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There's something to get into that's great - the earlier the better and since you've had a child, you'll probably need it too! Often referred to as Kegel exercises, or perineum squeezes, these exercises, which you can do anywhere without anyone knowing (and are totally free!) help to stimulate blood flow to your entire pelvic region. More blood flow = more oxygen on a physical level and where attention goes, energy flows, so if you're doing these exercises regularly, you'll become more sensitive in the area.
I once had a partner who was also smaller and I initially didn't get much satisfaction from our intercourse. But after our started these exercises more regularly and when he was inside me I squeezed too (but not too much to make him orgasm, as this can very pleausurable for them too!) I noticed that I was in the driver's seat when it came to my orgasm. Very empowering, very satisfying. There's a lot to be said about G-spot stimulation - clitoral stimulation is pretty straight forward, but the kind of orgasm you can experience with internal stimulation can be great too - but like others have said before me, it takes time and exploration and playfulness.
While baby has taken your time recently, if you have family nearby, or if you can drop the little one at a babysitter for an afternoon - giving yourselves a few hours of re-connecting can be vital to getting your relationship from rocky to exciting once more. Cell phones off, internet/TV off, music on and the intention to just play for a few hours, with no race to the finish line, can do wonders for your relationship - believe me, if you suggest this to him, he will LOVE the idea.. who would pass up an opportunity like this? Schedule it in if you have to - sometimes to get spontaneous great sex, we have to schedule in some practice time.
I hope this helps, because you do not have to settle for mediocre sexual experiences, none of us do! But we also have to take responsibility for our orgasms too, know our bodies and you've done that by asking your question, so you're halfway there.
Check out *Removed outbound link* - it's the UK head office of the International Institute for Tantra so you'll find a link where you can find out more from people based closer to where you are.
I'm having a baby next month too - so totally understand where you're at having seen my older sisters before me go through a period of non-sexuality post-birth. But I cannot stress enough how important it is to make time for this. Not only you, but your whole family will reap the benefits of you guys making this commitment to explore your pleasure - kids can pick up on what's happening energetically and if we're feeling satisfied, they feel satisfied too.
Originally Posted by Cassius
I always thought that the fact that I found no pleasure in sex was due to sexual abuse growing up, but no matter what, I found myself too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. Finally in desperation, I prayed about it & the answer I got was, "You'll get out of it what you put into it. So, I decided to experiment...I started making sexual romance a priority & strive to build up to the moment throughout that special day by sending him sex messages & pics. Then, if my arousal was wearing off by the time he was about to get home, I'd shower & let the hot water stimulate my clitoris enough until almost orgasming...the hotter the water, the better, at least for me. When he got home, I'd surprise him by ravaging him! I had to force myself to breathe, moan & make sounds like a porn star, but it really helped. Also, a glass of wine usually gets me going & makes me not mind nipple action that would normally irritate me. Anyway, good luck!
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