see it-as said above-what do you think he would do if you started watchg male porn-double standard-he's perverted and needs to get a life-i know its your husband-but he is not in love w/you! you do not need to be married and wasting your life and your SEX(i didn't use love making because intercourse w/out love is SEX)you could be someone who loves you and is obsessed w/you and YOUR Body and gets rock hard from YOUR body and YOUR body only! Get out while you can-or make him see the light-and if he doesnt quit when you threaten to leave that right there should be reason enough to see it's more important to him that you are! Good luck and sorry for the bitter truth-but Im tellin you as a woman of God please take my advice! these forums like these just make me want to hunt these men down! so all i can do is write! w/love your sister in Christ!

Originally Posted by KD22

First of all...don't feel bad about getting upset at the porn watching. You're entitled to get upset! Secondly, try not to blame your body as the first reason behind it. He may love your body but not so into the positions you're into. Sometimes married couples have to get creative with food, or wigs, or furniture but I definitaly definitaly don't agree with porn. It can make a man think that women are SUPPOSED to look a certain way, and SUPPOSED to be subserviant, and that its ok to treat them poorly. and its not. Make sure he knows how you FEEL about the porn issue not just how mad you are. Let him know that you want to feel desired - not just that you want to "get some"

Other than that honey - *sigh* I just wish you didn't have to go through this - but many of us do (me included) but thankfully I have a wonderful husband and when he found out I wasn't just jealous but also HURT and lost my self confidence because of it - he was willing to give it up ...there is hope

Exactly! Im so glad that your husband gave it up! Congrats!