Thread: Men & Sex.......why are they so rarely taken seriously?

Originally Posted by WildChild

Well, do some reading here. There are plenty of women who have uninterested, unresponsive men in their lives. It happens with both genders. What you will NEVER hear is a man saying to another man, that he is just plain not interested in sex and wishes his wife/gf would just leave him alone about it. But that is exactly the message many women are given.

Not only that, but just imagine how embarrassing it would be for a woman to admit that her husband turns her down. People would be quick to think that something is wrong with her, because of the stereotype that "all men want sex all of the time."

I could go on about how a high female sex drive can be ridiculed (bad memories of me being put down for it by ex boyfriends!)

This may sound harsh, but I wonder when women say "I have no interest in sex"....Do they really mean they're just not interested in their partner? Some women marry men they're not attracted to for other reasons (financial stability, fear of being alone, etc). If there are relationship problems, that can kill the attraction. The same woman that says she doesn't want to have sex with her husband gets easily aroused by some hot actor.

Point taken.

FWIW, my FORMER lady had everything possible checked at her insistance and was "normal" and no she wasn't on the pill (it wasn't necessary) or anything else.

I'm very grateful to have moved on and to be in a very good place with my current partner. This was just a question thats been on my mind for a while.

Originally Posted by PaneraBread

the stereotype that "all men want sex all of the time."

.

Maybe this is more my issue, without me actually realizing it.

Its a stereotype which I think leads to men's issues about sex being very easily dismissed.

BigDaddy, I have to say that the deck is probably "loaded" here because the women who respond on this Women's Health Sex board are already interested in sex in some way, shape or form, or else they wouldn't be here.

Women who have no desire for sex and don't want to think about it are probably not going to be visiting a discussion group about sex.

So your target audience here isn't going to be able to support your data--but like I said, the deck is kind of stacked here.

Very true on so many points panera. The male sterotype of them wanting sex all the time makes it ALL the more painful when a woman is rejected frequently by her significant other, her mind says 'but men want sex all the time... so something must be wrong with me for him not to want it'. Its hurtful on several levels.

And guys have to thump their chest and be men... I agree that you'd probably never hear them out in public saying to the boys... you know.. I'd rather play halo 3 than have sex... even though some men do exactly that.

I also agree that the deck is stacked here.. a woman that is reading the sexual discussion generally has an interest in sex and making her relationship work... so the type of female you are referring to... is not likely to be here and in fact your going to encounter more of the opposite... the ones that have men in their lives that are disinterested in sex.

There are just some people, male and female... that have have no interest in sex... they probably should just make that clear on the first date, some kind of do in non verbal ways make it obvious early on though, that its just not something their into.

I've learned by reading these very boards that all the stereotypes I've ever had about men and women were so very wrong.

Originally Posted by Rediscovered

BigDaddy, I have to say that the deck is probably "loaded" here because the women who respond on this Women's Health Sex board are already interested in sex in some way, shape or form, or else they wouldn't be here.

Women who have no desire for sex and don't want to think about it are probably not going to be visiting a discussion group about sex.

So your target audience here isn't going to be able to support your data--but like I said, the deck is kind of stacked here.

That was my exact thought about advice on unsexual women, on a sex forum for women.

Originally Posted by WildChild

What you will NEVER hear is a man saying to another man, that he is just plain not interested in sex and wishes his wife/gf would just leave him alone about it. But that is exactly the message many women are given.

That's just wrong for many men. Most guys would love to tell other guys that their wife or girlfriend wants sex all the time. That's a big stroke to our ego and something to brag about. But we're not going approach it in a way and say, "Hey bob, I don't want sex, but sally does, I wish she'd leave me alone."

Being a male-based sexual society with strip clubs, prostitution, porn mags, movies, internet sites, and other things geared to men. Maybe some women see the act of sex as a "thing" for a man. It's washing the dishes, or taking out the garbage, something that is done. Nothing emotional or deep feeling connected to it. It can't be taken seriously. It's just an act, it's not needed to have a successful relationship. "Go play with your willy and get it over with and leave me alone."

Maybe some of the women aren't being sexually satisfied. Therefore once the initial excitement of a new relationship wears off, the need for sex dwindles.

Maybe some women feel the need to jump through sexual hoops in order to "get" a man. Once they get him, those hoops aren't needed anymore.

Maybe there is a low sex drive to start out with and the woman feels that this guy may be different and she'll feel a connection because of how she feels emotionally and the sex will be great. But once it goes on, it's the same ol' thing. Her sex drive goes back to nil.

Hey, I'm not a woman, so these are just guesses. Who knows.