The most embarrassing thing

**Wruinin** · 05-07-2010 07:57 PM

I hope I won't be kicked out of this forum after this thread, but I need some intelligent women' s opinion on this.

I have a great girlfriend, I love her and I think everything goes more or less smoothly. I don't even cheat on her which is usually very difficult for me to do and impossible to avoid when sexual things don't work. So I am trying to do a good job as a loving, faithful boyfriend and she loves me.

Now the tough part. As you know, lots of men, maybe 10 % or 30 % men are somehow interested in some kind of homosexual experience. I think it is the same with women and personally, to me, it's cool with me, you ladies do to yourselves whatever you want, no problem with me. But as a man, I don't think it is cool with most women and especially not with those who love their men and expect him to be 100% straight. I know that in San Francisco it is the opposite and it is weird to be straight and whoever is not at least a bit gay, is more or less wrong. But my girlfriend's background is pretty conservative and I have no clue what her reaction would be if I told her I would like to hold a guy's in my hand. I'll stop here for now and we'll see what happens.

**Cassius** · 05-07-2010 08:04 PM

You want to get a guy on the side ? That would be tough news for most women I imagine.

**stressed** · 05-07-2010 08:20 PM

Whether it's a guy's or a girl's hand you want to hold, makes no difference. If what you are saying is that you want to have a sexual experience with a man, while you have a girlfriend who would consider sex with another girl cheating, then she will not accept it. Whether this sexual experience will happen with a man or a woman it would be considered cheating by most.
You seem to be unhappy with your current sex life, so either try to improve that, or leave your girlfriend and, freely, enjoy any kind of sexual experience you have in mind.

**sourpuss** · 05-07-2010 08:31 PM

Cheating is cheating doesn't matter if it's with a man or a woman. If you really care about your girlfriend and you think you'll act on this fantasy, then you should break it off with her and spare her feelings.
I agree with stressed's post 100%. Sounds like you're not happy with the sexual relationship with your girlfriend in general. So either work that out, or go separate ways and explore your fantasies with willing participants.

**Hopeless Dork** · 05-07-2010 09:14 PM

If it is hard for you to not cheat... you are not ready for a relationship. And agreed with the above posters that gay or straight cheating is cheating.. if you have a desire or fantasy but don't want to actually do it is one thing, if you know you do... then you might as well just see if she wants an open relationship or end your relationship and go do your thing and leave her free to find a man that is interested in woman, and commitment... you know what she thinks she has with you, but less shaky.

**Wruinin** · 05-07-2010 09:33 PM

I agree that cheating is cheating.

I have no problem being faithful to her when it comes to other women. Our sex is fine with me. In the past I cheated on my ex several times because our sex life didn't work at all and I wasn't sure how important that was - sex life.

Probably I have no choice. I am a kind of person who loves to experiment and try new things all the time. Ideally, I would choose a bisexual woman who would have sex with other women from time to time and allow me to have sex with other men from time to time. But this is in dreams, not reality. Find me such a woman, probably it will take you about 700 years. So either I supress my sexual fantasies and stick to one "normal" woman or give up a relationship, sink in sadness, loneliness and ahve some lousy one night stands with epople I don't care about. OK. No choice. I prefer loving one person and give up the dessert.

Also, a question is, what is cheating, some people consider cheating even going to a restaurant with someone attractive and talking to them all night without touching them. To others, it is French kissing, to others, a blow job etc.

**sourpuss** · 05-07-2010 09:50 PM

If my boyfriend went on a date, even if he never touched the other person, I would feel cheated on.

Have you brought up the idea of a threesome with you, her and another man?

**Joey** · 05-07-2010 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

If my boyfriend went on a date, even if he never touched the other person, I would feel cheated on.

I would feel cheated on if my boyfriend even went on a date with another girl! He should be going on dates with me - not someone else!

**Wruinin** · 05-07-2010 10:04 PM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

If my boyfriend went on a date, even if he never touched the other person, I would feel cheated on.

Have you brought up the idea of a threesome with you, her and another man?

I would hate that. It's just my own fantasy I don't want to share with anyone, at least not with a conservative girlfriend. She would have to be absolutely open about it which she is definitely not. When I asked her if she would like to try to do something with a girl, she gave me a kind of puzzled look, like what? Why?

I even hate the idea that I would have a man lover. Gosh, no! It's more like you women sometimes dream about being raped but would never ever wanted to be raped in real life and it would be a horror for you, I dream about being a woman for a while and have fun with a guy, but in real life it feels pretty weird. It doesn't fit the idea I have about myself in general and when I walk down the street I don't look at men, I look at women. And when I remember last night I had that gay fantasy I feel like something must have broken down in my brain. It is just an ocassional fantasy, just like most people have strange or crazy sexual fantasies but most people don't allow them to realize. It is very easy to find a guy and have an oral sex with but because of my relationship I don't want to do it. Especially if wise people discourage me from doing it.

**Joey** · 05-07-2010 10:16 PM

Originally Posted by Wruinin

It's more like you women sometimes dream about being raped but would never ever wanted to be raped in real life.

I can safely say that I have NEVER had this dream or fantasy. I would be incredibly shocked if any woman would. Im interested to find out where you got this from?