Sex doesn't feel good for me :(

**braidensmommy** · 05-12-2010 09:32 PM

I'm 21 years old.

I lost my virginity at 19, I was determined to see what all the fuss was about,and sadly for me, I got nothing. Alot of people complain about not being able to orgasm, to me, they're lucky, because I dont even get one ounce of "feel good" with sex. I got married last year, so obviously sex isnt everything to me, but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to enjoy sex like everyone else in this world. The only stimulation I get is from oral or fingers. I can even orgasm, ( I think...) with those. I've had 3 sexual partners, 2 continuous ones ( had sex more than once) and never got anything, a couple times I thought they were gonna hit the spot, but never did. I do relax but the only one ever getting anything is my husband. He loves it of course, but from the second he enters me til the second its over, I get nothing. He even goes really deep. Although one main problem is probably that he is pretty small, unfortunately.

Also, we have a 5 month old son together, so apparently we're pretty fertile, I always wanted for sex to at least feel good for me before I became pregnant, but that didnt happen, now I would like for it to happen before I get any older and not able to experience it! Please Help! Thanks!

If anyone can please give me any kind of info,advice,or whatever. Anything will be very welcomed! If you need additional info, I will be more than glad to elaborate!

Thank You.

**shaunzie89** · 05-12-2010 09:38 PM

Well, honestly sex didn't use to feel god to me either. Like it was painful and didn't do much for me. I didn't see what all the fuss was about. But ever since my fiance and I have been having sex, its gotten better and better.

How often do you all have sex? It takes a lot of practice and communication to figure out what feels right and good. I promise you it will start to get better and feel good eventually.

**Explorer44** · 05-12-2010 09:45 PM

Have you considered trying stimulating yourself with some adult toys? You could experiment, see what feels good to you, find the angles you enjoy...

Just a thought

**WildChild** · 05-12-2010 09:51 PM

Get online and order a copy of, The Orgasm Loop, by sex therapist, Susan Crain Bakos. She has several books but I think is a good starting one. She explains why so many women have problems with orgasm and exactly what to do. It's not guaranteed this will do for you but hey, it won't hurt to give it a try and she's had remarkable success with this.

Check out this thread for other book suggestions
http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...books-sex.html

Many women do take time to grow into it. Believe me, your husband will enjoy it all the more if you do too so he should be a supporter and facilitator of this effort.

**grrrr** · 05-12-2010 09:56 PM

I agree with both responses.... it does take time to "sync" yourselves with one another - however, you really DO have to know your own body and the "spots" that get you off. So toys can be great for that....

It's totally annoying, but finding things out for yourself by yourself can be fun - and educational!

**braidensmommy** · 05-12-2010 10:00 PM

When we first got together last yr we had sex alot, for him of course, but now we rarely ever do, he works 3rd shift, we have a son to take care of and stay so busy we dont have time for it. We just had sex the other day for the first time in 5 months since my son was born. I only do it for him because obviously I could care less since it doesnt feel good. I feel so embarrassed because I am married. I know we should have sex more , most married couples do, but all we ever really do, very rarely still, is oral and such. Our relationship is very rocky and this may play a factor in it, We love each other, hes not had much experience in sex either, hes only had one partner prior to me, his ex wife, so it really sucks that we are both in the same boat as far as experience. I just dont understand why sex period, doesnt feel good for me at all, no one I have talked to understands it, but out of all the millions of people out there I figured SOMEONE could relate... =/ I still have hope after many many yrs. I dont really have the budget to be buying all sorts of things, so advice is my only option at the moment until my financial situation gets better...

**WildChild** · 05-12-2010 10:03 PM

This is not an expensive book, it's paperback. It's written by a woman sex therapist who has dealt with this extensively. There is too much to cover here but I think you would find it of value.

**braidensmommy** · 05-12-2010 10:08 PM

Thanks, I'll look it up and see what I think about it.

**Hopeless Dork** · 05-12-2010 10:39 PM

If you can orgasm with fingers and oral... its not his smaller size that is keeping you from having an orgasm during sex with him. Its probably lack of stimulation to your clitoris... or that his angle isn't hitting the spot the way his finger does.

Allow him to rub your clitoris while he penetrates you, or better yet... rub it yourself while he inside of you -- positions that work well to hit the average good spots on a woman are doggystyle and missionary with legs over his shoulders and both of those positions make it easy for you to rub yourself during the process...

At 21 don't worry about losing your drive as you age, most women enjoy sex more and more with age, not less. I have always been a sexual person but at 21 my orgasms were not as strong as at 25 and at 25 my orgasms didn't feel anywhere near as good as they did at 30... most women don't hit their peak til late 30's so you have a LOT to look forward to.

**braidensmommy** · 05-12-2010 10:47 PM

Well, with fingers its just clitoral stimulation. But wow Thanks for the info on the age thing. Although I dont look forward to aging but nice to know I have something to look forward to. It would be nice to try things but we never even have time and with my son around things are just way to awkward to even try. =/