Sex with girlfriend

**sandman24** · 05-18-2010 10:35 AM

*Moderator moved post and responses to separate thread, since OP's original issue was being overlooked.*

My GF and I had awesome sex from jump street b/c we were quickly comfortable & loose & both really try hard to please each other & try different things.

one night she said she wanted to use a vibrator while we had sex and she would rock my world... I had never had a girl want to use a toy with me so I was excited to try it; I was not disappointed, she came like a freak and so did I. I had made her cum everytime b4, but not like that. I enjoyed getting to be lazy and watch her in pure bliss.

I enjoyed the novelty for awhile but started to feel more like a spectator than a participant. I don't mean to sound arrogant or chauvinistic but I've always prided myself in reading

**BasketCase** · 05-18-2010 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by sandman24

Lori,

I've been in this situation & feel ur pain. My GF and I had awesome sex from jump street b/c we were quickly comfortable & loose & both really try hard to please each other & try different things.

one night she said she wanted to use a vibrator while we had sex and she would rock my world... I had never had a girl want to use a toy with me so I was excited to try it; I was not disappointed, she came like a freak and so did I. I had made her cum everytime b4, but not like that. I enjoyed getting to be lazy and watch her in pure bliss.

I enjoyed the novelty for awhile but started to feel more like a spectator than a participant. I don't mean to sound arrogant or chauvinistic but I've always prided myself in reading

I wouldn't take it personally hun. A vibrator is hard for a man to compete with. But at the same time a vibrator can't give you that closenesss, listening to your partners rapid breathing, light touches and all these things that make sex great.

The thing I think is hard for men to understand it an orgasm is just the icing on the cake. It's the entire experience that makes sex good.

**sandman24** · 05-18-2010 12:29 PM

basketcase,

Thanks for the reassurance. i've done my best not to take it personal but it's emasculating when urgirl can't come W/o a toy... I made her cum almost all the time b4 she started using it. she was insecure about her breasts until I convinced her that I'm an man and big ta ta's on a young girl =a wide when she's older...why would she tell me i'm the shorest guy she's been w/ or that one of her ex's has a 10 incher??? Is she trying to mess W/ me??? I've dated some knock-outs but would never tell her that they were hotter than her..

**LanaBear** · 05-18-2010 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by sandman24

basketcase,

Thanks for the reassurance. i've done my best not to take it personal but it's emasculating when urgirl can't come W/o a toy... I made her cum almost all the time b4 she started using it. she was insecure about her breasts until I convinced her that I'm an man and big ta ta's on a young girl =a wide when she's older...why would she tell me i'm the shorest guy she's been w/ or that one of her ex's has a 10 incher??? Is she trying to mess W/ me??? I've dated some knock-outs but would never tell her that they were hotter than her..

That sounds a bit insensitive of her... And women can build up a resistance to less stimulation from using vibrators too much, just like men can build up resistance to any stimulation other than his hand. It's sounds like it is time to ease up on the toys for a bit.

And again, any women would would make comments like that comparing a current love to an ex, IMO, is rude and may be a little vindictive.

**stressed** · 05-18-2010 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by sandman24

i've done my best not to take it personal but it's emasculating when urgirl can't come W/o a toy... I made her cum almost all the time b4 she started using it.

She must stop using a vibrator. She can't really enjoy sex this way and it obviously affects you. Have you asked her to stop? It has to make sense to her.

Originally Posted by sandman24

why would she tell me i'm the shorest guy she's been w/ or that one of her ex's has a 10 incher??? Is she trying to mess W/ me???

Did you ask her those questions or she just said those things by herself? Does she say it in a teasing manner, or does she mean "those were better than you"? If you are the shortest and smallest guy she's been with, so what? Would you want her to lie? If you didn't ask her then I don't see why she'd tell you that, unless she's very confident about her feelings towards you or considers you superior to those subjects, or she just wants to hurt your feelings. But if it is true and she is happy with you the way you are, seriously, so what? Taller and larger doesn't mean better. But a lot depends on how you talk to each other, how you communicate and if you know each other well enough to talk about those things confident enough to take any answer. My bf has been with a girl larger and taller than me, he's liked larger girls in the past, so? Some times it's better not to dwell on things said light-heartedly.

Originally Posted by sandman24

I've dated some knock-outs but would never tell her that they were hotter than her..

I find that kind of mean of you to admit (without wanting to offend you, or anything). Just because her ex'es were taller or larger doesn't make them 'hotter'. It was only about their physical traits, not the level of attractiveness. With what you say here you claim you've been with girls you've been more attracted to in the past, but what she said does not imply the same. I could be wrong, it's just how I perceive it.

**LanaBear** · 05-18-2010 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by stressed

Did you ask her those questions or she just said those things by herself? Does she say it in a teasing manner, or does she mean "those were better than you"? If you are the shortest and smallest guy she's been with, so what? Would you want her to lie? If you didn't ask her then I don't see why she'd tell you that, unless she's very confident about her feelings towards you or considers you superior to those subjects, or she just wants to hurt your feelings. But if it is true and she is happy with you the way you are, seriously, so what? Taller and larger doesn't mean better. But a lot depends on how you talk to each other, how you communicate and if you know each other well enough to talk about those things confident enough to take any answer. My bf has been with a girl larger and taller than me, he's liked larger girls in the past, so? Some times it's better not to dwell on things said light-heartedly.

She's talking penis size, not height, it's a rude thing to say, IMO, to compare current lovers to ex's.

Originally Posted by stressed

I find that kind of mean of you to admit (without wanting to offend you, or anything). Just because her ex'es were taller or larger doesn't make them 'hotter'. It was only about their physical traits, not the level of attractiveness. With what you say here you claim you've been with girls you've been more attracted to in the past, but what she said does not imply the same. I could be wrong, it's just how I perceive it.

Don't you find this kind of contradictory? You say up above that he shouldn't worry about the comparisons, yet, he mentions it and says he would never even tell her that and you tell him that it is mean.

I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it or not enough.

**stressed** · 05-18-2010 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

She's talking penis size, not height, it's a rude thing to say, IMO, to compare current lovers to ex's.

I don't think it's rude to say that an ex had a larger penis or larger breasts (as long as it is relative to a conversation and not said at wrong moments, or said in a way that could imply '...and I preferred that'). It's only a fact and something that will come out sooner or later in a conversation, or as a joke, or during a film.

Originally Posted by LanaBear

Don't you find this kind of contradictory? You say up above that he shouldn't worry about the comparisons, yet, he mentions it and says he would never even tell her that and you tell him that it is mean.

I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it or not enough.

But I did explain the difference. To say that an ex was of this or that size is one thing, but to say "my ex was hotter than you" is another. Not in the sense of "but they were hotter and we cannot change the past", but in the sense of him feeling that his ex'es were in fact hotter than his current gf. I don't think it's easy to explain what I mean...

For example, my ex'es were larger than my current bf. He kept asking me about whether his was larger or not than my ex'es. I didn't lie about it and I don't find my ex'es more attractive because of their size. Size to me is irrelevant to attractiveness or personality. To lie and say "yours is the biggest I've ever seen" would serve no purpose, other than him being content as a man with a lie. If he would have never asked I'd probably never tell him because it's nothing I think about.

BUT

If I'd tell myself "my ex'es were hotter than this guy" it would be as if I'm not satisfied with my current SO. That I've had better than him attractiveness-wise. I can never say my ex'es were hotter than my current bf because he's the hottest guy I can be with, because that's how I feel about him. I don't look at his penis and think "oh, I've had larger ones". He's the hottest of all the way he is.

I don't know if I'm making any sense, I type in kind of a hurry.

**LanaBear** · 05-18-2010 03:57 PM

I do get what you are saying (I think,

), but I don't know, I guess I don't believe in the whole comparison thing between lovers (I think it's cheap), whether it's looks, body type, emotional, mental, etc. I think everybody is their own person and when you do start comparing, the other person is bound to get hurt, whether it is justified or not, egos are fragile and insecurities are very easy to come by.

You are right, we don't know the context of the conversation when talking penis size, but I still think it is a potshot. Especially in the context of largeness, most of us know men are always thinking larger is better and for her to tell him her ex was 10 inches, meh, I think that is something that could be better off left unsaid. However, I do agree, if he is asking, how big how big how big, well, I'm not sure if I'd say "Yeah, the guy was ginormous, 10 big ole inches." I'd have a bit more respect in my reply and come up with something a bit better than that.

But again, like you said, it depends on the context of the conversation for some I guess, just still something I'd ever discuss. As even though I know all of my husbands ex partners and him mine (we lived in a small town where everybody knew everybody), I don't want to know the specifics of what did her boobs look like, what she did for him, etc. Even though we have not been with anybody but each other in over 15 years.

And now, I feel like I'm rambling, lol. Not that easy to express it on here.

**sandman24** · 05-19-2010 02:22 PM

To clear up any confusion, I make it a point not to ask about past relationships & don't wanna talk about mine either...I don't wanna hear u talk bad about everyone u've been W/ to make me feel better b'c it takes almost as much time & energy to dislike someone as it does to really like them, & shows that ur still thinking of them. I'd rather have a girl I like hate me than be indifferent about me; if i'm on ur mind I can influence u.

I think she's insecure sometimes & wants me to be that way too.
Stressed, to guys physical characteristics = attractiveness, whereas w\ women, there r other factors that carry as much or more weight...u never see a hot dude W/ a ugly nice girl?

Thanks in advance,
Sandman24

**Mes T** · 05-19-2010 06:54 PM

I've never been able to orgasm from intercourse, oral, or manual from my partner(s). EVER.

I've been trying to stimulate myself while he's inside of me, but... I find it really difficult to find a sensitive spot, because him being inside of me kind of shifts/stretches my clitoris? If that makes any sense?

I really have got to come up with some inventive ways to do this.

Ugh. Why does it have to be so hard for some women??

Originally Posted by sandman24

.u never see a hot dude W/ a ugly nice girl?

I gotta say...