Why am I so freaked out?

**MMSR** · 05-18-2010 09:35 PM

My boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex. Im still a virgin and he knows that. I think Im ready, but everytime we are trying to do it I get freaked out and can't relax. I end up killing the passion. What can I do?

**Mes T** · 05-18-2010 10:10 PM

What about it freaks you out?

**jns** · 05-18-2010 10:10 PM

Keep trying. Try joking around so you both relax.

**caterpillar79** · 05-18-2010 11:24 PM

Make sure you are protected. What is it in particular that causes you not to relax? The first time encounter? The sensations? Being caught? Please do elaborate if it's OK.

**MMSR** · 05-19-2010 08:10 PM

Well, I guess that what freaks me out the most is being caught, my mom is a very conservative person and to her having sex in my house, on my bed is morally wrong. Showing my body also freaks me out

**PJhavinfunagain** · 05-19-2010 09:11 PM

then in my opinion... you are not ready or confident enough in your partner

**Mes T** · 05-19-2010 09:25 PM

I don't think it's anything to do with her partner... looks like some internal issues that need to be worked out, in my opinion.

MMSR, yeah, being scared of your mom walking in would definitely kill the experience. Is there some other place you can have sex, other than your parents' home? Does your boyfriend have an apartment?

If you two don't have any place to do this safely, I'd just wait a while, rather than trying but being really scared about it and ultimately not getting anywhere.

Have you thought about the reasons behind being scared about showing your body? Being comfortable in nothing but your skin is pretty key to a fulfilling sex life. Perhaps you should work on your comfort and confidence level first, before plunging into the act.

And as always, Don't Neglect to Get Some Form of Birth Control, if you haven't already.

**PJhavinfunagain** · 05-19-2010 09:33 PM

That's why I said "In my opinion" Perhaps my response was too short. I just meant that if she was closer and had unlimited trust and confidence in her partner she would be more confident in showing her body. Are there other issues... Probably but if she's afraid of removing her clothes she is not ready for sex (in my opinion). If she was ready she would find some where some how to get the deed done (again MY opinion and personal experience)

**grrrr** · 05-19-2010 10:27 PM

Originally Posted by PJhavinfunagain

That's why I said "In my opinion" Perhaps my response was too short. I just meant that if she was closer and had unlimited trust and confidence in her partner she would be more confident in showing her body. Are there other issues... Probably but if she's afraid of removing her clothes she is not ready for sex (in my opinion). If she was ready she would find some where some how to get the deed done (again MY opinion and personal experience)

That's actually a good point. It's hard to be intimate with someone that you don't feel completely comfortable with.

**Mes T** · 05-19-2010 11:12 PM

I agree. Ideally intimacy with someone else should be what happens in the end, after you build and build your confidence, trust, and whatever else goes into having an enjoyable experience.