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Thread: Men who prefer masturbation to sex.

  1. #41
    March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array
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    I think people tend to judge this by their own experiences. If someone has a partner who is very lazy in bed, they may assume that most people of the gender are similar. Hopeless Dork seems to be what I would consider an excellent lover - someone who does their best to please their partner, and it sounds like her partner is the same. (Hope she and her SO realizes how lucky they are ). A lot of people are in much less symmetric relationships.

    Similarly someone in an excellent sexual relationship may assume that most people behave the way they do, and when they hear someone complaining about a bad relationship tend to think that person is at least partially at fault.

  2. #42
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    My ex wanted me to tie her up in the woods and have sex with her. Never happened.
    Well, all I can say to that, (as I am the one who wrote that's my fantasy), is my "now" boyfriend better one day, or else he'll be my ex

    Just kidding.

    But, seriously that poses a question? Why would someone not do something that their partner would love to do when it's purely adventurous, tame, only slightly risky, and fits within boundaries? "Simply sex" instead of a bed, in the woods?

    I don't get that...

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE LIGHT IN MY SOUL!

  3. #43
    VIP Member Array MiniVanMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    But, seriously that poses a question? Why would someone not do something that their partner would love to do when it's purely adventurous, tame, only slightly risky, and fits within boundaries? "Simply sex" instead of a bed, in the woods?

    I don't get that...

    CW
    To quote my wife: "It's just not something that interests me".



    - MiniVanMan

  4. #44
    VIP Member Array MiniVanMan's Avatar
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    I'll take a stab at this one from my own point of view.

    For the most part I masturbate because I'm not getting my needs met by my wife. However, there have been times when I do it because, yes, I prefer it over sex. Why? It depends.

    Maybe I just need some personal "me" time, just for myself. It's like drawing a hot bath, turning down the lights, and feeling the bubbles wash over me as I relax. It's time when I only think of myself. No worries. Everything goes as I want it to go. I can think of anything, any fantasy, without distractions. It's so relaxing. It gets my mind off things. These are reasons she's given me for her own masturbation.

    Maybe it's early and I've got morning wood. My wife hates morning sex, but I might be able to get her in the mood after spending two or three hours trying (not an exaggeration) . So instead I take care of it myself.

    Maybe my wife is willing to accommodate me but not particularly interested in it herself. She wants to end it quickly and get on with her day. Not much of a turn on, really. So if that's the vibe I get sometimes I'll just fly solo, thanks anyway.

    Maybe I'm horny but I just don't have the energy to be that physically active at that particular time for whatever reason. If she wants to ride me while I lay on my back, that's fine. If she needs a more responsive husband than I can be at that instant, it's not going to work for either of us. This rarely happens, I just want to say. Last time was after a long day of skiing, I was exhausted and sore from being so out of shape. I could hardly move. I was horny, but me just laying there wasn't going to do it for her. So I took care of it alone.

    Maybe I just need something different once in a while. A different sensation that she can't give me. Perhaps I've found an old sex toy that I haven't enjoyed for months or even years. Sure, I'll indulge. It spices things up. Makes life more interesting.

    To be clear, probably 95% of the time I will prefer sex with my wife. Her warm body, her scents and sounds, and the intimacy that sex involves are all just so wonderful. But there are reasons, legitimate reasons, that I might not ALWAYS prefer sex to masturbation.

    - MiniVanMan

  5. #45
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Well I think that sucks MiniVanMan, I get " fear" as to a reason not to be adventurous, but geez, if she went back to when she was 20, surely she had some adventure in her then, and visiting the past could have bought her more into the future. Pretty sure that is what I did, "on my own" when my marriage broke up, I visited the "past" mentally and remember who I was, sexual/sensual/horny, not some piece of meat that is only there for vaginal sex

    I do understand masterbation for men, I think it's clear that it's quicker, it's only your hand that hurts not your whole body You can drift off, dream, relax, there is no performance and no anxiety over either cumming or not being able to with your partner.

    I think masterbation for women off course releaves stress as well, and I think it keeps them feeling sexy, (does it make a man feel sexy if he is sexually active via himself or with a partner?)..

    And, to women, that do this on their own, do they also do it with their partners? Or is it a sacred thing that belongs to them, still feeling it's "dirty" to do in front of their partner?

    And, again back to you Do you find it sexy to masterbate in front of your partner, or would you? Or, would you only masterbate on your own?

    Haha, I've become curious over how each person thinks on this... Soooorrrry....

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE LIGHT IN MY SOUL!

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    And, again back to you Do you find it sexy to masterbate in front of your partner, or would you? Or, would you only masterbate on your own?

    Haha, I've become curious over how each person thinks on this... Soooorrrry....

    CW
    I would love to be able to do this in front of my wife, and her with me. She has never masturbated, in her life, or so she claims. Maybe I should start it off and ask her to just watch me. Then maybe she can learn to explore her own body and experiment with what makes her feel good.

  7. #47
    VIP Member Array MiniVanMan's Avatar
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    I feel sexy any time I'm being sexual. Alone or with someone. Either way. Heck, I feel sexy just talking about this!

    I would feel sexy masturbating in front of my wife if I thought she'd enjoy watching. But since sex is so low on her priority list (as she likes to say), she's just not interested in what I do or how I do it.

    I used to have a girlfriend who preferred to have sex with the lights on because that way she could watch my face as I climaxed. She loved all the silly contortions I would display. It would put a big smile on her face. I found that quite charming.

    Now that I know my wife is masturbating as much as I do, virtually overnight I've developed this fantasy of watching her do it. It would be a big turn on, but I'm also just curious about how it all happens. How does she start? What happens first? Does she use any toys? What exactly is she doing that feels so good? Does she thrash around or lay there quietly? Does she make noises? What happens when she's finished? Does she have to clean herself up, like I do?

    I could go on and on. I find all aspects of sexuality fascinating.

    - MiniVanMan

  8. #48
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    I told my fiance once that men do all the work and got a 5 minute lecture about how hard it is to hold your legs open while having a man's pelvic bone repeatedly smacking you.

    My fault too for saying I'm not a huge fan of having the woman on top because I'm paranoid of penis fractures. And for smoking. Smoking kills stamina, which makes any man's job ten times harder in bed.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by darcdante View Post
    I told my fiance once that men do all the work and got a 5 minute lecture about how hard it is to hold your legs open while having a man's pelvic bone repeatedly smacking you.
    Do we have another who thinks men do all the work? I do hope you were just kidding around with her and don't actually believe that.

    I think you'll find that is not the case here among us ladies.
    Last edited by Fallen1; 05-21-2010 at 08:02 AM.
    There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

  10. #50
    Banned from WH Array Thomas Hepburn's Avatar
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    Not necessarily that they do all the work, but have you noticed how society puts all the pressure on men? If a man can't get an erection that's his problem and he must sort it out.If a woman is not sufficiently aroused, again, that's because he has not given her enough attention to get her aroused. I wonder just what women are supposed to be responsible for if the man is responsible for getting both bodies aroused ??

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